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I tend to be a person who does not like to stand out in a crowd. As an introvert my normal style is try to blend into the woodwork. If everyone is dressed up and I'm not, I'm uncomfortable. If everyone is casual and I'm dressed up, I'm uncomfortable. Yet I have chosen to wear my hair long.
I have often tried to examine the reasons why this is so important to me. But first, I must ask myself, who am I? I'm a man, husband, father, son, friend, musician (I play piano and keyboard but not in a rock band), artist (Graphic Designer)... I tend to be compassionate, understanding, thoughtful, and passionate in everything I do. But I'm also a longhair. I confess, it's true!
When I was a Junior in High School the Beatles were first popular. Yeah, that's a long time ago! I wanted to wear my hair in the same style as them. After high school I went to an art college near San Francisco (in the last half of the 60's and the height of the Flower Child era) so longhair was very much in style. Although I wasn't drawn into the drugs or sex I liked the longhair look. But unlike many of my friends, I never stopped liking that look and through the years have gone back and forth between long and short hair.
I would conform to society's short hair image for awhile, then grow my hair back. At my first job I grew my hair below my shoulders. We were in the "art department" of a publishing company in San Francisco, and it was acceptable. Then we moved to the more conservative central valley of California. My hair was short for a time. After several years I got a perm and grew a beard, with my hair was shoulder length or slightly longer.
Finally in the early 90's I decided I really wanted to go for it. I started growing my hair for about 9 months. Then an important job opportunity came along and I cut my hair. I didn't get the job. I was angry for cutting my hair so I started growing it again. I grew it for over two years... even got my present job with a pony tail about six inches long. My goal was to grow it until I was 50 and then decide if I wanted to keep it. But then another job opportunity came along and I cut it again. I interviewed for three different positions with my company but didn't get any of them, all with short hair, yet I had been hired there with long. I was depressed for cutting my hair and determined this wouldn't happen again. Now I have been growing it out for three years and don't intend to cut it unless I am out of work for a long time and then only if it is absolutely necessary.
Yes, there are other things in my life that are more important than longhair, but it is still a pretty damn important part of me. It goes beyond just being a fashion statement or being like my friends (all my friends and even my two sons are short hairs). In act, my family (including my wife of 29+ years) really do not like my hair long. But my desire for long hair goes much deeper than for social reasons, and it is a part of who I am.
How about any of you? Are you a longhair for social reasons or is it part of your identity? How important is it to you? What kind of a pilgramage has it been for you?
Msg #3392 in *JOBS* Created on 12/06/90 at 13:32:47
To: Dave Aronson, From: Ken Zwaschka
Subject: Re: Sample resume commentsYup. This is all pretty subjective. What one employer considers mandatory,
another will consider offensive. My feeling is that if you do it your way,
and if the employer doesn't like it, you will probably identify other things
with which you disagree... and I would rather find out before I go to work there
and burn all the other bridges.I have had a beard since I was 19 years old. I used to shave it off, if I felt
I could more easily get a job. About 18 years ago, I decided that if an employer
didn't like my beard, they would have other things they didn't like in the long
run, anyway. I stopped shaving, and lo! I had a much better string of good,
satisfying jobs, with bosses and co-workers I liked.--- msged 2.00
* Origin: Ken's Point at the Office (503)281-6808 (1:105/54.54)
Msg #3708 in *JOBS* Created on 12/07/90 at 14:05:15
To: Ken Zwaschka, From: Dave Aronson
Subject: Re: Sample resume comments > Yup. This is all pretty subjective. What one employer considers
> mandatory, another will consider offensive. My feeling is that if you do
> it your way, and if the employer doesn't like it, you will probably
> identify other things with which you disagree... and I would rather find
> out before I go to work there and burn all the other bridges.
>
> I have had a beard since I was 19 years old. I used to shave it off, if
> I felt I could more easily get a job. About 18 years ago, I decided that
> if an employer didn't like my beard, they would have other things they
> didn't like in the long run, anyway. I stopped shaving, and lo! I had a
> much better string of good, satisfying jobs, with bosses and co-workers I
> liked.Gee, maybe I should grow my hair long again!--- Maximus-CBCS v1.00
* Origin: TIDMADT Comp. Consulting (703) 370-7054; Voice 370-6508 (1:109/120)
you have independently confirmed a previous discussion here on a couple different categories of longhairs. you fit into the 'identity' longhair segment (as defined by bill- who frequents this board.)... the chances are good that you felt resentment when you cut your hair for job reasons.. that employers were being needlessly heavy-handed for telling you how you can wear your hair affecting your appearance off the job as well as on. conforming to societie's norms left you feeling like you had given your freedom and right to be yourself. it seemed somehow un-american. you were, and are correct- as is bill.
your friends from the 60's fit into the 'fashion' longhair segment... that is they wore long hair when it was in style, but had no problem cutting it when it went out. some of these people might think of their longhair days as some sort of phase they went through.
i consider myself to be more of an 'identity' longhair myself, as i have always been uncomfortable with short hair... and that i am wearing it long when buzz cuts & shaven heads are in. i have dealt with an occasional off color remark or stare- this does not bother me- is not my problem that someone is willing to display his or her ignorance for all to see. the biggest problem i've had growing mine out is finding a reasonably priced stylist that isn't scissor-happy. i kept mine short for job reasons up to '88.
Your message freaked me out, because so much of it sounds like me. I am also a longhaired person of the "identity" type (I assume you've read Bill's "being a longhair" essay?). I am also a introvert who usually goes the way of the least social resistance (which says a lot when you consider my determination to have long hair). I am also a graphic artists (this is my senior year). And--get this--I live in Fresno, which is in the very valley you spoke of. Small world!
I'll add even more to the small world.... my wife grew up in Porterville and went to college at Pacific College in Fresno. Some of my daughter-in-law's family now lives in Fresno. Hopefully you won't meet too much resistance to your long hair in Fresno when you enter the job world. It is certainly a more conservative area of California, but I have seen some very long-haired guys even in Porterville.
My inlaws, however, still haven't gotten used to me in long hair, but at least after 30 years my father-in-law no longer threatens to get out the scissors! We cannot please everyone!
If you decide after graduation you want to look for a job in Sacramento write to my e-mail address and perhaps I can give you some leads. We longhairs all need to stick together and help each other out when we can. Good luck to you and thanks for adding to my soapbox!
I tend to be a rather introverted person who dislikes beeing in the limelight. However this does not keep me from dressing as I like and from wearing long hair and beard. I made the longhair choice long ago and - despite the huge amount of pressure exerted on me by both family, employers and authorities at one time or another - managed to keep my hair at least 10 inches long during most of the last 25 years or so. Until 1988 I lived in Romania, which was ruled at that time by one of the most repressive communist regimes in Europe and where tolerance towards any kind of dissent was nil.
I was also attracted by the '60s and '70s hairstyles, but I wasn't able to grow my hair long until 1975 due to the school dress code which banned it. Since then I had constantly long hair except for a couple of times when I had to cut it for military service. Later I managed to keep my long hair on my job as engineer working for the Romanian Railways - I was the only in my department that knew computer programming...
In the Copenhagen suburban trains and stations one can pick a free magazine edited by the DSB (Danish State Railways) on a monthly basis. The magazine contains all sorts of things that one can spend time reading while travelling by train - short stories, interviews with known people, quizzes, railway-related stuff, news on cultural and sports events, and so on. A few months ago there was a page in this magazine with the title "Hair Advice". One of the advices on that page read (translation from Danish):
"If there is no place for your hair at your workplace, then there is no place for you either."
Long hair is part of my identity and I won't willingly part with it for any reason. And, after confronting a lot of opposition from many sides and for a long time regarding this issue, I eventually decided that I'd rather be myself - with long hair and all - than bend to others' wishes. And I became pretty tough on it too...
Nick, born longhair