new thread
hi, im a high school senior with long hair past shoulder length about 4 or 5 inches. My junior year (last school year) a group of kids around in Febuary started shouting things at me. There was the over used and dreaded "Get a haircut!" and for them the most commonly used "CLIPPERS!" I hate it when they shout clippers, it sends chills down my spine and makes me want to rip theres out and beat them in the face with it. They would come over at my table in study hall, sit down and tell me to cut my hair. One of the idiots asked a stupid question about "are you taking female hormones to grow that hair, i should buy you a set of boobs." In case your wondering, no i don't look like a girl so the statements were sexist and stereotypical and just over all moronic. Some other comments were "are you gay? only homosexuals have long hair" which is actually the opposite and no im not gay. They threw paper airplanes at my table with pictures of buzzers and scissors and a hair pile on the floor with it saying "are you afraid of the barber shop?" To retaliate I went all the way down to their level. The one kid had a hunchback which I actually came up with some really creul jokes and relentless insults. I heard from people that he was crying once because of the hunckback jokes. The moronic person with the quotes, was a delinquent who looked like a monkey. The person who i guess started it has the greasiest face of anyone ive ever seen. You could squeeze his left cheek and have enough oil to support all the cars of the world. Then theres the right one to refill until hes dead, decinegrates and all thats left is a casket full of grease. I finally decided to be the better person and put an end to it all. I talked to each of them individually and everything was settled. Somebody told Nate(hunchback) that I was still making jokes about him which I wasn't. One of his friends lives on my street and one day I was walking my dog; I heard someone shout "CLIPPERS!" and I turned around and shouted "HUNCHBACK" and then he said he was sorry and I appologized too. We agreed to once and for all end everything and we did. Now in my senior year, the kids house Nate was at is now shouting clippers at me. I just want to punch him in the face. These are the only people discriminating against me. The only other person was a girl in my english class, but she wasn't discriminating. She was just giving me an unwelcomed and unnessicary fashion tip. She only told me I should cut my hair, its just an outdated style. I told her that I wasnt going to and that its none of her business. Then we went on about our business and just forgot about it. Back to the point, the one kid looks like a wannabe gangster peewee herman. I am sick of this one group of arrogant and ignorant people who I didn't do anything to. My long hair in no way affects their life what so ever. If anyone read this whole thing and has faced the same kind of discrimination, id be glad to read your story. If anyone has advice about how to handle this peewee herman look alike, then please reply. Im not sure if I should just beat the living crap out of him, because I can do it easily, or if I should talk to him. I know if I talk to him he'll just keep repeating clippers clippers clippers.
Many of us know what discrimination feels like and have suffered, at least to some degree, harassment like you have. However, after reading your post, I don't think either side of your "problem" is necessarily right and/or justifiable. Yes, a smart comment is always good to stop nagging putdowns. However, while you feel that their screaming "clippers" is degrading you as a person, what about you poking fun at (in a mean-spirited way) and wishing death upon (the casket comment) those who you claim make fun of you? While doing it to their faces in retaliation is one thing, doing it behind their backs on an internet message board is an entirely different matter. Let's face it. That's what more than half of your post contained.
The reason they continue to make fun of you is because it gets a rise out of you. Ignore them and their attention span will eventually run out.
I know it can make you miserable. Especially with everyones intrusive questions. i.e. "When are you getting it cut?" "You know....you would look WAY better with short hair." "Are you gay?" and im sure theres a thousand others that have been thrown your way. I know, eventually you just want to lash out at every ignorant comment you hear, but thats not the way. Just ignore the "Clipper" comment. What Redleader said, if it gets you all excited and angry hearing that, your gonna have to learn to pretend it doesn;t bug you. Cause they say that cause they know your gonna react in some way, and they will just keep ribbing you. I hope you keep your hair though, and you seem like a good kid who does what HE wants,and doesn't mindlessly listen and follow other peoples opinions. So keep your hair, and as for the Peewee wiener, just keep your distance and shrug off anything he says, and don't slam anyone infront/behind their backs. Just be cool. And KNOWING you could take that Peewee guy in a fight should be enough. You don't have anything to prove. Peace and good luck with that. Post again, and update us in a few weeks or somthing.
Ignoring them usually takes a long time to have an effect. To vent your frustration, instead of posting it all, try some humor. Light teasing, laughing, and jokes have proved useful to me at school. If they dont get the idea after a good amount of time, then confront them. Blow up in their face if necessary. About the uneeded advice, I've found it best to be courteous about dismissing it. If you dont make a big deal about it, people begin to realize that they are a little too obsessed with it.
Shane:
Welcome to the real world and your fellow mankind. When you choose to wear your hair long you are setting yourself apart from others (remember we're a very small minority). That makes you different, and people are uncomfortable with different. Kids (there may be no meaner lot) can be cruel, mean and degrading. I think it's important for you to ignore them as one of the things they're looking for is the "rise" they get from you. Don't give it to them. And don't stoop to their level by seeing how mean and hurtful you can be toward them. Concentrate on your studies and schoolwork and your future (college, technical school, trade). Afterall, in 7 short months you will probably never see any of these people again, nor will you care to.
Good luck in your longhaired travels.
I don't know what to say about those verbal attacks. Some like "do
you take female hormones to grow that hair" is just so ignorant!!!
As to the unwelcome 'fashion tips'...well...
after that person is finished giving you the 'advice' just
say 'thank you' ...then follow it by saying, "Now, would
you like some advice & tips about YOUR hair?"
They will probably say NO thanks...and may decide never to
offer you such suggestions in the future.
Good Luck! and don't get too angry...because that usually ends in disaster.
Here is an example to the effect of what I might say in confrontation with people like that. I would get together with these guys and ask a few calm, mature question:
"You know, I wonder something. Do you guys have nothing better to do with your lives than to pick at people who are different than you. You know, I actually can't help but hold sincere pitty for people like you, because you obviously have no meaning or direction in life. No ambitions other than mindless ignorance that is geared to hurt others. It's not I who has the problem here. Hair is only a part of the body that I choose to grow long as a personal preference because I have a grip on what I want to do with my life and where I want to go. It is you guys that need the real help with your mentalities and meaning for existance on this earth. As far as I can tell so far, your pretty much just taking up space, and it is totally up to you to change that and prove to yourselves that you're actually worth something other than being an annoyance to people around you. Step back a moment and really think about it! Lifes way to short to waste like you guys are doing so far."
Then smile and just walk away. Maybe they will think about what you said, maybe they won't. At least you proved to be the mature and most educated individual of the group. Peace!
For some boneheads, anything with more than five words, or with any words of more than one syllable, won't sink in. For them, they get the sentence, "What's it to you?" Since you don't expect an answer and want to make that clear, once you say it, you slowly look away, turn away, and walk away. If they say anything after that (usually they won't), just ignore them, because that is what your walking away said you would do.
Treyn buddy,
I do not see that by saying what you wrote, would have our little brother appear to be more mature. I felt strong emotions in reading your response and although emotions are good to have, they are wrong to use in discussions. Open-minded and Critical Thinking would be expected from both sides.Telling them that they are a "waste of space" is not acting mature. You have to keep angry emotions out of it. This only adds fuel to the already existing fire. You cannot solve problems, if your adding new ones.
Ya, since males tend to have significantly more hair growing on their bodies than females it would be quite a leap in logic to accuse a man of taking female hormones (do you suppose they know what those are and that men also have those in their bodies) because he has more hair than other guys.
I have never once even recieved a dirty look because of the length of my hair. Maybe people in college are just more accepting. At the very least, I must say I must congratulate you on your perseverance. Sounds like you didn't even once concidder cutting your hair. Way to be stubborn brother. As far as the bullying, you've just got to ask yourself "are they worth the effort?".
well dude you got 2 options:
1.You can ignore them, which would be the best way,but the taunting will NOT STOP.
2. Or you can decide to kick everyones ass that has always teased you about your long hair. Maybe then it will stop once and for all.
Personally I wouldnt judje a person because of their hair length?!
What is this world coming to.
My advice is to talk to your school's vice principal. Tell him or her about the harassment you are experiencing. If your school's vice principal does not have the sense to take some sort of action, recommend that he/she speak to those who violate you with threats of permanent suspension if they do not cease their behaviour immediately. If he/she does not do anything about your case, contact your police department and have them deal with your school since the authority at your school is not doing its job to maintain a safe working environment for its students. Do not merely give up if your school looks the other way or tells YOU to take action into your own hands if addressing your discontent to the purpotrators directly was not enough to get them to stop.
Unfortunately in today's society, kids are crueler than adults when it comes to differences. I honestly believe the only way to stop someone from making cruel comments is to find out first why he/they are making them. We can already establish that your long-hair has an effect on him because long-hair on men is rare or the minority....different. He could be jealous of your hair or the fact your parents allow you to gorw your hair long and his parents may not or he does not have the inner strength to grow his out. He could be insecure with himself and needs someone else to re-direct the attention to. There could be various reasons. You could also simply ignore him...I mean, yes it is verbal abuse, but no physical harm is being committed. Pretending someone does not exist can sometimes back someone off, especially if you do not care. He doesn't get the full satisfaction if you do not care. Then it just becomes old and he will find someone else to re-direct the attention to.
I wish you success with whatever decision you choose.
Hi Shane!
I have to ask, in what part of the country do you live? It's been my experience that the region of the U.S. in which a person lives has a lot to do with the mentality of its inhabitants and the way they react to the appearances of others. I live in Memphis, and have been a longhair since high school. Although I was an oddball in high school (and still am, at age 23 ;D), I was never teased for having long hair, and have encountered only a scant few who have any issue with my hair, even when it's in braids.
In the meantime, just play off anything that they say, and don't give them the satisfaction of letting them get to you. Do your parents back you up on this one? Worst case scenario, if they do pull something like a forced haircut, report it to the principal, and if that fails, report it to the police, since it IS assault.
Always remember to take the high road. It may not seem like it now, but high school will be over with before you know it, and then it will be mostly a blur. Trust me on this one. You can still be nice to your bullies- just wave at them as they ride the short bus home. ;D
Hang tight, brother.
That sucks man, its tough in school, I was bullied too and not just about my hairstyle... been the only guy in the class who actually wanted to be in class kinda made me unpopular.
I kicked the crap out of everyone who gave me stick, if they were smaller than me and I went 12 rounds with all the one's bigger than me, I got the nickname "Psycho," (which I liked cos it sounded dangerous). Basically everyone mostly left me alone cos there were easier pickings in the playground, but when you get to that stage life tends to get very very lonely. So I don't recommend it.
I guess I'd try asking yourself what they hope to acheive with their name calling? They certainly can't expect after all this time to persuade you to get a hair cut. It seems obvious to me they are doing it to get a rise out of you.
If you remove the entertainment factor from their bullying it'll diminish or dissapear completely. So don't react, or if you do react make it so mundane or boring that they tire of it.
Just say something like: "My Hair my life." and walk away ignore their chantings. You can add an insult to end if you feel you must but don't give it emphasis otherwise it'll be interpretted as a rise.
Bottom line, don't get upset, otherwise you've giving them the entertainment they want.
Good Luck
Sorted
..........Clippers, yes, I have some of those (sinister laugh)! But I use them to cut flesh not hair......I'll see you around, clip, clip!