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The family's on my case again. And wants me to cut today. So, I guess my goal of getting waist length hair will not come true this time around. Oh well.
-J
John, I thought you were outta there a long time ago.... ?
-Zorba
Zorba, 'fraid not. The idea of a computer job hasn't cropped up for me yet. Gonna be settling for Home Depot. Then again, even if I was out on my own, they'd still try to control my lifestyle. My sister is the main culprit... Wants me to be how I was 15 years ago. When I was extremely depressed...
-J
My mother wanted me to get mine trimmed yesterday. Unless you absolutely must, or unless you unknowingly want to, I'd not let one hair of yours touch the floor of a barber shop. Unless you can find a stylist you trust to cut of a very small amount to neaten your hair to your family's liking, of course.
Hope this helped,
Jesse
I'm nearly convinced this is a troll. I, like Zorba, recall John saying he'd been free from the parents from some time now.
If it really is you John, I'd fight hard to keep the hair. I know you've been screwed out of it in the past, so I sincerely hope you aren't forced to do anything you don't want to.
Good luck and keep us updated.
- Brian
Brian, it is me. I never was able to move out. I've agreed only to cut 2" off. Mainly to neaten things up. But that's it. I'll leave it at that length until I am earning enough money to pay for an apartment. After that, I am growing it to where I want it.
-J
Been there, done that. Finally got my own house and told the
family if they don't like it, the door is over there. The complaints
ended.
booya, nick! *high 5* ^_^
not hard
I would suggest to you to outright tell your parents that you want it long, and that it's your hair, not theirs. However, just take them aside and talk calmly with them: screaming will get you nowhere.
However, it is also worth mentioning that something like hair (which you will always be able to grow out later on in life) is not worth as much as your relationship with your parents. Don't alienate yourself from your family over something like this.
Just my advice.
That "Ball" Guy
that can only lead to them controlling other aspects of your life
i suggest you NOT cut it no matter what, and on the other hand of ThatBallGUys comment, " is also worth mentioning that something like hair (which you will always be able to grow out later on in life) is not worth as much as your relationship with your parents. ", can be said the other way around
your hair shouldn't be that big of a deal to your parents
they sound very controlling
John, it's not really my parents who are at the crux of this. But, I do come from a rather religious right-wing family. I just don't prefer to look the part. More like my sister, who is only 3.5 years older than me, but seeks to "protect" me from any harm and, unfortunately, tends to try to control my life. Don't worry, I won't have short hair when I'm finished, just will have the length pictured in the response to Brian. Currently, my hair is about 2-3" longer than that. But, all I really care is if I can still get it into a decent 'tail for when I need it out of my way, right now.
-J
I have found this to be true with my wife. Very hard to get her to understand why I want to grow out my hair. I think it is a control issue, as well.
I wouldn't let them boss me around when it comes to how I choose to wear my hair.............but then again I don't have to live with them. Even though living in their house, I really think you DO have certain rights however. (My opinion only.) Anyway, perhaps you could try this? Show them a picture of Jesus. (I have yet to see an Artists depection of him with a "Buzz-Cut" to date.") Just show the picture and say nothing. If they don't get the point then they never will. Bet you have never told them when they should get a haircut. Well, tit for tat! Good Luck with this situation.
Agreed. I think it has a lot to do with my sister's insecurity about things. She's definitely one to say "what do other people think?", when no one cares. She also doesn't like my wearing a kilt. Thinks it's for special occasions only, and that I'm odd for thinking that it is just another piece of clothing to wear, just like a pair of jeans, etc... Needless to say, my time living at home is going to be curtailed sometime in the near future. I seriously need my independence.
-J
Hi John,
Boy, do I ever know where you are coming from on that one:"What do other people think." Some people are just so hung-up on that one.......when really, for the most part you cannot stop ANYONE from thinking...........unless "Brain Dead" I suppose. I had one even worse in my family who was always worried: "I wonder what they are thinking!" Sounds like you have the whole matter solved for the most part. Just remember, with people like that, one is ALWAYS in an "ALL LOSE MODE." No matter what you do, even cut your hair.........there STILL will be something. Since you plan on independence (whew) anyway, over my dead body would I have my hair sheared-off to please someone who will simply never be pleased no matter what and will continue (perhaps in your case) of being annoyed at "what will people think of your new haircut!" Mind you, your Sister cannot help her "condition," but still, you are your own person and deserve every right to wear your hair however you want. By the way.........I'm shooting for waist length too. The whole thing is fun, feels good, looks good and is of no harm to the world........in fact, when you think of it, Nature has deemed necessary for Men to have Long Hair. Nature has to have had a reason, for she is just to perfect. So.......GO FOR IT AND LET IT GROW! :-) All the best-
Thanks for the thoughts, Justin...Once I get out of this heckhole, I'll be much happier about my life.
-J
My heart goes out to you John, can't understand why anyone would seek to control such an externally insignificant part of your life like that.
Sure hair can mean a lot to person wearing it, but to most other people how can it hurt?
I mean if it really embarrasses them, your parents and sister don't have to hang out with you right? What are they worried about? What people will say in Church?
I know you've made some references to why they seek to protect you, but I don't think that's the reality - I think they have their own insecurities they need to get over.
Only an outside perspective, can't claim to be right about this, but I fail to see why anyone else would care about your hair unless they are genuinely worried about how it would reflect on them. No-one in my experience is that protective, otherwise no parent would send their kid to school in glasses!
Just my £0.02
Thanks, man...
Won't hurt anyone, unless I happened to do something really moronic and stuck my head into machinery with it loose. Nothing that I'd do, though.
Agreed. The funny thing, tho, we don't actually go to church.
Again, agreed. It is their problem. They think I need to cut, just to get a job. Uh-uh. I've seen longhairs @ Microsoft.
LOL, yep.
-J
P.S. In any case, I better get going to have it trimmed. I'll have to live with the mistake for a while until I'm on my feet again and working. *shrug* oh well.
In any case, I better get going to have it trimmed. I'll have to live with the mistake for a while until I'm on my feet again and working. *shrug* oh well.
NO!!!!
Well OK - if its a tidy-up trim fair enough but don't let them hack off the length, tell the stylist that you want to keep growing and just to take off the ends.
I know you want a Job, but in IT its not really a big barrier. You can make tidy long hair look really presentable just by brushing it before you go for an interview, ponytails or half tails can work too.
And have you considered that if you get a job with short hair, the dress code might prevent you from growing it, whereas if you hired with long hair then you can expect to keep it!
Again - Just my $0.02
Gonna take some time and my living alone to do it, though. Before this afternoon, had a 14" long pony and hair that was all one length. Now, have chin length bangs, layered back that extends to about mid-neck, and a 1" stub if I tie back everything that fits into the hair tie. So, it's shorter than the April 2002 trim. In fact, it's a lot like the one I got right before I joined the board on Feb 13th, 2001. Just longer bangs.
-J
OK you made quite a sacrifice. But it doesn't sound like its too bad its still long right? Or longish?
Good luck man
Yeah, it's kinda longish. Looks long from the front, but quite short from the back. My first job interview was at a computer shop in Seattle where there's a guy with a waist-length 'tail... So, there is hope. There's also no dress code. They were perfectly happy to see me show up in a kilt, so, might be able to wear what I damn well please.
-J
Well, if it was me I'd tell sis to get a life. She isn't worrying about you, she's being controlling.
When people tell me what to do with my life, I tend to point out some things in THEIR lives that I feel could be changed. hehehe Hence, I've always been the "black sheep" of the family.
They don't bother telling me what to do and I'm happy with that. If I want their guidance, I ask for it. If they get a bee in their bonnets and tell me what they feel I should do without my asking, I normally make it a point to do the opposite (Or, depending on my mood at the time, my finger flies into someones face and obscenities fly from my mouth).
Ah, there was a time when I was quiet and shy. I followed everyone's instruction without question. I grew up really fast. Those days ended in my teen years. My poor family didn't know what hit them. LOL
Sherri, you've hit it on the nose. I live with control freak in the bedroom next door. I really should point out all of her problems next time she starts harping about something. Good fer you. I'm slowly getting the hang of doing the same. In my case, my days of being an introvert are pretty much over. I'm going to do what I darn (trying to keep this forum family-friendly, but not my family - hehe) well please.
-J