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I am so INTENSELY frustrated by my thick hair. I want to let it grow out long enough so that I can keep it neat by tieing it up in back. But I am also looking for work, and I want very badly to keep my hair while working. Common wisdom says I must cut the hair before going for a job interview, but I don't want to do that for the above stated reason, and also because it would be dishonest to cut it for the interview and then begin to grow it back while on the job. I want the interviewer to be aware of the fact that he is hiring a long haired male.
It is now down to the middle of the back of my neck, with the sides long enough to match. The front is shorter, down to my mouth if I pull it forward. Last night I experimented with tying it with a Scunci plastic band. I got it all wet and managed to get the ends tied in the center after about 15 tries. The "ponytail" was a small tuft of hair between 3/8 inch and 1.25 inch long. As time went on, the band slipped down about 3/4 inch, so that some hair was spilling out the sides. So it's not near long enough to tie yet. I figure at least another two months.
There is a job fair I can go to on Monday. I want to go, but I don't know how to keep my hair under control. I would be very self-conscious about it if I can't keep it neat. If the subject of a haircut comes up in an interview, the right thing to say is that the important thing is maintaining a professional appearance, so I'll discuss hair styles instead of length. But I cannot use that approach if I am unable to keep my hair styled!
I have been trying various mousses, waxes, creams and gels - but nothing seems to work. I have also tried not using shampoo and letting my natural scalp oil keep my hair down. It works for a while, but after sleeping on it I have to rinse in water to "re-shape" it - then my hair fluffs up again and curls up at the ends - and brushing has no effect. Today I tried a new gel from Fantastic Sams. I washed using Liggett's bar shampoo, toweled dry, then applied the gel. It got absorbed before I got to the ends so I used a little more. I combed downwards on each side and let it air dry. It appeared to be working at first (before it all dried out) although some of strands were clumping together. Now, about five hours later, my hair is sticky to the touch but is not sticking together. At the top of my head it is gelled, but at the sides and back it is very bushy with the ends curling up. It looks and feels horrible.
I don't want to use mousse to paste all my hair down into a "helmet" like I used to, because it is uncomfortable, it doesn't last all day, and with the long ends in back - it won't look neat anyway. To avoid looking like a freak around the house I am wetting it all down every half hour and getting that sticky gel crap on my hands.
I don't know anything about hair clips, bands or pins, and I can't afford to pay a stylist for advice. What I want is something that wets down my hair like water does, does not dry out, and is water soluable so I can rinse it out without using detergents. Is there some hair product like that? If so, what is it called and where can I get it? Maybe some kitchen product like cooking oil? Please help me, I am getting desperately close to that dreaded haircut. This is my second attempt to let my hair grow, but I had to cut it off last time because I could not figure out how to resolve this problem.
That you must cut your hair before a job interview is not "common wisdom" but a "common misconception", if you want to have long hair in the end. Why? Because the experience of other longhairs has been that it is far tougher to grow your hair out, if they hired you shorthaired, than it is to retain it, if they hired you longhaired. They will think, "If he could stand being shorthaired for the interview, why not now?" You have the right idea in mind in your last sentence above, wanting them to know the truth about you from the outset. That is good, because few succeed attempting the dishonesty route. Why should they grant someone perceived as dishonest, much slack?
As for dealing with the hair now, have you considered a hat of some kind? A beret perhaps, or other hat that is suitably stiled to the environment in which you are going to work? Some bald men take to wearing a hat everywhere they go. There is no reason you can't do that until the awkward phase passes its peak and becomes more controllable by other means.
You're right of course, that is what I meant. I should have put common "wisdom" in quotes.
I don't generally wear hats - I have tried in the past and I am not comfortable in them. Also they tend to fall off, and it's hard to find a hat that is my size (7 3/4). Besides, my problem is more the sides and back of my hair, not the top.
I don't like to use chemicals or hairdryers on my hair, but in my experimenting I am finding some success in using a fancy gel when my hair is wet and then blow drying.