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Hello. I have been reading this message board for the last 12 months, during which time I have not had my hair cut (always worn my hair short before). I probably stopped cutting my hair because I wanted a change and liked how long hair looked on other guys. I have thick, curly hair, by the way.
Anyway, here's my point. With everybody around me saying "cut your hair", it's very hard for me to know how I really feel. And when I say everybody...I mean EVERYBODY (wife, friends, family). I realize that for me to be able to see if I really like my hair long, it will be another 12 months, at least. I know I should just ignore everybody's opinions and pressures, it just gets hard to sometimes. And if I cut my hair, I don't want to regret all the time I've put into the process.
I know none of you can make the decision for me, I was just hoping somebody had some wisdom for me.
Thanks, Tim
I was just hoping somebody had some wisdom for me.
I can't guarantee wisdom, but here are some thoughts.
If you have not cut your hair for a year, you will have survuvued the worst of the 'awkwar stage' at which your hair looks untidy rather than long. From now on, it should start to look long, and, for those who like long hair, it will start to look good.
My advice is always to be yourself. It's hard, though, to know if you are continuing to grow it because you want to, or because you don't want to give in to pressure. so, how do you know what you are underneath the skin?
Look at an old photo of yourself with short hair - do you want to look like that again? If not, then you are fundamentally a longhair in your mind's eye and should be one in reality. If you feel you look OK with short hair, then maybe you're not really a longhair at heart.
Hope that helps!
It's all about the way you deal with such pressures. How do you handle other personal decisions in your life when people are putting forth their opinion about it?
In this kind of instance, if you replace "hair" with something else it may clear up how to deal with other people's opinions...or at least show if others are applying undue pressure to this one thing. And if they ARE applying extra pressure because it's about hair then their attempts to get you to do what they want should just be ignored outright. It's your decision, not theirs.
Tim, After a year of hair growth it's unlikely, if you cut it that you'll ever be motivated to grow it back...I've taken the last year and a bit to get BACK to the stage I was at last year when I rushed off to the Barbers without thinking things through. Hey, I know you want your hair to look better than it does right now, and I keep contemplating getting a Layne Staley-esq short cut, but after all this time you may as well just hang in there until you've at least got to the tie-back stage...
I've regretted it every time I've hacked my hair off...
Talk to your family and communicate to them what you are doing and why you are doing it. Ask them for a little support as you would support any of them with any goals they are trying to accomplish. Ask them to be open-minded with your decision to grow out your hair and let them know that you are curious as to what your hair will look like long. Let them know if they don't already, there is an awkard stage to get through. I doubt that you tell your wife how she should wear her hair and you should be able to respect the same from her.
Personally, I talked to my wife before growing my hair out to let her know what I am planning to do. She honestly thought I would give up within a year nd is shocked I have made it this far. Through the awkard stage, she hated my hair. Today, she has a different opinion about it. Not only has time changed the length of my hair, but it has changed others opinions as well. There are those who probably still do not like my hair long. None of these people cannot tell me what they dislike about it, besides it being to long. Being to long is not good enough of an answer and is an "empty opinion". With me, the amount of people that love my hair and how it looks on me, far outweigh those who do not like my long hair on me.
Seriously though, talk with your family and any friends that are important in your life.
Yeah, its tricky to get any kind of support out of people. Thought I've found its much easier to get people onside when you tell them what you are trying to acheive. Do your wife and friends know you want longhair? Because if they don't your years grow won't look like progress, it'll look like untidyness.
Once people know what your trying to acheive they'll see it from your perspective. If your wife has or has had longhair then she could be the perfect person to help with the styling and growing of your hair.
If you involve in the process, she'll probably give you a lot more support.
I'd say stick at it, thought I'm an advocate of maintenance trims to keep style. Nevertheless if you quit now you'll proabably never know, just get the necessary support network around you and keep going forward. If you ever need additional moral support just post to the board we'll do our best to give a lift!
Thanks for all the support! I'll post a picture soon (isn't that what everybody says?) Maybe that feedback will help encourage me, as well.
Tim
I gave in to pressure once before, and I cut off my chest length hair before I went into 9th grade (I recently graduated High School). That was probably the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life. Everyone told me to get a short haircut, because it was considered "in style". Yeah, I got my haircut short, and on my first day of high school I noticed that 80-100 different guys had the EXACT same hairstyle as me. I totally regreted cutting my hair off, so I didn't cut my hair for about a year. I had the whole beatles mop top thing going on, and I cut it off AGAIN, due to the fact that I hated the awkward stage. And yet again, I regretted it. At that time I was looking at some previous pictures of me when I had my chest length hair, and I noticed that I looked TONS better with it. Not in opinion, but if you were to look at those pictures of me, you really couldn't argue that I looked better with long hair than with short. I said to myself, "screw getting these clone cuts, I'm growing my hair out again". I started growing my hair long 2 years ago when I entered the 11th grade. By my senior year, I had gotten past the awkward stage, and my hair was close to shoulder length. I was getting compliments on it left and right, due to the fact that I was the only guy in the school who had "nice looking" long hair. Fast forward to today, my hair is basically at the length it was before, and I feel great. I will never EVER cut my hair again, because I know for a fact that I will regret it.
Now, what did that have to do with anything? It's simple really, if you cut it, the regret may be astounding. Think about it before you give in and cut your hair. Even though my hair is healthy looking, I still get the occasional "bad" looks and stares from people. But I don't let it get to me. Why should I have to cut MY hair to please these people?
My advice to you is to maybe think about getting a maintenence cut (at a professional hair stylist). I mean go ALL OUT on it, make it look outstanding, maybe get it straightened or something, and then confront your family. They may very well be surprised with you.
Good luck man, and keep it growing!
I'm a girl and I had looooonnnggg hair and I cut it so short...and I regret it a lot now. Just wash ur hair with healthy shampoo, and condition it...and really don't worry about it. It will grow.
I hope I helped.
Hi there.
I ain't going to say much, all I'm going to say is how I can relate to you.
I feel very strongly about my hair, and I won't take no BS from anyone. If people give me grief, I just ignore them and they don't get to me one bit. Aside from that, theres another reason why I would never cut my hair... actually theres 2 more reasons. 1. I look way better with long hair. I look back to pictures where I had short hair, and I think "Jeez man you look so stupid"... and 2. I know for a fact I would regret it SO much if I cut it. I started growing my hair when I was 17, and I doubt I'll ever cut it to a short length ever again. After putting this much effort into it, sticking out the awkward stage, which I reckon I'll be leaving for good in like 3 months or so, cutting it now would just be such a waste imho.
So my advice to you is... heed the above advice... Don't take crap from nobody. It's your hair, not theirs. If you like your hair long, have it long.
Thanks, man! I liked your no nonsense, cut-to-the-chase attitude!
how old were you when you started growing it ?
I was 17 (more or less just turned 17) I will be 19 in like a week :)
If you cut it, you`re gonna regret it. I did that in 1994 and I live to want it all back, which happened, but cutting it was a bad decision.
Tarikh is correct. For the past four years, I've been in perpetual grow, then cut mode. Not because I wanted to get it cut, but because of family. Hopefully this last time is the last time, since I am getting ready to sprout wings and leave this place.
-J
Don't you feel much better now? I was in that boat a while back. But once you leave the "fuzz ball" part of it and actually start to look like you have long hair things change. If you're anything like me, once you get there you'll know damn well you'll never have your hair short again.
I think Hair Religion made a very strong point. Sometimes there will be other things where the "majority" will disagree, but that shouldn't halt your actions. I know sometimes it's easier said then done, but having the strength and conviction to tread on when the majority thinks otherwise will not only make you achieve your goals with your hair, but with other things in life as well.
Also, the people that are closest to you (friends and family) will most likely end up accepting it. It's new to them right now, but after a while, I wouldn't think they would continue to harp on your hair, much less think about it anymore. At least that's been my experience.
Finally, just keep coming back to this board. By visiting the board and making posts such as the one you started here, you'll hear "the other side [the good side!] of the coin". After hearing "cut your hair", "hippie", "freak", etc. all the time, it's nice to come to this board where you hear "be yourself", "do what makes you happy", "wow, your making great progess", "keep it long", etc.
Stay strong and GROW IT LONG! :)
And whilst we say this to everybody... we actually mean it too!
My long haired friend and I recently were having a discussion about why people always ask him to cut his hair. He takes very good care of himself, and his hair is stunning, not straggly or unkempt or anything. However, he was fired from his job not too long ago simply because the owner didn't like the fact that he had long hair. I think it's appalling, but if I remember correctly from a past discussion on this board, it's also perfectly legal. I don't see what's so threatening about long haired men (except for serving as a major distraction to girls like me ^_^)
I think as long as people are closed minded and stuck in past times where men had to be clean cut and short haired, they will nag you to shear your locks. I am personally as open-minded as you get, and I actually don't care much for the clean cut look. I think what works (and I've probably said it before, excuse me for repeating myself) is just sticking your fingers in your ears, saying "La la la" at the top of your lungs and walk out of the room. Obnoxious, yes, but the people who are bugging you are being obnoxious too. Eventually they will get sick of talking about it and won't ask anymore. It is definitely hard to keep growing your hair when you get no support, but it is so easy to cut off a year's worth of growth. You will regret it immensely, I'm sure. Hang in there, we're here for you!
~Jenn
I know what u feel, I can compare your situation with mine....
I'm vegetarian since I was 17 and it was very hard to stand all your family and friend saying come on! eat meat! what happened to u? are u hippie? religius? what?
I know that any desicion u wanna keep until the end is hard when most of the people think u r wrong? but... who can say who is wrong? that's the way i fill I'd to be..so. that's the way I'm.
Now im 32, still vegetarian, now everybody accept me the way I am. Don't worry.. sooner or later people give up trying to control others lives.
Good luck!
Be strong!