new thread
I want to seek the board's support. I have struggled for 16 years with erotic feelings related to getting haircuts. I am trying to break that addictive nature, so I have made a commitment to StanleyBey on this board. Here it is:
1. No Haircuts/Trims from December 6th-April 30th at least. He will decide when I can get a haircut.
2. Pictures to him showing the haircut growth weekly on Monday.
3. If I get a haircut I have committed a donation of 150.00 to the Men's Long Hair Hyperboard.
Encouragment would be great. Thanks in advance for the help.
Steve
Rather than making a commitment of money I think it's more important that you make a commitment to yourself. Sometimes you will hate your hair. It will do strange things and look weird. For me the most important thing was to just not worry about it. You need the patience and determination to stick with it; and a good hat, don't forget a good hat. Coming from someone who has almost 2 years of growth - I can say I absolutly love my hair now. Letting it grow has been as worth while as anything I've ever done. Now that it's this long, I only want it longer. Oh so much longer. Don't let the bad times get to you, wether they come from yourself or others. It's so worth it.
One more thing. Don't take weekly progress photos, it'll seem like it's taking forever to grow. Try every month or two.
I am somewhere around the two year mark myself and I am amazed when I see pictures of myself one year ago. What I thought then was longish hair looks short to me now! You will get so used to loving your new longer hair that one day you will look in the mirror and realize, Oh my god, my hair really IS long!!!
Take them seasonally...the results will look more dramatic.
Om!
Well Steve
You certainly have my support! Good Luck!
I can't leave this thread without noticing that you made an interesting comment - about "Erotic feelings" related to getting haircuts. Whilst I don't really desire an over-elaborate explanation, I'm curious as to what you mean by that. You also mention an "addictive nature". I'm \ bit confused by the references made.
Like you I've wanted to grow my hair for years as well... Much Like yourself its been something I've been meaning to do for the better part of my life. I also struggled with "addictive" haircuts, mostly because I suffered with OCD. But you comment about Erotic feelings kinda struck a cord in an off beat sort of way... but before I go any further into that - I'd like to make sure it wasn't just a poor choice of word.
Can you explain what you mean?
I would be fairly certain he meant to say "eratic" feeling as opposed to "erotic" :P heh
Should explain -
"Erotic feelings" seemed a little wierd - I wondered as much - Its a strange thing though... I heard a lot of people say how they find long hair a turn on. But what brought this up was a notion someone expressed that they find themselves more or less sexually attractive because of their hair... The point is mute if this was a typo - but I've been reading a physcology thesis for a friend who is making there submissions for a final year project based on this. She is aserting that practically changes we make to our appearance in our late teens early twenties are directly associated with our perceptions of what is sexually attractive.
Her claim basically says I'm growing my hair because I find it attractive on women and I want to find myself more attractive so I follow suit. - I think its a bit off the mark myself. (All rather Dr Freud meethinks...)
Steve is trying to break an unwanted habit of getting haircuts. We won't go into the specifics but this is destructive behaviour for him and it is hurting his spiritutality and general well-being.
He is planning on sending me weekly pictures not as progress pictures but instead showing that he has abstained from getting any haircuts.
Since his hair will be getting longer as the months go by, he has posted here to get support for his oncoming new look.
He has great thick hair and perhaps could use suggestions as the months go by of how to deal with the awkward stage.
Some points I would like to raise based on my own experience of destructive/addictive behaviour (not with compulsive hair-cutting but other addictions):
I think Steve is ill advised to put an 'expiration date' on not having haircuts. This is analagous with a recovering alcoholic saying "I'm not having a drink until April 2004". I know what would happen on 1st April if I said that !
Steve is kind of handing over control of his compulsion to you and making it your responsibility. I would suggest that you give him support in developing his spirituality by sponsoring/mentoring him but not by him giving you control over his haircutting behaviour.
From what Steve has said in his original post - especially having used the word 'erotic' in connection with haircuts - he may require sex-counselling or help with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. A 12 Step programme may be the right track (although I think I read somewhere that Jehovah's Witnesses aren't too keen on them - I may be wrong).
Hope this helps.
Laurence
BTW - My own feeling is that some of us on this board (myself included) are a tad obsessive about our hair. For me, it's a benign obsession so I'm OK with it.
12 step programs aren't the answer.
They do exactly the same thing that you said not to do.. Hand control over to someone else (in this case god.) They say that you should admit that you are powerless over your addiction and to look for answers from the outside.
It's better to look inside YOURSELF to find the courage to overcome addictive behavior.