Thanks for all your input in my post below. I know that my fetish seems weird to some of you. It is weird to me and that's why I am trying to battle through it. I am in counseling. I have a great respect for Stan but am not J.W. I am a Christian though who struggles in understanding this haircut fetish.
One of the goals of my post was not to focus on my past but to focus on the future. The goal of growing my hair out and being happy, satisfied with it longer. As I break the barrier of April and move beyond I am hoping that I will have confidence to continue to grow it.
One of the problems in growing my hair is its thickness. It looks like a helmet, afro, a Gia Pet item when it grows out. I look forward to your encouragement and support to help me move beyond April.
Thanks and look forward to growing it.