new thread
Yes I did write misguided.
From watching the CNN I don't know how you can possibly teach your son a good lesson by taking him out of school and transferring. Sure, you are allowed to do this, but I think it sounds like a lousy message to send to your son.
First, how do you know that Jesus had long hair? Sure, SOME pictures show him depicting long locks, but truthfully does anybody know the full truth. We do not have a definitive description, so to say this is the way is was is wrong.
Second, how can you possibly place acting over education. This is doing a disservice to your son by "teaching" him the kind of lesson. Acting is good, but being uneducated is one of the worst catastrophe you can have.
Third, to have your son leave a situation he does not like teaches him this lesson for life. "When the going gets tough, leave!" Be careful, I think this is terrible
Fourth, putting you son's hair in a bun is a good idea. Being worried that it looks like a girl is something that you should is normal. However, if your son is comfortable now with long hair, then he should be comfortable having it up. To make such a big deal over this is stupid and immature.
Fifth, you and your wife using your child to climb on in to easy living with acting is down right wrong and unbelievable. Using some little thing for a publicity stunt, like someone else alluded to, it wrong as well.
I think you should seriously consider what you are doing and why you are doing it. I think you might find out that you are not presenting a very good image of yourself.
1. I am not taking my son out and transferring. The school returned his readmission application certified mail, return receipt requested (I can resubmit it when Brandon "conforms"). Since his education is first and foremost, I have enrolled him in another, more tolerant (private) school as a back-up (by the way, I work hard to put him in private school - this stuff isn't free). AND, CNN wanted to film him on Friday at 10:00 AM. I explained to CNN that Brandon had to go to school and asked if we could do it after school. They understood and actually revised their schedule to Brandon's needs. (Notice in the interview you see Brandon getting off the bus and coming home).
2. Don't believe everything you hear in the media. Brandon is taking acting classes (1 day = 1hr per week) because HE truly loves it. He has no agents, etc. - he just has a NATURAL ability to ham it up. If an agent did pick him up and he could get a roll if he cuts his hair - ITS BRANDON'S DECISION WHETHER TO TAKE THE ROLL OR NOT! I cannot force a 5 year roll to act, and especially if he's not comfortable with his look. He has to do that on his own.
Brandon is also taking Ninjitsu lessons (3 days = 3hrs per week), but that point doesn't make good negative press (Its the school that is trying to make us look like "you know who" type parents). Touche'. I am just as guilty. I brought Jesus' picture into this because I am fighting an episcopal (religious) school. Truthfully, the length of Jesus' hair is irrelevant. My son did not grow his hair long because of Jesus. He grew it long because he likes it that way (and he does get a lot of attention because of it).
3. "When the going gets tough, leave" - where did this come from? It would have been easier to just cut his hair! I could write a book about how difficult it is to fight for your rights (but we'll leave that for your next piece - "Brandon's father writes a book - coming to a bookstore near you!)" I am teaching my son to fight for his rights and what he believes in.
4. No comment about the bun. Brandon doesn't like the way it looks on him, and that is enough for me (I refer you back to the CNN interview).
5. I wrote to this board because MANY of you have had long hair for years and know the ins + outs of what my family is up against. My hair has only been "long" for about 3 1/2 years - I TRULY started from a MILITARY hair cut when Brandon was born (remember the Gulf War?).
6. Children are a gift from God. We as parents have the pleasure of enjoying them for 18+/- years, teaching them right and wrong, and then giving them back to the world. If, after your parenting is done (and its never truly done), your child is a better person then you are, then you have accomplished a harder "job" than putting John Glenn on the moon. I'm not perfect - I'm just trying to do my "job" the best way I can - and loving every minute of it!
- Brandon's Dad
P.S. - My wife and I wouldn't have appealled to the expertise of this site if we weren't commited to this fight for the long run. Our many thanks to those of you who have written to us here and at our e-mail site. The battles we've lost as adults may be more easily won by an innocent 5 year old. Remember David & Goliath? God bless, and best of luck to all of you in your individual battles.
I have been quietly following this story, both in the media and on this forum. The relevant portions of my background are that I am a father, I have long hair, and I was raised in the Episcopal Church (although today finds me an ordained Deacon in the Presbyterian Church).
You aren't doing anything that my wife and I wouldn't do, despite the odds. I suspect that you knew going into this that you were up against the proverbial immovable object, at least from a legal perspective. What you have done is sparked a lively national debate and given people a reason to think about an issue which thus far they have managed to overlook. To this extent, it cannot be said that you haven't won the war despite the loss of the battle.
"Diversity" is the buzzword of the '90s. In terms of practical application, it intends to "include" people whose "differences" are issues relating to their birth, i.e. race, nationality, and even sexual orientation. Diversity, at least in practice, does NOT intend to include matters of personal choice, such as appearance or cosmetic differences from those in the perceived mainstream. Now we are asking ourselves why this is so, and is it good or bad.
There's so much more I have to say in support of your family, but it's time to go collect my short-haired son from handbell practice out at church. He's also in karate three days a week, plays all sports, has Boy Scouts, and, like Brandon, wants to take acting lessons. Oh yeah, he's also a straight-A student. And if he wants to grow his hair long, anyone who has a problem with that had better realize they have to go through me first.
God Bless.
I saw the news clip and to be honest I think there is a very wrong message being sent here.
First its a private school and private schools can make rules.Get a life .... second if they offered a simple condition to allow him to keep his hair long by putting it up in back..... again it was a resolution yet you want to now make the rules yet deny them any capicity to do the same.
It is not the issue of the hair at all ,to you it's sending the same message so many send today............take em to court .....
I think its the parents that need the lesson in this issue, and they are about to get one.
Unfortunately, I was unable to watch the CNN report, so I don't know what was said regarding the acting and so forth, but I found the above sparking a reaction in me. What is your idea of a good lesson if a school is asking you to cut your hair off and you don't want to? Is your answer to this okay and proceed to whack off your hair or find an somewhere else that will give you the education you want plus accept you for who you are? As a parent, if a school came to me saying that my son's hair needed to be cut in order for them to teach him, I'm gonna tell them of a uncomfortable hot place they can go and yes, he would be transferred. No court case and no sweat off my back. I wouldn't waste my time with such foolishness. In fact, he wouldn't even have set foot in the school in the first place because I would know what they stand for before my kid sits down at a desk.
As far as "When the going gets tough, leave!" Well, sometimes you have to leave. What would you do in a situation like this? Your only recourse would be to do what they say, so I guess you would have short hair by now unless you want to go through the time and expense of a legal battle and for what? A person has to pick their battles and as a parent, this is one of the important rules in life you learn. Sometimes you have to fight and sometimes you just have to pick up and move on to better pastures. That is the lesson I will pass on to my daughter is to follow her heart and know when she needs to stand up for her rights regardless of the outcome or when she just needs to walk away. People may think this is cowardice, but I have always found myself in a much better situation than if I had stayed and fought. Like life telling you there is something better for you than the place you are in. These situations have nothing to do with goings getting tough, its about choices and what's it worth to the people involved.
Good fortune to you,
Chaeya
Honestly, I have only just recently heard about this whole "scandal," if you will. I am only eighteen years old and am still a senior in high school. I don't even have extremely long hair (yet, it's about 2 1/2 inces below my earlobes). I've never had children, so I don't know what its like being a parent, but this can't be easy for Brandon's parents. What they need is support and understanding, not criticism from others. They are doing the best for their child that they can.
Granted, private schools have the right to make rules concerning appearance, but parents have the right to avoid those that make rules against hair. (Note, however, that I believe that rules concerning hair length are absurd. Hair is not gender-specific.) If the child doesn't want to wear his hair up, he shoudn't have to.
As for the idea that Jesus had long hair, we don't know that he did, but we don't know that he DIDN'T either. From a historical standpoint, until the early 18 hundreds, men had long hair more often than not.
Finaly, the parents are to be applauded for giving their child the freedom and responsibility to choose how to wear his hair. If it's different, then there will be obstacles to get around. They are also teaching him how to get around them. The answer to life is not to follow along like sheep, nor is it to bang your head against the brick wall of adversity in an attempt to get through it. Successfull people know how to circumvent obstacle.
I shall now step down from my soap box.
Luke
Perhaps Disbelief is writing from experience. Judging from his typos and syntax, he must have left school early in life as well. But that's just being petty. So sorry.
Although I missed the televised CNN interview, I did read the online account. I did not come away with the feeling that Brandon's parents were or are misguided, but rather they are teaching him a very valuable lesson: to stand up for what you feel is right, even when it becomes hard, and if it may make you unpopular.
Sure, in the greater scheme of things, it's only hair. Brandon's hair could be cut, and he could remain in the school that is trying to force his conformity to an old fashioned, right-wing, and in my opinion, misguided concept of hair length equalling level of moral rectitude.
As far as Jesus having long hair or not, what does it matter what he really looked like when so many people accept depictions of him as having long hair. We admire him, and aim to emulate him, but scorn anyone who dares to wear their hair in a style we attribute to him.
It is absolutely ludicrous to believe that Brandon's having long hair is going to disrupt the classroom, or that he will look sloppy if his hair falls past his coller, or that he will become a 'scofflaw', a deviant, or a juvenile delinquent if he has a ponytale.
By cutting his hair, and giving in to the school's demands, Brandon's parents would be reinforcing these stupid notions, and continue the stereotype.
Bravo to Brandon, and his parents. You have my support.
Oh, gee, a typo. There goes my credibility.