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Yesterday was terrible, my mom totally deceived me about getting a trim. It turned into one of the worst haircuts I've ever gotten. It really sucks when you are 20 and your parents still bitch to you about having your hair too long and not being neat. I don't know what it is with Asian parents but I have talked with some of my other Asian friends and almost all of them have short hair because their parents make them get haircuts; it's like they basically have no say in it. Well what basically happened was that my mom had been pressuring me for weeks to get my hair trimmed which I didn't think was long at all. It was only around 10 inches long all around at most. The longest parts were my bangs which were around my chin area. When my mom and I got to the barber shop, my mom wouldn't leave but stayed. I told the barber to just trim my hair one inch but then my mom told the barber to cut my hair short in chinese. I tried to protest but the barber didn't listen and only listened to my mom. It was already too late when the barber had already snipped off like 7 inches of my hair in the front. After the haircut I felt awful and wanted to throw up, the worst part was when I complained to my mom that she had deceived me about just getting a trim and not a full haircut she retorted with it was your decision and then she completely denied telling the barber that she wanted my hair cut short. Right now I just see my mom as being a huge bitch and I've totally lost my trust in her, even though I maybe could have expected something bad to happen since I should have just avoided getting any length cut from my hair, I still don't think I should have been deceived and lied to. Right now, I'm just feeling really depressed since I was working on growing my hair longer and had been in the process for 7 months since my last cut, now I have to start all over and that just pisses the hell outa me.
Dude, you are 20. You've been of adult age for at least two years. Your parents have no legal dictation over how you wear your hair.
He's not old enough to have graduated from college. I don't know if he works or what his situation is, but he is young enough that he could still be dependent. That makes things hard.
I remember a long time ago my mother asking a friend of hers if she would cut my hair (I wanted a trim at the time). We're not Chinese, but this friend of my mother's was, as it happens. She started showing me magazine photos of girls and asking me which one I would like to have my hair cut like. Then she started saying that if I kept it long I would look like a girl and I should get it cut short to "look like a man". Luckily, we were at her daughter's house, so she didn't have her hairdressing scissors. I never did let her cut my hair.
Wow dude, I can't even imagine what that might have fealt like. I got chills just reading it. I would never be able to trust anyone who would do something like that ever again. All I can say is I am sorry. That's not right. We're here for you man.
Thanks, it's nice to know there are people who care.
Ouch. A word to the wise, it won't stop until you get out on your own. I'm 28 and, as seen by my post on 10/28, I too wound up having my hair cut into one of the worst hairstyles. It was still kinda long in the front, but very layered and short in the back. Having to grow it out again. It's better, but still nowhere near the length it was before the cut. One of the reasons why I am looking for a job and also looking for my own place.
-J
man that is really horrible.. if that happened to me I would go live with my dad or my grandparents. And to think I am going in for a trim on tuesday >.<
I think it is necessary to emancipate from the parents and to get an own life, and if they don't follow it is their problem.
It is not wrong if the new generation would have an better understanding about social behaviour (and maybe this is an request for any kind of evolution) than the old have learned for themselves.
Otherwise they could lose any feelings from their childs that they will need in later years.
For me the hair cut pressure (or even social abuse related to hair), continued forever, but in the later years I didn't listen anymore and the problems changed, they got ill and long hair was not a theme.
I gave up any doubts about it, and so they couldn't find any point to bother me (and I guess this was the thing that they sometimes really wanted, because I escaped completely from their monitoring).
Now my relationship is based on rational thoughts, I think if I can give something that makes my mother joy I will do it, without them I even wouldn't exist.
wolfgang
This would be unacceptable at any age but at 20 it's obscene. Can you imagine what your mother would have done if you had cut off her hair without her permission ? You have been assaulted pure and simple in my opinion. This is an unhealthy controlling relationship and you need to tell your mother exactly how you feel. If she is unwilling to modify her controlling behaviour then you must leave. I would be far happier living in a homeless hostel with my own dignity than living with mommie dearest however comfortable it is. This is nothing to do with hair and everything to do with power. Unless you can be your own person you will not have inner peace.
Rant over ! I wish you good luck and the courage to change this situation. Please let us know what develops.
Jesus christ! I would of probably punched both of them, if it happened to me.
First things first, keep calm. Get a plan. Don't be put off growing it again. If anyone asks why it's short, tell them you were decieved, or you'd rather not talk about it.
Second, keep out of your mother's way, for a very long time. Don't talk to her at all for at least a year, and when that passes, just say minimal stuff like "yes", "no" etc. This SHOULD make her realise how completely unfeeling and insensative she is. You could get even somehow, by shaving chunks out of her hair while she sleeps, and when she wakes up, simply say "We're even.". Yeah. That's what I'd do (I'm serious).
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JoNty