new thread
Please, nobody take this the wrong way, because this is not directed at anybody in particular. I'm more "thinking out loud" than "Chewing people out" as well as trying to encourage thought and discussion.
The subject is: contentment with one's hair.
Maybe it's just me, but it seems like nearly every other topic thread here is about how to change what you were born with. Instead of straightening, curling, dyeing, burning, boiling, molesting(ok, maybe not that one), your hair, how about just letting it grow (maintain it with good quality shampoo and conditioner and trims where necessary), and just let it go "naturally" and enjoy the compliments! There's a lot of people trying to "get" a certain hairstyle (mainly styles worn by celebrities), when their own hair has its own style! Like that whole "no two fingerprints are the same" story, it's the same with your hair! Glory in what Nature/God/Gaia/mum-&-dad/Zarathustra/whoever-you-believe-in gave you.
My hair is almost painfully curly. I sometimes wonder if my mom had an affair with someone of African descent, but it is MY hair, and I wouldn't trade it for anyone elses. Same thing goes for the growth rate. Redleader's hair grows insanely fast (by my perception, but I also realize that proportion has something to do with it), but my hair grows at the speed that it grows, because this is the speed it was MEANT to grow.
Before changing what you were born with, do some serious soul-searching and see if you want the spiritual journey of long hair, or just another "style" which will change with the times.
Just my thoughts, take them with a grain of salt.
That "Ball" Guy
What you say makes sense - but maybe if we were all content with everything about our hair, we wouldn't need this board!
In one sense this board is for helping guys with questions or problems with their hair but that is not nearly the only reason people come to this board. For guys who have one of those really difficult hair types this may be their main reason for frequenting the board but not for many others. I think that this is why people start to groan when we keep seeing the same hair-help questions filling the board, because we all aren't here to repetitively deal with the same questions. You may have noticed that some guys will answer these questions for awhile and then let others deal with them for a time.
ROTFL! *I* do that! LOL!!
There was a time when I often tried to reply to every request for advice and offer answers to frequently asked questions. I've since become very selective in what posts I respond to.
True this! But there'd also be more room for discussion of the philosophical/spiritual facets of long hair (I bet Hair Religion would like that!)
P.S. Moderator(s), after the Christmas break I was considering writing a glossary of sorts (e.g. what are bangs? What is terminal length etc. . .) to cut down on some of the constantly repeating threads. Just wondering if you'd approve it. e-mail me if you want to discuss it further
Got one almost done that will go up on my site (if you can wait).
Sweetness, save me the trouble!
i think it's just part of the human condition to want what you don't have.
Very true "As a rule, man's a fool, when it's hot he wants it cool. . "
Very true, I've always said that longhair isn't for everyone. Sometimes it's hairtype that decides for people (at least if it makes your life more difficult than you care for).
One of the characteristics of long hair is that it's a part of you that you are letting grow and like you it's going to be at least somewhat unique if not completely. If you imitate some other person's style and it takes some doing to get it that way then it will continually take that much work to keep it that way until you stop and relapse into "you" again.
I'm actually agreeing with you for once!
Ya dirty, rotten heathen! ;)
The hair is somewhat as clothes... One day you might want to dress a certain way to express your mood for that day, another day you want to dress different. The way you dress often changes and develops during the years. You wair your hair to fit your personality and mood. For a couple of years you might feel more "you" wearing it straight. Then you mature/get tired of it, and you want to wair your hair different.
It's not a matter of wearing your hair as is just because you feel yourself in long hair. It is a matter of expressing your personality and mood, and that does not always fit with the way your hair looks naturally.
It should also be noted that sometimes your hair is a really important part of you, but simply look "stupid" without any form of styling... Are you gonna cut it because of that, and feel depressed and not yourself, or simply style it keep the length and feel like yourself?
Things are rarely black and white, not everyone cay say "keep it normal or cut it". My hair is really frizzy and looks stupid if I do not do anything. Still I can't picture myself with short hair, and would probably be very depressed if it got cut... So what do I do? I do whatever I can to get it looking the way I want, and fit my current personality and how I think it looks best...
There is a reason most women don't leave is "as is" after a shower...
I kind of half agree with you on that one.
I'm more into letting it grow its natural way, and keeping it healthy with proper washing and healthy eating, but if you want to change your hair, then I couldn't care less. I know a few other long haired guys who've died their ends etc, and although I'd never do that, it's their hair, so it's their business.
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JoNty
If you had approached me with this 13 years ago, I would've dismissed your opinion outright. However, in 13 years, experience has, indeed, taught me that natural is better. You can spend $$$ on products to try and sculpt your hair into whatever style you admire on someone else, but, then the question is begged: are you really expressing yourself, or simply trying to imitate others?
I'm reminded of the fashion craze Madonna started when she first hit the airwaves. Literally hordes of teenage girls, from all over the country, began dressing like Madonna. They all claimed to be expressing themselves, and that Madonna's music and fashion sense simply helped bring out their inner "Madonna", but to the casual observer it was completely obvious that they were little more products of an unbelievably successsful marketing campaign, and Madonna was sitting proudly behind the wheel.
My hair doesn't look like anyone else's but my own. I couldn't be more content.
You have to realize a few things.....
You've told us that you are a rather tall guy. I'm, however, only 5'6 and have a smaller head. Trust me, that plays a major role in why my hair appears longer.
Also, you had a trim of 4 inches? in the back. I have not. Without any trims, your hair would look a lot longer.
I've been growing for 18 months from .5-2in. at start. My hair is now beween 10 and 12 inches. In 18 months, I have grown 19 month's worth of hair (wih reference to average speed).
Just hang in there and don't get any trims. You've got a tighter curl than I. I know you don't want to sacrifice originality, but straightening it/blowdryin the curls to be longer might help your hair feel longer.
Yeah, I realize these things, I was just using you as an example .. . .
I couldn't agree with you more. I've come to the conclusion from my own growing out hair experience that for a man living in western culture at this time in history, it is one of the quickest ways to authentic self-examination, self-knowing that one can have. Suddenly, I become aware of just how much my life has been ruled by the fears, hopes, wishes and expectations of everyone around me--and my reactions to them to keep them "happy" or at least off my back. When I chose to grow my hair out, I was putting myself and them on notice that I was not playing the game anymore. And then I had to really come clean with myself. Not everyone is signing up for that when they let their hair grow,and hence, all the dissatisfaction with what they get.
Sometimes I want straight hair, sometimes I want curly hair. But most of the time I am prity happy with this straightish-wavy thing I've got going on. From one angle I'm happy how my hair is without doing anything to it, on the other I'm paranoid about doing damage to it from dying and straightening it. But, to be honest, if I could make it curlier or straighter and know for a fact that I wouldn't cause any damage at all I would probly still keep it just how it is. It's like you said "it is MY hair, and I wouldn't trade it for anyone elses". Sometimes other peoples hair looks different and cool, but at the end of the day my hair is still mine.
On the other hand, what Patrik said makes sense too. But I only agree with him on the level where I can change my hairs appearance with ponytail bands, clips, bandanas, and such. This way I can change my appearance as I see fit, but I can still take out at the end of the day and still have the same head of hair.
My experience with the hair I got has led me to agree with that. My hair is fine and curly, and fine hair is easily trashed by trying to make it be anything else. I've found that my hair looks its best by letting it be itself.
I don't want to look like anyone else anyway. If it just happens, though, that is cool. A lot of people think I look like Willie Nelson, and that is fun. But there is nothing going on with idolization there. I'm just me, and the similarities are happenstance.
Bill, Bill, Bill, I know who you look like (and perhaps your secret identity)! He has a snowy beard, long curly locks, is loved by many and welcome in their homes at all hours. Many people even place icons of him around their dwellings and workplaces this time of year. Perhaps it is just tokenism, but I believe the world has a soft spot for long haired men beyond this specific example.
I don't know Bill, maybe Willie does idolize you. ;-) He's not the only one. :-)
Trying not to sound like Bill C.'s overeager Internet fan club, not succeeding but not being able to help it because he reminds her of her own dear San Francisco boyfriend Bill D. of handsome long curls and hikes,
Elizabeth
BG,
I dearly love the look of curly hair and think I would have liked to have been born with them. Not having that, I ended up dating a guy with my beloved ringlets and now get the benefit of seeing them without having to care for them myself. Meanwhile he wants straight hair like he used to have. While I am glad he does not, he is free to alter his hair to suit his desires.
I am not interested in doing anything to change my hair, not due to philosophical reasons but ones of complete and utter avoidance of effort to get and maintain a change. Hair really is just a decoration to some and I would not say it is important to accept what is given. Those willing to put in the time on upkeep of their chosen look are no different than people making different sorts of time trade offs that come from long hair. In either case the person finds it rewarding so well worth the effort.
There is so much more to hair choices than be merely natural or trendy. To have an appearance preference different from what is growing on a person's head means just that, not that they have a short-term interest in looking like someone else. There certainly are people after someone else's look and that is great too. Hair is wonderfully malleable and if a style changes the hair can be grown back and altered again.
I see no reason to embrace what grows if a person does not want to. Trimming itself, and certainly washing change the hair from the natural appearance so already there are some things the majority of people do that are beyond letting the hair do as it will. Ball Guy, I am beginning to wonder if you are trying to convince yourself into accepting the hair you have. If it helps, you have one fan in me.
Elizabeth
P.S. What happened to Hubert the dreadlock? I hope I am asking the right person.
I'm not trying to accept my hair, I did that in the past month. When I straightened it I noticed how nice it was (hey, I could even brush it!) but it just wasn't "me". I appreciate the support though!
Yes, this is the right person, but sadly Hubert gave up the ghost. After about a month and a half or so I realized that dreads are fine. . .if you do your whole head. But I wash my hair 2-3 times a week, along with some conditioning, and dreadlocks aren't supposed to be washed more than about once a week. I soaked Hubert in some detangler conditioner, then started brushing him out (only got about 3/4 of an inch) then cut the rest (it had already "locked" up at that point)
Dreads are great, but they are an "all or nothing" venture.
For many years I was biased by long straight hair. Now I think "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder" (it's not from me but I like this statement) with the addition that the perceive of reality and it's individual interpretation depends from learning. So I don't know what I will think about hair in some years, but I guess the beauty of curls is no longer hidden for me.
wolfgang