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Does anyone have any suggestions for convincing my dad to "see the light" and let me grow it out longer than it already is? He doesn't understand that I truly want to grow my hair out.
You don't have to convince him, you have to convince yourself that this is what you now (or in the future) and then patiently grow it despite the flak or any other hurdles that come your way.
Parents do eventually give up on their pressure tactics, it may take a few years and your age may help but they do learn to live with it just as you have to.
Heh, my mom was against the idea of it I walked into the living room today and shes like ''you need a hair cut'' I told her nah. We got into a debate and im like, you don't like longhairs do you? she nodded yeah n w/e soooo I just said, ok, do you hate jesus?She said no, Ok, next, Do you hate Santa? ''no'' They were both longhairs. She got quite pretty quick lol. But hey, if its what you want then don't let anyone tell ya otherwise.. I got my eyebrow peirced my mom hated it wouldn't look at me for 2 days now its like its not even there. Parents will adjust over time you just gotta ride it out and do what your doing for yourself and no one else.
You can't change other people. The only one you can change is yourself. My best advice to you is to try and make your dad proud of you in every other way you can think of. This is how you can plant a seed, that will grow into his realization, that your long hair doesn't have to get in the way of your love and admiration for each other.
Sorry dude, but if you live under his roof, are under age, pay no rent--well, you know the drill--you pretty much have to stay within the bounds your parents set. Once out on your own, however--well, that's a different story. Sorry to break that to you, dude, but that's just the way life goes. We've all been there. Josh
Yes, but it would be nice to save fights over things that matter. Being frustrated over arbitrary rules is normal. Thinking about strategies for changing parent's minds on hair is very reasonable. I'm not sure that I would be able to set appropriate boundaries if I had a child.
I suggest ignore absolutely every negative thing he says and try and try and get on with him, like Reflective suggests. Avoid arguments. Don't raise upto "the challenge". If he seems to change his attitude, and compliments you or whatever, take it as that, A compliment. He may think you're growing your hair to rebel, so he might be trying reverse psychology.
Man, this kind of thing makes me really angry. I sure do hope that one day trivial stuff like hair and color will never matter.
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JoNty
BTW, how close-minded is he? Would he physically drag you to the barbers for a cut? If so, is there anyone you can ask to talk to him? How about your mother?
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JoNty
My dad is really strange. Some days he'll just say something like "You know, your hair isn't that bad" and the next day he'll say "Ryan, you are getting a haircut."
My mom on the other hand, does not care about my hair, as long as it looks "nice and styled".
He wouldn't physically drag me to the barber, he would just get extremely angry. I think that I've come up with an argument that he cannot put down. Thanks to everyone for your ideas and help.
Well just in case here's another...
The vast majority of reasons against long hair are about other people's misconceptions about longhairs. "Long hairs are this... longhairs are that... you'll look like... etc."
So adopt the attitude: "This is just something I want to do, it wont change the person I am, but its still somthing I want to do and I'm going to do it. I don't care what other people think and neither should anyone else, afterall, its my hair!"
The great thing about this arguement is that no-matter what anyone else says, 'you dont care'. So any reason anyone else has for you to cut your hair just bounces right off.
-Sorted-
Right, I think your dad is not against long hair in particular but against the image like you would change your personality with change of hair...of course ridicuous but some minds have a VERY short logical thinking...keep it growing, at the end you will be proud you've made it :-)
Yes yes. Good argument. Don't make it be a 'you vs. me' Let him know that it's something you really want to do, that it's not spite or rebellion. A lot of parents just don't understand the changes in style from when they grew up. Be consistant. Be stubborn. And if he wants you to look spiffy and neat for something (or whatever), than do it. Pick your fights. Just don't cut it.
My .02
Mr. Lowe
I went through the same thing with my dad. Eventually he'll just accept the fact your gonna have long hair. Just remember he can't MAKE you get a hair cut...
Perhaps start by showing him several artists depictions of Jesus Christ. Follow that up with famous men such as Washington, Franklin, Jefferson...............in short the "greats" in history. So, why shouldn't you be permitted to sport long hair? What's his beef? Let HIM explain it to you. BUT.........do lots of homework first so that you have a very polite "come-back" no matter what he says. Good Luck.
(You can always tell him God doesn't mind Long Hair.........he made us this way.)
Once he asked me if I wanted to go get a haircut with him about 4 months in. I said no and that was the end of it. The only other thing he's really said about my hair was that I need to make sure I take care of it so it doesn't look ragged. I thought he'd be against it since he's had short hair his whole life, but I guess I just got lucky.