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I am 16 year old and have decided I'd like to grow my hair out. I've lived with my grandparents most of my life (even though my parents are nextdoor!). My grandparents grew up in "the boonies" and are fairly closeminded people. I've just ignored it until recently.
I haven't got my hair cut in about two and a half months and a few weeks back I told them I was letting my hair grow so I can see if I'd like something new. My grandpa really didn't care (which is a big surprise), but my grandma went nuts.
Today when I saw her she yelled at me. She claims that it's okay to grow your hair long as long as you get it shaped up once in a while (I don't think she knows what people mean by long hair). Then she asked who I'm trying to be like and then asked how long I was growing my hair. I replied, "I don't know", and then she flipped out saying "YOU ARE NOT HAVING LONG HAIR, IT IS PURE REBELLION. NONE OF YOUR FRIENDS OR OTHER KIDS YOUR AGE I'VE SEEN HAVE LONG HAIR. WHAT IS YOUR DEAL?". I told her if I wanted to be rebellious, I would lie, steal, and do drugs.
My grandma is a self proclaimed Christian (yet she gossips on the phone with her old friends all the time), and I'm waiting for her to say it says in the bible or something. I'm now thinking of moving in with my mom (she's very cool when it comes to stuff like this).
It's driving me insane!!!! What should I do?
You need to sit down with your gandma and have a mature conversation with her. Tell her that you love her and respect her choices/opinions, but also ask her if she feels the same way toward you. If she still is against your goal of long hair, I think you need to move back in with your parents.
Thanks guys. There is one thing though: SHE IS CONTROLLING. Nothing you say to her will get through her head, and her word is always right. I realized putting it was driving me insane was a bit stupid because it's more than my hair thing. I've just lived here most of the time because I hung around here all the time when my parents were at work and I was little. Oh well.
Oh yeah... I'm not planning on growing it past my ears, but whatever. It can wait until a couple of years until I'm gone to college, I guess.
I think you gave the board the wrong impression. You do not want to grow your hair long...you just want an awquard stage look. Good luck with whichever path you choose.
Whoops. Should have said "I'm not planning on growing it much past my ears".
"It can wait until a couple of years until I'm gone to college, I guess."
Why should it?
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JoNty
...there may not be much you can do when your still living at "home" under age. However, and this might sound strange, you may want to try to have a heart to heart talk with your grandmother after she's eaten a good meal. I never forgot learning that people tend to be more negotiable after a meal. Explain to her the best you can why it is you want long hair, how it makes you feel and that nothing negative will come of it.
I also suggested to another poster about a week ago that you could maybe also wear a hat, albeit all the time, around your grandmother until it gets long enough to neatly pull back in a tail. The awkward stage lasts for a long time (about 1.5-2.5 years) and it will surely look unruly and 'unpleasant' to your grandmother by the way you describe her reaction.
Other than that, do what you can to plan your life, make money and move out to have control over your own grooming. Maybe move back with your mom like you stated, but we don't know the specifics of your living arrangements (why you aren't with your parents, etc) so it would be difficult in giving advice there.
Good luck.
What did she mean when she said "it's okay to grow your hair long as long as you get it shaped up once in a while" ???
Sounds to me like she might have given you permission in disguise. Perhaps you missed it?
If not being allowed to cut your hair is enough to "drive you insane", you've got a lot to learn about life, my friend. Learn to choose your battles.
ToddB
Hello Josh,
You might want to offer to your grandmother that you will do more chores (or begin doing them) in exchange for her goodwill on this issue. This not only shows that you are still a good kid but also that you are serious about growing your hair and willing to work for it. She has something you want, the permission to grow longer and I am sure there is something she wants from you in another area that would help sway her firmness about hair. If she in unmoved, consider it the price of living there and act according to your needs. Decide how important it is to you to grow out right now. For all they have done for you over your life, to put off growing your hair a few more years may really be a small thing.
In hopes of your success,
Elizabeth
Just tell her you want the "Jesus Look!" (You admire it.)
Tell her that Jesus had long hair and then grow a beard to match jesus' beard... tell her you are following the worlds best role model... then make yourself a crown of thorns...
I'm sorry to hear about this. My grand father (neally 70) is a retiring stone mason, and has a good sized pony tail. No balding what so ever.
Yeah, I'd see if you can move in with your parents. They seem a lot more understanding and less prejudiced.
Of course, don't forget to proove your grand mother wrong when she comes out with all the stupid rebellious/bible crap. :)
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JoNty
There's the natural longhair look and the sculpted long hair look... she obviously prefers the later, personally I'm with your Grandma, but it has to be your choice.
Then she asked who I'm trying to be like and then asked how long I was growing my hair. I replied, "I don't know"
Who do you wanna be like??? Well I dunno either, but humour her, invent some longhair who she's gonna respect... try Jesus! (Hell he was a rebel too! Just ask the Romans!)
I'm waiting for her to say it says in the bible or something.
Er, well I think it is somewhere in Corinthians... but as many statements in the Bible, its full of contradictions... There's the story of Samson... 90% of depictions of Jesus are with longhair... (though thats got more to do with style at the time of sculpture than any basis in fact, but most Christians don't know that.) English civil war, most of the puritans had short hair whilst the good old faithful Christians wore it long... heck look at the depictions of the crusades... Christians are longhairs!!!!
My Advice - tell her to show you some respect!
Oh I forgot the "English Civil War Comments" in my previous post don't really apply if your in the US, cos after the Royals were re-instated all the puritans were so badly persecuted they mostly shipped off to colonise the Americas... (*blush*)
My History Sucks... I just remember pictures.... please don't consider anything I write to be factually accurate...
The Puritans were christians as were the royalists (in other words, both sides). The conflict between parliament and king was, in part, about religious inteolerance. Minority religious groups were systematically persecuted. It was also about the divine right of kings. England was a protestant country in fear of a papist takeover - after all, the reformation and split from Rome occurred only about 100 years previously. Charles I had a French catholic wife and catholic advisors, so parliament was suspicious of his religous and political alliegance (with some justification).
When Charles decided to shut down parliament, he set off a train of events leading to war. He was like most men, flawed, and the harbinger of his own downfall.
Curiously, Cromwell also shut down parliament and indulged in systematic oppression of groups (religious or otherwise) who dissented. He also banned Christmas, but that's another story.
Broadly, the civil war gave us the embryo of our modern parliamentary democracy and constitutional monarchy, although it took until 1918 before we had a true democracy - the New Model Army (Parliament) were the good guys (mostly).
My wife reckons I look like Charles II when I wear my hair down - so I'm in good company.... :-D
Like I said I'm factually lacking with my history... but the rest of my post stands to reason...thanks for making more informed...