new thread
Lately I've been thinking that my long hair is getting tiresome. There's several reasons for this, and I'm on my 5th day of the '14 day rule'. It's very unruly, "wispy", frizzy, and somehow it just doesn't seem to fit my face. It's a struggle to feel comfortable with it all over my face and neck. I used to like this feeling, now it's just become more of a burden. Unless I straighten it, it's hard to make it look nice in the morning and for it not to be damp when I leave for class. It's a lot of work for something that doesn't look that good on me. The pictures can be deceiving... It's not like my hair HAS to look good all the time, I just really don't feel all that comfortable with it even when it DOES look good.
As you can tell, I'm in quite a delimma.
Today I wore it very straight, and didn't like it anymore. Even though it was very straight and controlled, I still felt really awkward... And not because of what people might say about it, but because I feel like I'm wearing a "hat" of hair all the time and really want to "take it off". It's really strange, and this is a relatively new feeling that only started about a month ago.
By the way, I got a sizable trim that evened up my hair all around. Though my trim was a very good one, I'm still not satisfied with my hair. I really just have this urge to be free of the feeling of long hair, and usually wear it in a ponytail and/or a bandanna whenever possible when I'm not at class or the gym. It feels great to have it off my neck and out of my face... I don't honestly know if I want long hair anymore. It's almost like since I reached my goal of long hair (what I wanted to achieve in the first place), it's not such a big deal anymore... I also don't think I really feel an "attachment" to my hair anymore. It never really was an "attachment", I guess, but more of a goal and something to try. It was something fun to try, and don't regret doing so. But, I'm also very curious about how I would look with a close buzzcut. Growing long hair has taught me patience, and if I DO get a buzzcut and don't like it, I can always tough it out until it's a couple inches again... I love to experiment, and there is much more room for experimentation that I'm interested in with shorter hair, in my opinion. Personally, I think I look best with short hair...
Anyway, if things don't change I think I'll be making some sort of arrangements to get it cut. I'll keep you guys updated on any decision making or lack thereof. Comments and questions are welcomed...
Its hard sometimes to get used to having long hair. You need motivation and love for the cause, or your hair or both. Long hair suits you very well and if you don't like it loose you can tie every day if you want.
Anyway even if it looks great on you, you might still want to cut it... and its ok if you want... just think it over very well, don't rush into anything. and for goodness sake, don't shave it off right away, start by cutting it gradually, that way you'll get regret insurance.
Nothing is worse than shaving it off like that. It took you more than a year to be where you are, don't make any instant dramatic changes.
I dread the thought of having to tie it back everyday. If I wanted to do that I'd just as soon get a haircut. :) It's good for comfort when I'm at home or something, but I don't like the look on me...
As far as cutting it all off at once... It depends on what I decide to do if I do want to cut it off. I may consider opening up a local charity, or driving up north a little and participating in another charity. If I went that route, then I would surely go with a really short cut. But, if I don't do that, I may just get it cut to about this length...
Or this length.
Only I won't die it blond. Maybe dark brown. :)
consider a little longer???????
"consider a little longer???????"
If it grows much longer than that, I get these tiny spiral curls on the sides of my head that I really hate. In fact, even though my hair is longer now, there are still those places on my head where the hair tends to curl for no apparent reason. The rest of my hair is of another texture, I have no idea why the hell it does that.
It's really annoying...
After reading the posts on this board and the short hair site, the difference on this board is refreshing. On the short hair board, most of the posts tells the person to go for instant gratification and to get a buzz now. Here, there seems to be an understanding if a person is unsure and is thinking about going short. Growing your hair long takes a lot of time and effort, getting it buzzed takes a couple of minutes and a couple of years to get it long again. Yet, most of the responses here is, that it is your decision to make, and no hard feelings if you decide to get it cut short. You do have a picture history over the last couple of years, and it is your call of what you consider best for you. There are some on both boards who would look better with something else. But the decision is theirs, and not someone else who wants to dictate their hair style.
Your hair looks really good despite being a little unruly. It is your hair and your choice to cut it, if you want to, but my advice is to be patient for a while longer and let it grow. Your hair will be easier to manage as it gets longer due to the pull of gravity making it straighter. Absalom
Yeah, letting it grow longer would make it straighter, but if I want it straighter I usually just use my ceramic straightening iron. It works really well, but even after it's 'perfect' looking I just don't like it as much as I used to.
Cut it. If you are this conflicted about it then it is not right for you.
I question, though, whether your desire to constantly change, tinker and experiment with things will hinder your ability to set and achieve long-term goals in life, but that's another discussion.
"I question, though, whether your desire to constantly change, tinker and experiment with things will hinder your ability to set and achieve long-term goals in life, but that's another discussion."
And if one of my long-term goals in life IS to "constantly change, tinker and experiment with things...?" What then? Besides, I don't think I CONSTANTLY have to change things, I am only human and wish to try different things in life once in a while.
your hair looks good IMO, even curly. wait the whole 2 weeks atleast, maybe even a month, and see how you feel. of course you don't HAVE to keep it long, whatever floats your boat.
My gawd, you have hair to die for. If you do cut it off, I wish you could just plant it on my scalp instead. You are just emerging form the awkward stage. At least let it grow another few inches before you decide. You will then get used to it and like it more. You are just going through an uncertain phase.
Al
"My gawd, you have hair to die for."
That's what I used to say about other people's hair before my got long... Maybe I'm just in a stage of doubt right now, I don't know.
stanley bey has one photo from 1999 on his site-----I think this length would be great for you...
I totaly understand, You have nice hair but the wrong type to just let dry without any work. I liked your hair at shoulder length, and if you either brushed it more, ot did some layers I think you would find it easier to work with. all one length is tough on hair like yours. Before you chop it all off I would try long layers and a good style. To many guys are just growing out their hair with no style to it. Each person had a style that fits their hair type and facial features. Just my take on your hair, I know its not a popular one with the gang here but its all I have to offer.
Best luck dude
Trev
I did have layers in my hair before I cut it all to one length. I still don't really like the long hair on my head all the time...
Did my decision to cut have anything to do with your comtemplating getting a cut?
It's nice you have received a civil reaction. It's certainly more than what I got.
"Did my decision to cut have anything to do with your comtemplating getting a cut?"
I guess in a way it did. Mostly, though, it's just the urge to try something new. That is why I wanted to grow longer hair in the first place. I think the self cut you did looked pretty good, in my opinion.
"It's nice you have received a civil reaction. It's certainly more than what I got."
Yeah, but other people's perception of our motives may be different.
As it turned out, for this time in my life, I made the right call. I do miss my hair terribly at times but I feel satisfied that for personal reasons, I did the right thing.
I find it despicable that most here couldn't accept that.
I don't think that people couldn't accept your decision. I think that it was more that you gave the impression that you cut in order to please those around you, rather than to please yourself. EM on the other hand is very much giving the impression that if he cuts, it will be to please himself and no one else. And therein lies the difference in the reactions that you got as compared to what he is getting.
We all must deal with the pressure from others to cut our hair. And when we think we see someone caving in to that pressure, (whether real or imagined), I think we all get a little scared. What if that was me?
...EM. Well, I can't say I wouldn't miss your posts if you left! I always enjoyed reading your posts. You do have great hair. But, of course, your happiness should come first.
If you don't feel like your happy because the benefits of the long hair are outweighed by the burdens, then it might be good for you to cut. To really test yourself during the 2 week period, ask yourself why you wanted long hair in the first place? Do you still have those desires? You mentioned, I think, getting long hair as a goal to achieve. Why did you set this goal? Was it just for the fun of it, or was it because there were certain things about long hair that you thought you'd enjoy?
One last thing, and you remind me of me this way. A few years ago I grew my hair out. When my hair reached my goal, I was suddenly hit with this feeling of wanted to cut it because, at the time, the negatives outweighed the positives. So, I think I truly know what you're going through.
Just for my own curiousity, what were the things about long hair that made you want to grow in the first place? Talk to you soon.
"Just for my own curiousity, what were the things about long hair that made you want to grow in the first place?"
If I can recall correctly, the thing that really propelled my decision to grow and to continue to grow out my hair was the internal desire to be different and be looked at differently. It seems that way now, at least.
Now my urge to cut is try something new and to not have to deal with my hair. Plus, I feel that my hair can be a major distraction to my facial aesthetics. On a bad hair day I just feel so very uncomfortable with my hair. It's easier to control shorter hair and my face doesn't feel like it's being "covered" with hair...
...for the answer. I understand completly the need for change and something new.
You honestly do have great hair. Also, and this is just my opinion, but I think your facial features go VERY well with long hair. You've heard, I'm sure, the expression of something along the following line: "your face just perfectly fits long/short hair". I honestly think your facial features really go very well with the long hair. I was wondering if I should tell you that because I didn't want you to feel pressured to keep your hair, but I thought maybe you'd like to know. Of course, I still don't want you to feel any pressure.
Sometimes you see guys on the board who've been here for a while and who've really contributed to the integrity of the board cut and leave, which is understandable. You're one of those guys who has contributed greatly to the board.
With whatever you choose, do what makes you happy. That's the most important thing. I started anologizing my hair to my cars...I first started out with a standard, then I wanted an automatic, so I got one as my next car. Then I missed my standard, so I got a standard as the following car. Now I want an automatic again. Sounds like I've been doing the same with my hair. You might do the same!
Good luck in whatever you decide. Stick around if you do decide to cut, at least once in a while.
I'm sorry you are stuggling with your long hair now that you have reached your goal. FWIW I also have moments when my hair is an absolute pain. Yesterday I was in a rush to go outside. After I put on my hat some of my hair was twisted around and kept getting in my mouth. In a rush to put on my boots, I kept spitting it out and it kept getting caught back in my mouth. Grrrr. I've also woken up in the middle of the night with my hair fully covering my face. Some nights I find my hair wakes me up when it gets caught under my arm or shoulder. In addition to social pressure there are definitely negative practical aspects to having long hair. That's part of the long hair experience. Is your desire to have long hair stronger than the sum of the inconveniences?
I want to address one aspect of your comments because I went through the same concern. I was also very concerned about going out in the morning with damp hair. Then I realised that *many* "long haired people" (women) were walking around with damp hair in the morning. Now I just dry my hair as much as possible and go out. I put my ponytail bands in my pocket and tie it back when it is dry. Damp hair is not nearly as obvious or bad-looking as you might think.
sweep it up over your pillow when you lay down to sleep. if it's as long as your post implies, then it should stay there pretty much all night, while you toss and turn. :)
Putting it up in a bun on top of your head also works great for sleeping. It totally keeps your hair out of the way. And out of harm's way also.
I wish I could see your pics so I could offer an opinion (your bandwidth limit has bust.)
I know from your previous pics that your hair needs a lot of maintenance and is probably not the easiest to live with, but I would say that its a long way back if you buzz it.
You've trimed, you've styled, you're following the two week rule, I think when you make your decision it'll be the right one.
Good Luck with the two weeks, I'll leave you with one thing that might help liven up your hair. Try washing in Soap, its strips the hair of any product build up, follow that up with washing and conditioning with some light products and see how you feel, it can really liven up your hair again. (Only don't do this regularly... it sucks for your hair.)
Do whatever makes you happy man. If you think that you don't look good with long hair, then don't force yourself into keeping it long. About 4 years ago I went through the same type of thinking, and to make a long story short (no pun intended), I cut ALL of my hair off. It took about 6 months after the cut to realize that short hair just wasn't me (I first grew my hair out in the fourth grade, so I have had it for the majority of my life). I don't think that I could ever have short hair again. But then again, we are totally differant people.
If you DO decide to cut your hair, could you possibly make sure that those "Hair Reserves" pricks don't find out about it? I remember that one guy proclaiming that he was going to try to persuade you into cutting your hair by the end of 2004 (or something like that). I really, REALLY hope that the thoughts of that complete ass aren't making you want to cut your hair (I seriously doubt it though).
You said the B word (buzzcut), lol it made me cringe. But to each his own. I think you look cool with long hair, it makes you look distinguished. You almost look like Gavin Rossdale from Bush in that one picture. Good luck man.
Here's some great advice I recently received in regard's to cutting my own hair (which I decided I'm not going to do).
If your long hair is making you that unhappy, go ahead and get it cut. You set a goal for yourself to grow long hair and you succeeded, you put the time in, you took the abuse of bad hair days, looks & comments from family & friends. Getting it cut will not mean you have "failed" or "given in." Getting it cut will mean that you are taking charge of your life just like you did when you decided to grow it long. :-)
And I really agree with this.
It's an arbitrary decision, and one that's going to be right no matter what you decide.
Good luck.
- Brian
I had the same exact thought as you about 5 months ago. i actually got so fed up one day that i called my local salon to make an oppointment to have it cut off. But thankfully the only appointment i could get was 3 days away and by then i changed my mind and cancled the appointment. i have hair just like yours only mine is brown and probally an inch longer. dont cut it yet. just let it get longer and all will be good. try combing your hair into a different position in the morning so when it drys it looks a little diffent style. some days i comb it back and let it dry then shack it loose so i have no part and push it behind my ears. some days i comb it staight down then shack it loose so its even curlyer with a part. the only way im am going to cut my hair is if i start to go bald. which i hope doesnt happen anytime soon.
You say you don't like your look when your hair is all pulled back. Well, from the front, that is exactly how short hair will look. I have curly hair also and like you, I can't stand having it in my face. So I wear it pulled back all the time. But, that doesn't mean that I wear it the same way all the time. Try experimenting with lots of different styles. There are so many more options than with short hair. Variety is the spice of life!
my hair is down to my tailbone, but i cant stand it if my hair is infront of my ears. and i'm always pulling it back or sweeping it off my neck for a short while. i hate it when it gets in my face, so it's always pulled back in a ponytail, bun, hairband, etc.(even though i look better if i let it hang around my face, go figure.)
but i still wouldnt cut it because there's alot of other things i like about it, and like to do with it that i couldnt do if it where short. so, maybe thinking about the good things about having long hair will help, aye?
Well Evil you are young, still in High School. You have a long life ahead of you to re-visit growing your hair out again. The good news is that your hair will change and may look differently the next time you decide to grow it out :)
Good luck to you!
Just remember how the two week rule works. If you ever waver at all in your decision to cut, the two week clock gets reset at that point and you start the two weeks over again. It's not just whether or not you still want to cut two weeks after you originally started the clock running. I'm hoping that you will have a "good hair day" sometime in the next two weeks, and that you will waver a little in your desire to cut, and will have to reset the two week clock.
Al
When you started this journey your goal was go grow it to 12 inches. Your about 70 days from your goal now (after how many months?) Why don't you make your decision once you've reached the 12 inch goal and not now when you're just coming out of the awkward stage.
BTW, your hair looks really cool. I understand that it is a pain, but a little length may help. Also, have you thought about straightening your hair like Santiago/Giacco?
I have decided to "cool off" and keep my hair. Read my newer post above for more details.
Again, thank you to all who responded and gave their insight. I think I just needed time to think this through.