new thread
I know that if I have a son, whether or not he grows his hair long is his choice. I was wondering what you guys thought about how much my son might want to be like me. I would want him to make his own decisions and do what he wanted to do as long as he was healthy and happy, and I wouldn't worry for him. But I consider myself a decent person despite my looks and wonder if he would be like me in actions and perhaps style as well. Thanks.
Ivix
Ivix,
It's good that you realize that your son's 'look' should be HIS choice. MY father never caught on to that concept and as a result, we were constantly at each others throats, preventing a relationship that a father and son should have with each other. Of course, my father was in his 60's when I was born, and held beliefs from the 'old school', so that further added to the distance between us.
It would be nice to think our children could share our views and be somewhat 'like us'. In some ways, I think every child shares at least a few traits or mannerisms with their parents, whether they want to or not. But usually, their likes about personal traits, (such as long hair), that can be changed, are far different than those of the parents. Peer pressure has a lot to do with this I'm sure, as well as the 'need' to just be different and distinct from mom or dad. Above and beyond everything else, I think it's of the utmost importance to have a good relationship with your child and not worry about what they look like. But it WOULD be the best bonus of all if they WANTED to look like dad!
-------
Some kids want to look like dad before they reach certain age, then they make some changes, however changes might exclude the hair sometimes.
I wouldn't like my kids to face pressure and hostility they don't need unless they really want their hair in that way.
As i have been growing up my mom tried making me grow my hair out, get an earring and get contacts. I refused for years but now she backed off and i ended up doing all those things on my own without thinking of it. So whatever you do, don't try to tell your kid to do things and maybe they will do them on their own later. Thats no garantee though.
It's complicated. They face peer pressure and they want to distance themselves from their parents, and it all varies with age. We let our son's hair grow, but when he was old enough to make his own decision he wanted it short. Probably had something to do with peer pressure, but if we stopped him getting it cut he would just resent it, and what would be the point in that? I know I argued with my own parents for years because I grew mine and they didn't like it, although that only started when I was a teenager, and my son isn't that old yet. It was all a huge waste of effort on both sides. Parents and kids should have better things to do than argue about hair. Of course, if I'm determined not to repeat their mistake, there's nothing novel about that.
Most Kids try and distance themselves as much as possible from been considered "like their Dad" - I know that I certainly dont like to be compared to my Dad. He has some strong character traits with others find objectionable and I'd hate others to think of me the way I know they think of my Dad.
Yet inevitably we pick up certain traits from our parents. As much as we hate to admit it. My Dad used to be a long hair, so maybe thats a trait I picked up from him... so I guess in answer to your question, its very possible that your son will think and act very much like you do, as much as he might not like to think he does.
Well keep in mind Freud's theory of the Oedipus complex. You know, subconciously boys want to sleep with their mothers and kill their fathers, vica versa for girls, etc. Nothing too wierd, right?