new thread
Hi,
Let me start off by saying that it is certainly nice to find a message board like this. It is so pleasurable to find a forum these days that isn't using vBulletin or some variation with zillions of wacky features and whatnot. I also noticed how incredibly active this board is.
Even more so, I really like the discussion topic that this board focuses on. I have been a short-haired guy all of my life and have never really cared about how my hair looked. I had it cut short quite often so I didn't need to comb it or anything.
Recently, however, I have grown to like the idea of having long hair myself. I never really saw guys with long hair on a day-to-day basis until about half a year ago when I started working in IT. At my job, two of the other five men (including the head manager) in my department wear their long hair in ponytails. So at least I can't get fired for having long hair!
Several months ago, in December, I stopped getting my hair cut. I had no idea what to expect and even how far I would want to go with it. I can say this: I certainly pictured it being a lot more fun than it has turned out to be. I expected my hair to grow longer and start heading towards the ground. It wasn't until it grew longer that I discovered that my hair is curly and is really intent on growing upwards instead.
This was a big disappointment. I know that eventually it will fall down, but even then it will be in curls. I have looked at a lot of long hair pictures since visiting this site and have seen varying levels of "tightness" in the curls of guys who don't have completely straight hair. I am curious as to how my hair will begin to look when it's longer and when I will see a difference. Right now it is 3.5 inches long but is only over 1 inch long when I don't pull it straight.
I am constantly debating in my mind whether or not I want to try to accept my hair as it is or try to change it. Since first becoming interested I spent a lot of time reading many websites and message posts about hair straightening and all of that stuff. Didn't really like the sound of it, either.
Right now my hair easily looks like an afro and can appear wavy on the top when combed after a shower. The sides, which are the same length as the top, refuse to stay straight. So, at best, I can get it straight on top and puffy at the sides. That is, without using any kind of gels or straightening balms.
I am anxious to find out what my hair will look like when it's longer. I can't picture it straight anymore, but can see it going down in tight or loose curls, neither of which I would like. I have been hoping that the curls would be loose enough for my hair to almost appear to be "wavy" instead.
After reading the Men's Long Hair site and the "FAQ on Being a Longhair" that I have seen a lot of mention to, I still feel uncertain about ever having the hair look I would like. I almost want to try straightening my hair now while it's short to see if that works knowing that if it doesn't I wouldn't be set back much.
If it helps, I have uploaded several pictures of what my hair looks like right now. Anyone have any ideas on what I can expect if I continue to let it grow? Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks,
Rick
Hi :-)
I am a former hair stylist. When I look at the pictures of your hair it reminds me of what a client's hair looked like after I permed it with white perm rods. The white rods were used for people with straight medium length to longer hair who wanted wave and body. As your hair grows the weight of your hair will relax your curl, but I envision you as always naturally having curly hair, just in bigger more manageable curls, as it grows. I realize you envision straight hair, but if you give it a chance to get long, I think you will have beautiful hair, that you will be pleased with.
Theron
You hair is gorgeous and it will relax some as it gets longer and heavier.
This message board is here to encourage you through the stress of growing your hair long and talk about problems growing your hair. It is a great board full of knowledgable people.
Don't be discouraged. You will soon notice people admiring your locks. Keep hair well conditioned because curly hair can get very dry.
High Priestess,
How much more, do you think, will the hair that will be resting on top of my head start to relax versus the hair that will eventually begin to hang? If it has to curl, I'd prefer that it do this on the ends and hopefully the upper part will be straighter due to the weight. Do you think this will happen?
When I used to keep my hair really short, I also didn't put much effort into maintenance. I don't notice this anymore, but my (short) hair used to become very greasy. My hair feels a bit greasy now, but not so much as before. What specifically applies to hair like mine?
Thanks,
Rick
Yes, the weight will make it straighter towards the top.
Curly hair that is slightly greasy is lucky for you.
Most people with curly hair have been complaining about dry hair.
You own natural oils are the best thing for healthy looking hair.
Run your fingers through your hair often to work your natural oils to the ends where they are the most dry.
Make sure your hands are clean when you do this. You don't want Dorito bits in your hair now do you hehe!
It has been my professional experience that as your hair does get longer the waves, not the curls, will prevail. Please give it some time (and length) before making any drastic moves to correct a "problem" which may take care of itself given time and length.
Hi Mark-
I have always felt the same way about this board which has been very helpful to myself for nearly 2 years.
I almost think just about everybody wants something different than the way their hair grows or what it wants to do...........just human nature I suppose. Yours looks FAR from a disaster case in these very beginning stages. (One is always their own worst critic of themselve.) As your hair gets longer, it gets easier to deal with and you will learn how to adapt and work with what you have. In a year and a half you most likely will be amazed at the results!
The "Awkward Stage" is really many many stages in constant change which you rather have to "improvise upon" as you go along. One really important thing is the conditioner. Sometimes I think more-so than the Shampoo itself.
I take it you have read the internet article by Bill Choisser? It is the "Bible" for any Longhair and is a "must" to read.
Good luck to you in your journey. Please remember, we read time after time the sorrow from guys who finally gave-up and wish they hadn't. Seldom read is hurrah........I cut that lousy long hair off!!!
Justin~
Justin,
It's "Rick" actually.
It's hard to believe at first that longer hair is easier to to manage than shorter hair is. Do you have any idea of what it's going to look like when its longer? I'm hoping that my curls won't be too "tight" as that would be worse for length. I am baffled by how, currently, one side of the top of my head almost rests in a "wave" after combing it out when it's wet but the other side curls up more.
How often should I be using shampoo and how often for the conditioner? I read a few posts about this and some have suggested using conditioner more often and shampoo less often. Before I started to let my hair grow I was not using conditioner.
Yes, it was an excellent read. The things I disliked reading in that article were the segments where curly hair was mentioned as being less of a successful candidate for long length and weaker because of its structure. It almost seemed to be discouraging to those with curly hair, however, from the pictures on the front page it looks as if the author might have curly hair himself?
I thought about this a few times, but never really liked the idea. I forgot to mention earlier that I did have an "ill-advised" trim a few weeks ago and disliked losing the bit of hair that I did. I won't be doing that again, either, as it didn't seem to accomplish much. A big problem I have now is that the hair on the back of my head is shorter (3 inches rather than 3.5) and seems to be the most stubborn. Will the back now always be shorter or will it eventually even itself out?
I take it I shouldn't need any haircuts or trims whatsoever? I hear that curly hair is less prone to "split ends". Is this true?
Thanks,
Rick
I sure do. If I had hair of iron that grew like a weed to the floor, and if I had not been incessantly harassed much of my life about wanting to have long hair, I suppose I would have never been motivated to write the material. [grin] Getting my mane was a rough road to travel, and the victory of getting it was all the more sweeter because of that. I wanted to do my darnedest to help others experience that joy without having to encounter the needless hardships - hardships that were needless simply because I didn't have the INFORMATION and the SUPPORT.
My hair was curly like yours, Rick, when it was short. It seemed to take forever to grow down, because the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, and my hair chose to travel the distance in circles. I didn't know how to take care of long hair, and fine curly hair needs the tenderest of care, so it was breaking off not far below my shoulders. Once I learned to care for my mane, it took off nicely, and now I have strands that come within two inches of my waist, which is darned good for a man in his late 50s. And I don't have a single split end as far as I can tell!
Would I trade my mane for one with thick straight hair? Nope! It's a part of me, and I wouldn't want someone else's mane any more than I'd want someone else's nose. Curly hair is cool. It gives your head a lot of interest, often becoming mildly wavy at the top as gravity pulls down on its growing weight, and with its curls now growing to a crescendo at the ends. I'm now a firm believer in the idea that no man's hair will look better on your head than YOURS. The minute you try to have someone else's hair all you'll do is ruin yours while not coming close to looking like theirs in the first place. You won't succeed for long, anyway, because "having someone else's hair" is very rough on yours.
Sorry I came close to frightening you off with my comment that curly hair won't grow as long as straight hair, but the truth is, it generally won't. You can get more bulk up near your head (where people notice your hair most) than can the straight-haired, though, and curly hair can be much more interesting! And you sure CAN grow it long enough that EVERYONE will see you as a longhair. Hell, I don't have to have the biggest mane in town, I'm just glad to have one. I never trim it, and it has grown to terminal length. Anyone can see I have ALL my NATURAL God-given hair! Terminal hair is awesome because each mane is unique. Mine is uniquely me. To me, that is what being a longhair is all about.
Celebrate it curly! And celebrate it long!
Bill
When did you start to grow your hair long can I ask?
Can't help but refrain myself. Curly, Straight.......whatever. You have "dynamite to die for hair" which looks fabulous on you. :-)
I always had it "longish" since about 1970, but I never really let 'er grow until 1996. The link shows my hair a few months after I had given up trimming. You can see how curly it is and also how damaged it looked. Also, for a brief time at the outset I had quit trimming the back but not the top, so it had a mulletesque appearance. [grin]
Hi Bill,
Thanks for noticing and following up on my post. I saw your picture from 1996 that you posted elsewhere in this thread and I have to say that your hair looks a lot like mine; the way it is right now. Sometimes I can get it to appear only wavy, but usually it doesn't last and when I don't do anything with it I get a very similar look.
What do I need to do, since my hair is curly, to best take care of it? I become concerned whenever I lose hair, because I don't know if the loss is normal or if it is due to me not doing something right. I also worry about how to properly straighten it out (using my hands or a comb) since I anticipate tangling to be even more of a problem in the future. I would also like to note that my hair is particularly greasy. How often should shampoo and conditioner be used?
It's a bit hard to tell in your picture with a darker background, but do you start to lose the "volume" on top when your hair starts hanging down more? Also, how common is it for the curls to "loosen up" when the hair is longer like yours? I notice this particularly on your right in the picture, since that hair is not resting on anything. I am hoping for something that looks like that.
Thanks,
Rick
The most important thing when you have curly hair is to not do too much. [grin] Don't comb it unless it is wet, because water provides lubrication. The curls will stick together and make ringlets instead of frizz when it is combed wet. Then, don't comb it again all day if you can help it, because you will get frizz if you comb it dry. Whenever you get frizz, you are also getting damage.
Well, you will lose more and more hair (in mass of the wad of hair) as your hair grows longer. The number of strands you lose should not be any more, but since each strand is longer, you'll think you are losing more. Also, if you don't take care of your hair, you will get some loss from "breakage", but that usually happens near the ends of the strands you have, and it does not contribute much to the hair mass, because strands that break near their ends are short.
Just straighten it out when you are combing, by pulling down on the ends. Don't try to straighten it out otherwise. Just let it do its thing.
That is the toughest question for any longhair to get answered. All you can do is experiment, because each of us has his own unique combination of hair type and oiliness. The last thing you want is "dry", so back off on the temperature of the water, the frequency of the washings, or the harshness of the shampoo, if you find you are getting dryness. If it helps you decide, a poll on here a few years ago indicated that most longhairs wash their hair two or three times a week. I probably wash mine more, because it gets frizzy due to drying out, otherwise. However, I almost always wash only in water. This is less harsh, so I can wash more often. This lets me get a nice gentle wet combing many mornings that I would otherwise have to forego.
Yeah, that happens to most of us curly types, I'd bet. We've seen a lot of pictures of Jesus this week, it being Easter, and I've noticed that most of them have his hair just like you describe - more straight and less volume on top, more curly and more volume lower down. WWJD? Have hair like you and me. [grin]
I bet you'll get it! Curls tend to loosen up when gravity exerts its force on long hair! If you wonder why it works this way, take a Slinky and hold on to it from the top and let it uncoil below your hand. You will notice that the top coils get way more separated than the bottom coils do. Presume it has 100 coils. The top coil has the weight of 99 coils pulling down on it. The middle coil only has the weight of 50 coils pulling down on it. The bottom coil has no coils at all pulling down on it. Since a Slinky spreads out in relation to how hard it is pulled on, the top will "relax" more than the bottom. Your hair will act the same way.
Hope this helps. Good luck growing your curly mane!
Hi Bill, I wasn't sure if you'd notice my reply...
How does frizz relate to damage? Has damage already occurred when hair looks frizzy or will messing with frizzy hair damage it?
The reason I asked this is primarily because you mentioned in the guide on your website that curly hair is weaker. I am very careful about not pulling too hard when my hair is all "bunched together" or tangled because the last thing I want to do is break it off. When dry, the strands don't break or anything when I pull on them.
Generally, this has been working for me. My hair goes from looking quite flat and eventually looks curlier as the day goes on without doing anything to it. When I don't do anything to it after a shower, it basically looks like an afro all day.
It is OK for me to wet my hair every morning, correct? That is how I have been keeping it looking decent during the day, as mentioned above. Should I be using a conditioner? If so, how often should this be used in relation to the shampoo?
Of the comments I've received about growing my hair long, one was that my hair would never go down and would continually grow upward in the way that it is going now. In other words, someone basically told me that my "afro" would keep getting bigger and bigger and I would never see my hair falling down towards my shoulders.
That is an excellent way to describe it, and it helped a lot. I bet it varies on how heavy the hair is, though. Going along with what I said above, I am hoping that my hair turns out to be heavy so that I don't end up with hair that won't want to stay down. Or does this never happen? Please tell me it doesn't...
When I was searching the Web for examples recently, I found a QuickTime video clip of some guy with long, curly hair that looks really nice. Seeing it has been quite inspiring and I hope that I can someday have hair like that. On the front page title he says it's curly naturally. What do you think of it?
Thanks,
Rick
This other, higher resolution, video shows Steve again with another long-haired guy.
It's hard to believe at first that longer hair is easier to to manage than shorter hair is. Do you have any idea of what it's going to look like when its longer? I'm hoping that my curls won't be too "tight" as that would be worse for length. I am baffled by how, currently, one side of the top of my head almost rests in a "wave" after combing it out when it's wet but the other side curls up more.
-->> I wouldn't think long curly hair is going to be easy to deal with than short curly hair. Curly hair gets tangled more easily. I hope you don't get discouraged if you really want to have long hair.
Check out this picture of a guy with very tight long curls from a previous post. I like the look of his hair. It is obvious he uses curl tamer gels or some similar product on his hair.
lol, you must really like these guys, any excuse to post them up isnt it lol:d
is that ear wax in the third pic? [vomits] lol
There, I fixed it. Why don't you pick on somebody with hair your own length? ;-)