new thread
I'm seriously thinking of trimming my beard back to the style shown in this picture. Note that I'm not planning to cut my hair. Just my beard. I'm curious what people here think of this move.
both pics are good but i think without a beard suits you the best.
I'm NOT suggesting shaving, just trimming.
sorry, i mean with second pic
I think you should keep the beard, but if you decide to shave it back to what it was, then you should take a picture with your beard braided in a cool way, like Gimli from Lord of the Rings, before you do :).
Well, I don't have near the amount of whiskers that Gimli had. There's no way I could accomplish something like that. I could do something, though, and I probably should, since that's actually the reason I grew it long in the first place.
I'm curious what people here think of this move.
It's good to be able to see your jawline more clearly. If nothing else, I'm sure you'll enjoy the change if you do decide to trim it down.
I personally think you look better without the long beard. Obviously this is completely subjective though, and it doesn't really matter what I (or anyone else) think!
I agree. I think you look better with the shorter beard. I wouldn't wear a beard myself though.
But don't touch that hair! :)
Thanks all the effort & work you put into this site.
Regards Marc
The length of your beard seems to somewhat distract from your hair. With it shorter, your hair has become more prominent. Just my own opinion though. I would imagine the change you are contemplating has to do with comfort? Peace!
Whilst your long beard is amazing, I think the shorter beard gives you a better look, sharper more distinguished.
I recently trimmed my longer beard (not nearly as long as yours) and, while I don't regret the decision, I do miss it a bit. I am happier with the "look" of the shorter beard, but I suppose that'snot why I miss the long beard.
Anyway, I documented the trim on my website.
cheers, Pete
I've had to face the same thing as my hair gets longer. When my hair was short, I used to like to sometimes sport the stubble look...you know...kind of like I may or may not have just gotten off my horse or motorcycle and am most likely a badass. It really just doesn't give the same impression when my hair is long, so I go clean shaven most of the time now. I guess I'm saying that it is just one of those things about long hair...your facial hair will change the impression it gives even if you haven't changed it physically.
And for what its worth, I think the shorter beard looks great...more dignified. However, you certainly look good with a long beard too, so wear what is the most 'you'.
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To tell you the truth, I'm a bit surprised at the responses I'm getting. But let me tell you what triggered my initial post (names changed to protect the innocent).
There's a girl (not) named Mona that I've been interested in for quite some time now. I don't think I've mentioned her before here. Last night I was sitting with a few friends at the bar where she waitresses, and the topic of my beard came up in conversation. She said she wouldn't want to kiss someone with a beard like I have. Of course, this got me immediately to thinking that that was a big hint.
When she left, her roommate, Penelope, who was sitting next to me said that she thought I should trim my beard because she knew Mona would be more likely to go out with me that way. Well, I've gone out with her already. I took her to see "Phantom of the Opera" and a couple of other things.
At one point Penelope left, and I mentioned to Max what we'd just talked about. His reaction was, "What does a beard have to do with kissing?" Actually, this topic comes up occasionally in the beard forums. Generally, longer beards are considered better because they're not as prickly. But I suspect in my case, it's strictly a visual thing.
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If that picture is Mona - Or she looks anything like that - then if I were you, the beard would be off in a second. (Do I sound too 'easy?')
But hey - I'm not you. You're not me.
Seriously though, from what your saying your 'beard goals' seem to have been acheived, and your goals with Mona haven't.
I think that's gonna factor your decision - but (not wanting to be the harbinger of doom,) she may still not want to kiss you without the long beard. You know as well as anyone that you have to make your choices for yourself and not for others.
Good Luck getting the girl.
Certainly.
She already has, although my face was veiled with my own hair at the time.
Yep.
Thanks. This whole "getting the girl" thing is new to me. The first time I ever asked a girl out I was rejected. I took the rejection way too hard and didn't ask another girl out until I got married. The girl I married started the relationship that time. I proposed and she accepted, reluctantly. Then it was her decision to end the marriage (is there a lesson there?). Mona's the only other girl I've ever asked out. It took Boomhauer on "King of the Hill" to bring me to my senses, believe it or not.
You take relationship advice from a cartoon?
You really need to get out more, man.
hehe
No. But there was an episode that got me to thinking. Over a few days of thinking about it, I realized upon self examination that my own behavior was irrational. It's still difficult for me to make a phone call even when I know the odds of a positive answer are very good. And it's not just that I hate talking on the phone. But this is really no different than anything else. I just need excercise. I hope you know what I mean.
To a degree, yes.
If I were you, I would simply pursue a casual friendship with her, and maintain that. You said it yourself, your first priority is your kids. Right now it sounds like the two of your are just flirting. That's healthy, and natural. Be careful about thinking too far ahead though. If what you have with Mona looks like it could get serious, and she's still uncomfortable with the beard, then it'll be time to talk more about it with her.
If all you're looking to be able to do is enjoy some lip-lock, well... the only question left, then, is which do you value more? Your beard, or Mona? Your choice will dictate your next course of action.
Good luck!
MOST chicks definetly aren't into the long-bearded man look.. So if you're trying to find a mate, chopping it won't HURT you. But I can offer you two peices of advice.
#1) Girls ARE into guys that do what they want without any excuses. Be yourself, be a man and dont apologize for any of it.
#2) Do not EVER make a dramatic change because you think it'll help your chances with one particular girl. Becuase if things dont work out, you're stuck with the change and nothing to show for it.
personally, I think you'd look better without the beard.. But I think long beards only look good when they're grey.
OK, we have a problem already here. I realize this is how most guys think, but I don't refer to girls as chicks, and it makes me uncomfortable. The word has the connotation that they are something to be pursued for sexual gratification. In my case, it's primarily the personal relationship I'm interested in. And as far as that goes, I generally just foster the relationship and let things proceed as they will.
Well, I'm not looking. My first priority is my daughter, who has her 16th birthday on the 22nd of this month. Until very recently, the thought of dating hadn't even crossed my mind. First was the stress of getting over the divorce (well, firster getting through it). When I got custody of my kids, the priority changed to looking out for them, and that has been my focus ever since.
On the other hand, it is very rare that you meet someone with whom you truly click. And Mona and I do. I decided it would be foolish of me to just let the opportunity slip by. At the very least, I want to make sure we keep in touch.
Generic rules about girls don't have much sway with me, actually. If girls tend to be one way and it's a way that doesn't mesh with me, then it's irrelevant.
This is good advice for lots of things. I learned this about hunting for a job, for example. I once went through a 2 week training class to be a math teacher for Project Seed, which teaches college math to inner city 3rd graders, but I won't get into that. Anyway, when I took my first turn at playing the role of teacher, I was criticized for crossing my sevens. I've not crossed a seven since.
Well, my beard is getting grey very quickly. One person suggested I switch to a goatee. Well, having just a goatee would put me at nearly all white.
Picture Purged
hey,there is nothing wrong with a long grey beard
to me long beards (any color) look good and they are so nice and soft
I think your long hair and long beard look very good
you look like a natural man that way not like some of those
clones I see running around
Picture Purged
It is. By the way, she took this picture of me to illustrate what happens to my beard when I'm shooting pool. Unfortunately, the camera was focused on the ceiling.
My guy friend has beautiful super longer hair than me!
I had beautiful brown long hair like him before though...
I'm jealous of him!
He said he's going to sell his hair...
I think I've inserted this comment into the most appropriate part of the thread.
Since I originally started this thread (actually starting a little earlier), I've been conducting an informal poll about whether I should trim my beard and by how much. I've noticed an interesting trend. It seems that the closer someone knows me, the more likely they are to suggest I leave my beard alone. The exception is the waitress who Mona replaced. She initially stated that I should leave it alone and then yesterday called me up to tell me that she'd changed her vote and that I should trim my beard. That's not where the plot thickens, however.
For the past week, Mona has been out of town with some family. I called her while she was out of town, and I told her there was something I needed to talk about but that I didn't want to talk about it over the phone. I wanted to talk to her about if face to face.
Well, I saw her tonight, and she told me she was afraid I had cut off my hair. She thought that's why I wanted to talk to her in person. Then she told me later that I shouldn't cut my hair or my beard.
Hmmm. This is interesting not only because of what's on the face of what she said but also what's happening behind the scenes. Why would she jump to such a conclusion? In fact, what I wanted to talk to her about is unrelated to anything we have talked about in the past. I seriously doubt she'd be able to guess what it's about. On the other hand, when someone tells you they have a secret, you tend to speculate what it might be.
But now I'm curious why she would have suspected I might have cut my hair and/or beard. I'm betting there's some chatter going on behind my back that I'm unaware of.
I hope to uncover more of this tomorrow. And I better stop writing about this until I've had more sleep.....
Hello Victor,
Perhaps you could mention to Not Mona that you are thinking of trimming your beard to a shorter length and see what her advice is. That could help gauge her interest in either the beard or you. We like you here, how could she not?
If you do go shorter, the idea of going a little bit at a time does sound prudent. Even to an older kid, change in a parent can be difficult to get used to. Smaller length reductions also will let you not be so shocked by the changes. You might find some other length you like along the way. This is a great opportunity to experiment.
Should you end up with the shorter beard as pictured, quite handsome by the way, and all goes well with the Not Mona then being prickly would not be a problem. If she ends up nutty about you you are worth any prickles! Anyway, she could always suggest you grow the beard out longer if the prickles become a problem. :-)
It would be a shame if she never got the chance to get to be crazy for you all due to a beard length you now seem undecided about anyway.
Elizabeth
Oh, and you do have her permission to post her photo, right? You don't want to mess up your relationship before it gets started.
Elizabeth,
When I see your name I always think, "The queen is dead. Long live the queen!" BTW, I'm interested in how you pronounce Regina. My mother grew up in Saskatchewan, so I pronounce it the way the Saskatchewan city is pronounced (rhymes with vagina), not the way US citizens mostly pronounce it (rhymes with patina).
I actually pronounce it the other way but could not resist the subject line opportunity. I get my news off Canadian radio but have the decidedly unroyal accent of an American.
(cuz she's out of town until then)
She's seen the pictures at http://the-light.com/Victor/victor.html and suggested a particular one. However, not having had a screen in front of us at the time, I don't know which one it was. She did say she liked the one with the bluebonnets, and she says she likes mullets, but I'm not getting a mullet again. That style was imposed by my ex-wife, by the way. OK. Maybe imposed is too strong a word. Although she wouldn't admit it now, she's the one who initially suggested I grow my hair out. I let her cut it however she wanted it.
I disagree. OK, maybe it CAN be, but that would be an exception. I remember back in the early 70s when my dad cut off his beard. He shaved it completely off, but none of us kids knew he had done it. When my brother and I went to the kitchen, we saw him, and my brother said, "Mommy, look. There's a burgler in the house!" Well, of course he wasn't a burgler, and after a few minutes everyone had calmed down. My dad was still my dad. He just looked weird for a few days.
Besides, I let my daughter chop and dye her hair. She went from butt-length to bob. What I'm proposing would be just about as radical as that.
Well, I had the opportunity to experiment on the way down, you know.
I personally prefer a shorter beard with long hair. I think your shorter beard in the photo looks great! But, don't cut your hair!
Thanks for keeping this site running. It's great!
I think you should keep the long hair and the long beard
I like it alot. Reason? (And this is purely from an artistic standpoint.) The Long Hair with a shorter Beard brings about a more striking contrast to the whole, resulting in a more dynamite look to show the Long Hair at its best. But please.......with me one has to consider the source. :-)
I'm going to have to go with trimmed on this one.
Both look great, but I would lean toward the trimmed beard. I'm sure you've alread thought of the practical aspects of the long beard, for me that would be the deciding factor. I think it would drive me crazy with some of my activities.
I'd recommend the two week rule. In fact, I'd use a well-known scheduling method (double the number, increase to next unit) to give the 4 month rule (;-)
My former girlfriend loved my long hair but hated the beard. I wouldn't change for someone else's sake - she needs to like you the way you are.
Ed
As an artist I am trained to follow my intincts & first impressions:
My instinct & first impression JUST said: DO IT!
Reasons:
1. The shorter beard gives your face more 'character' and seems to suit you better.
2. The contrast between the shorter beard length and your long hair...
makes it look even LONGer!
You would look great withNO sideburns.
Seems to be a tough decision. I personally lie the long beard with your long hair. However change is good and your beard can always grow back. Maybe cutting it off in stages is something to consider.
I considered it. In fact, during lunch today I informed my daughter that I was likely going to trim my beard. She asked me what that meant, and I held up my fingers indicating an inch. She seemed unimpressed. So I said that's how much I was going to leave. Well, THAT got a reaction.
She's seen me that way before, of course, but it's been a long time. Given her reaction, I suggested taking off an inch a day until it was back to that level. This would take about three weeks. It would be gradual to her, but not to just about anyone else.
Oh, and about the 2-week rule for anyone else who may have mentioned it, that has elapsed already.
Picture Purged
Perhaps a long goatee, ala Egyptian pharaoh style? It would allow for the contrast, while still maintaining the impressive length (dude, you've got some serious bragging rights!)
That "Ball" Guy
You've got a gap there yourself (between sideburns and goatee). How do you decide where to stop?
When I still had the goatee, I would shave straight down from the corners of my lips. Alas, I don't have enough facial hair yet to grow any impressive goatee.
Personally, I'd keep the beard but perhaps just trim it back to chest length if you keep the ends neat, it will look good. (Wish I could acheive the look myself!)
How are you defining chest length? My chest goes from here to here (gesticulates).
hehe, well my initial thought was top of pecs, ie collarbone, or just underneath. But you have such room to move here- you've got a terminal length beard so you have many more options than just 'very long' or 'very short'. I just think it would be a shame to cut it so short (my personal opinion only).
And regarding this woman you're after: the general consensus is that "women don't like men with long beards", just as statistically, "women don't like men with long hair" but I've heard from many women who do like beards, even longer beards, as long as they're kept neat. That's why I suggested trimming. If this woman has indicated some interest to you in any way, she is NOT one who dislikes beards, IMO.
Hope this helps and good luck.
Below is a picture of what I mean (if it works). His long beard looks neat and well groomed.
Hmmm. I have a problem with this definition since my chin rests on my chest just below my collar bone. If I'm looking directly ahead, my chin is less than an inch higher than the bottom of the v in my collar bone.
That's a good point and one I have considered. Nevertheless, I've hear it from the horse's mouth, so to speak. I haven't discussed it with her yet, and her comment may simply have been a flippant remark. Interestingly, the night she made this remark, I was sitting with a friend of mine who has hair nearly as long as mine, but he's beardless. She doesn't care for him at all. In fact she dislikes him. But it's not the beard. It's the personality.
Thanks.
David's beard is incredibly thick. I don't have anywhere near his thickness. Not only that, his soulpatch area is entirely filled out. Perhaps it would be better to choose an example from this set.
By the way, for those of you who never read Darren's beard board or its replacement that used to be hosted here, or the various other beard boards, one thing frequently pointed out is that very short beards are prickly, and can be uncomfortable for someone kissing the bearded person. Growing the beard out helps in this regard.
One thing I'm not going to do is to shave my beard off completely. I get (or used to anyway) ingrown hairs when I do that. And the worst place for ingrown hairs is the neck where many bearded folks shave anyway in order not to look scruffy.
Okay, to choose a pic: perhaps this length and perhaps trimmed a bit shorter on the side edges to give a slightly more 'rounded' look to the beard. That will now be my 'official' vote, lol
That picture was taken on the very same trip as this whale skull picture, which shows what my beard looked like from the front.
Why not trim just the moustache and leave the beard?
I guess I need to post a more current photo. I've had a trimmed moustache for quite a while now.
Wow, the beard GOD thinking of trimming... I am sad.
How about keeping the length and doing a wide goatee?
It would be a crime to loose that length!
It's funny. Some people call what I have a goatee. One problem I have with real goatees is that they require shaving. I don't want to shave because of the ingrown hair problem I have if I do. Also, the very tip of my chin is not where the longest hairs are, which is why my beard naturally cleaves in half.
I've never worn a goatee before, though, so I'll give this some serious thought.
Why don't you try tying the beard up like I have for years. Then you can wear it short or long as you please. Nobody has ever guessed that I tie it up unless I reveal it to them. Also, tying it up will help the terminal length grow longer since a long wispy beard worn loose is very vulnerable.
Even tied up, I think I have now reached my terminal length which is about 4 inches below the belt, or 24 inches total. The tied up length is about 1.5 inches below the chin. Although I have reached terminal length, I see on problem with continuing to tie the beard up since I enjoy wearing it loose whenever I can.
I'll see if I can recover some of the old pics that show how I tie it up, or generate some new ones with the digital cam.
Anyway, I wish you well however you decide. I once cut my beard short (around 1997), but after that day haven't cut it since.
Pete
Awesome! Love to see those pics!
Pete,
I was wondering if you were following this thread. I still have your tie-up instructions somewhere, and I was going to try your technique a time or two before trimming. If you don't post them, I can dig them up and post them. I think I'm also pretty close to 24 inches, although I haven't measured lately.
One thing I actually do regularly is to tie my beard up so:
Pinch my beard together at, or slightly above, my navel.
Grasp the length below the pinch and wind it around the portion of the beard above the pinch. Keep winding until I run out of length. Then let go.
The result is a longish, but trim looking beard with a crimp at the end. If I let this go after a while, the end portion remains curly.
Pete,
Here are the pictures I have of your technique. They're probably not in the right order, and maybe there are better pictures to serve as illustrations. Anyway, this would be a good starting point. Maybe you can use this pictures as a starting point for a textual description.
Wow, thatnks for digging these up. They must have been from when I first started tying my beard up since it is so much shorter in the pics than it is now.
Unfortunately, things are really busy for me these days so it's hard to get the time to put together and upload pics. But I will get it done by this weekend!
My technique, verbally, is thus:
Take two small ponytail elastics. Say about one inch in diameter.
Use the first elastic to ponytail your beard, with the elastic tied tightly about two inches below the chin.
Then roll up the beard below the elastic into a tight roll and use the second elastic to secure this roll into a little ball. This ball will now hang an additional inch or so below the where the beard is tied up by the first elastic.
Then roll up everything right under the middle of your chin so that both elastics disappear from view. Secure with two bobby pins that passd through the ball. You will need to experiment to make this tight enough to look neat, but not so tight as to be uncomfortable. Believe me, nobody will know that you have tied up your beard unless they look right under your chin (of course, being a shorter than average person may help me here!).
Good luck!
I've been keeping an informal poll on this issue offline as well, and I seem to detect a trend:
The more someone knows me, the less likely they are to favor a trim. Tonight I polled people at Mona's workplace (she wasn't working tonight). The majority thought I should keep my beard as is. Those that didn't don't know me.
You have a magnificent beard and I think you should keep it. I am currently growing mine and you are an inspiration to me. Absalom
I think it was already mentioned on this thread, but I would love to see a photo of your beard braided in some style before you trim/cut/whatever.
That "Ball" Guy
