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My 15 year old brother wears his hair past his waist. He is very small and he looks feminine. I am trying to get him to cut his hair. Our mother thinks he should leave it long if he likes it that way. Sometimes he will wear a long braid. I think he likes looking like a girl. I have spoken to him several times but he wont listen to me. Do you have any suggestions?
Mark:
Hawkman
If your brother is happy with his looks and his hair then why try to change him. Many men now a days are wearing their hair long and why shouldn't they? For many years it was unacceptable in society to have long hair and now I am glad to see that long hair is finally accepted. You should be glad that your brother is his own person and will not change for society's sake. I am pleased to see that your mother supports him in his decision. A lot of men associate long hair with feminity and this should not be the case. The men that have a problem with long hair should realize that masculinity and feminity have nothing to do with looks it's all in the way they carry themselves and if they are afraid or dislike long hair it's because they have not acquired the masculinity they so desire. So instead of disapproving of your brother, stand by him and defend him because he is not afraid of society and how others view him. You should respect him for this.
Thank you,
Certainly long hair should not be equated with femininity, but in some cases, there is a link. His brother may be a feminine male, or even transgendered. There is nothing wrong with genetic males who have overwhelmingly female personalities (or vice-versa) except in the minds of a bi-polar society that dictates what a "man" or a "woman" should be. People need the freedom to be THEMSELVES in dress, appearance, interests, personality, etc., without condemnation. The greatest minds and souls that have walked this planet are usually individuals who in many ways live contrary to what is "expected" of them.
is very small and he looks feminine. I am trying to get him
to cut his hair. Our mother thinks he should leave it long
if he likes it that way. Sometimes he will wear a long
braid. I think he likes looking like a girl. I have
spoken to him several times but he wont listen to me. Do
you have any suggestions?
Oh, please - do you really expect us to believe this? If
it's true, why don't you post a picture? You, and most of
the other people here, are so full of bull it's not funny.
its important to let a person grow up in their own way. if he likes long hair
let him have it. i grew up with long hair and still have it.
do u have a pic of him to share w/ us?
Personally, I think the best suggestion is to leave him alone. I don't
know why you have a problem with him being looking "feminine" After all,
it is he who has to live with the way he chooses to look, not you. I should
point out (if you are concerned by this) that there is absolutely no
co-relation between a man looking "feminine" and being gay. I know many
gay men who make Hells Angels bikers look like soft teddy bears - and
many straight men who like wearing makeup!
One point to bear in mind: If it is "feminine" for a man to have long hair
because women normally have it long, then is it also "feminine" for a
man to be clean-shaven because women also don't have beards?
Or, is it "feminine" for a man to have a beard (i.e. not to shave his face) because women do not shave their faces?
> My 15 year old brother wears his hair past his waist.
> I am trying to get him to cut his hair.
> Our mother thinks he should leave it long if he likes it that way.
You asked for help, and despite I have long Hair too I tell you
something that really works to convince him!
It may sound strange, and requires some work for yourselve, but think about it befor you drop my advice!
Well here it is: just let your own Hair grow long.
Brother always tend to do things the oposite way.
It worked for my younger brother althoug I dont wanted it.
And if you have the long hair in probably 2-3 years your brothers beard
will grow ( and some other things will happen too ) which makes it hard for a
feminine look anyway.
Take heart, it may not last forever. He may grow tired of the length, or a girl may coming to his life and change everything... to say nothing of what hormones will do. If you're pushing the issue he may be pushing back by NOT cutting. For now, if he is fine with it don't fight it youself. Okay you say his small stature and long hair add up to make him look feminine [this might also assume he is handsome enough to look 'pretty']. Have you told him why it is that how he looks bothers you [I'm sure the other people posting are also curious]? I don't quite agree with Jens' opposites-approach, but the beard idea may help. I agrre with Walter that your support now may make it easier for him to cut it later [although don't expect it to all go in one sitting, people sometimes 'cut back' gradually, taking some of the personal sting out of the process]. I echo Hawkman in that I wish my parents felt the same way when I was that age. I might even have gotten it out of system by now... might have. When and if he does get it cut, don't make TOO big a deal over it, that could lead to additional resentment. Heres an idea, let him check out this sight for giving his side, he may at least think you being fair about it and may come closer to your way of thinking... just don't expect miricales. On a more humourus note, he might shave half of it off and say, "There, now we can both be happy". But I don't think so.