new thread
My closest friend JT, who had long hair as long as I had known him, recently got it cut off for a multitude of legitimate reasons. He sings with the local Gay Men's chorus and showed up at rehearsal last night for the first time with short hair.
He was really fabbergasted by the great many men at chorus who were upset with him for cutting it. The curious thing is, these were all young urban gay men, all with short hair. These guys represent the archetypes to which the "Fab 5" tend to gravitate.
JT and I have tried to understand why so many of these guys, who themselves do not partake in the fashion, were so ademant that JT shoult NOT have changed. What is going on here?
Our theory is that these guys secretly desire to "break from the crowd" and live vicariously though those of us who do. But there is such strong peer pressure among the "gay community" that they dare not rebel. If our theory is at all true, could it be that Queer Eye itself is ready for a makeover???
I, personally have always thought they were a little over the deep end on always wanting to cut a guy's long hair. It appeared the wanted the biggest 'bang' for their buck and so went for the cheap make over change of cutting long hair short- regardless of whether that was the right thing to do for that individual. We all know how different you can make someone look by going from long hair to short- and they cashed in on that.
QEFASG: "Today we are going to makeover our latest specimen: John. Hello, John."
JOHN: "Hi."
QEFASG: "But before we redo John's wardrobe, we'd like him to grow his hair to mid-back.
So, John...could you come make in 2 - 3 years?"
JOHN: "Gee, isn't that quite a long time? I mean, I'd like a makeover TODAY, if you don't mind."
QEFASG: "Well, THAT doesn't leave us much choice, now does it?
We could either leave it the length it is, and just style it...
or we could cut it short.
Yeah, guess we'll cut it SHORT..."
Lol - Sounds about right.
They are actually bringing Queer Eye to Britain on Sky One so we can now finally see what the real deal is with this show.
This means I can watch it in Tenerife via Satellite (just inside SKY's footprint down here.)
Oh its actually on now... on uk living, I watched it the other day. I like the way that you can actually recognise the brands they're recommending.... dunno if its as good as the US one tho yet....
I strongly agree with your theory that most men (straight and gay) live vicariously through others who are often viewed as "living on the edge" or "living outside the realm of normal customs" and that includes having long hair.
It's interesting to note that more and more men (and women) are getting tattoos. Getting a tattoo is now considered quite acceptable. And more people are getting facial piercings. How many men do you see wearing pierced earrings? I'd say it would be safe to say that at least one-third to one-half of all young men today have pierced ears. And stretched earlobes are becoming more and more prevelant.
A tattoo can be had in an hour or so. Pierced ears takes only seconds. But having long hair takes a long time to achieve. So perhaps some of the ornamentation provided by tattoos and piercings are ways of "living on the edge" without having to put in all the time (and work) of having long hair.
All of the points you make in your post are valid. Very true, indeed!
If I had a nickel for every time a guy told me he'd like to - pick one:
Have tattoos like I do
Have body piercings like I do
Have the attitude and guts I do
Have the long hair I do
Etc, etc, etc
I'd be a rich man for sure!
I'm not so sure I'd say they live vicariously through people like us, but they all wish they had the inner strength to have the courage we show. Let's face it, long hair is far from the norm, and it takes guts to be a longhair. This is especially true if you're new to having long hair. Fortunately for me, I've had long hair for so many years that it's no big deal anymore. I'm also fortunate to already be a gainfully employed professional with a wealth of experience, making employment no issue.
Like someone pointed out before, when we see covers of romance novels, when we see epic movies and heroes, when we see brave and strong men - they are depicted as having long hair!
Did the long hair/tattoos/piercings come before or after tenure? Either way I can imagine your unapologetic attitude, for there is nothing to apologize for, has stood you well in what can be a conservative profession. That "take me as I am because I know my worth" confidence is all too rare and I commend you for it. Teaching high school is in your favor however, I am trying to picture you as an elementary school teacher or even preschool and sadly I can not imagine parents seeing past their ruffian stereotype to your credentials.
Elizabeth
At our local primary school one of the teachers has long hair and a beard, and I have never heard the slightest criticism of him. I don't think he has tatoos or earrings, but if he had the former they probably wouldn't be seen, and I don't think the latter would be seen as any sort of big deal.
I have taught at the middle school level for 20 years now, and for most of that have had long hair. Are there comments? Well indirectly- never to my face. I have heard things like "My mom says..." from a couple of kids. A couple of comments filtering down from others about looking 'unprofessional' by what I thought were close friends.
What I now notice has to go along with the 'Knowing Your Worth' mentality. As my confidence has grown about being good at what I do- I don't seem to have gotten the comments.
I have always taken pains to dress above the norm- and that has gone in my favor too.
Hello whtviking,
Your comment about clothes makes me think of somebody's recent idea here but the attribution eludes me. (Sorry, good idea person!) Their theory was along the lines that people make allowances for around one weird thing about a person. Long hair may be acceptable by itself but then if other out-of-the-ordinary factors are present the level of acceptance may be less. For people that don't already know the person this sounds reasonable. Once known by a good reputation one can have several oddities about them and be safely classified as eccentric.
Elizabeth
Yep- Ylou are right. You said it well. I've got a least a couple of things you could call a quirk- so I guess I am moving towards eccentric!
Hello elektros,
Our primary music teacher has had a little wavy snub of a ponytail the whole time he as taught at my school and it never has been an issue. Luckily we get to be casually dressed for the most part which means a forearm tattoo would get exposed on short sleeved days if he had one. Not sure the parents would be ready for that under the inane excuse that their kid would then want one.
Elizabeth
