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I seem to find myself being overly sensitive to people's remarks about my hair. How can I not let a person's comments bother me, even when they don't have bitter intentions. For example, the other day someone said she knew some people who wanted to cut my hair. ( in a jokingly way )I tried to laugh and take it as it was, a joke, but it was hard to hide the awkwardness of it. Also I'm trying to find new, fresh, humorous responses when people ask me how long I'm going to grow my hair without sounding rude. How can I respond to situations where people kind of "put me on the spot" and point out something about my hair and they sometimes make me feel awkward? It is tough and especially when with a group of people cause then suddenly they are all looking at me for how I will respond to some joke that one of them makes.
Any help would be greatly appreciated!
Also whats the best way to avoid and prevent clumps/tangles in the hair?
will
I usually tell people that I don't know how long I want to grow it, but I'm "nowhere near done, yet." Insofar as your "personal sensitivity," you'll get used to it soon... It must not have ever bothered me that much. I don't quite know what to tell you. Since it's personal, it'd be hard for anyone here to tell you how to interpret things, as every situation is different. You just have to take humor as humor, and let the rest fall where it may.
Hi Will
I'm sure your sensitivity to comments about your hair will deminish, especially when you get positive feedback.
For me, the best kind of reassurance I get is from Women, (being straight their opinions about my appearance are infinitely more important to me than a Guys.) And lets face it they are the Long Hair experts as a rule.
Ask a few female friends what they think, tell them your long hair goals and listen to their advice, you'll probably pick up some tips and get some valuable reassurance.
As for comebacks, well... mostly no witt involved just common sense.
"When are you getting a hair cut?"
> I'm not for a while, I'm Growing my hair, cuts are counterproductive.
"Why are you growing your hair?"
> Cos I want to.
"You'll look Gay."
> Really... how many Gay people do you know?
"You'll look like Girl."
> Yeah Right? 6'1, 175lbs, unshaven... bet you'll fall for me.
"You look like a hippie"
> Yeah Peace Pro *V sign rather than peace sign*
Anyone threatends to cut your hair - ask them how they'd feel if they ruined something they spend 2 years working on. (Or however long you've been growing.)
Don't stand for the digs, just treat them with a mature attitude or with retorical responses.
AS for tangles & clumbs: Condition, comb gently, use leave in conditioner, comb or finger rake at intervals throughout the day.
(sorry long post hope it helps)
-Sorted-
Yeah Peace Pro *V sign rather than peace sign*
Sorted, some guys (& gals) don't know the difference between the two...perhaps you can elaborate :-)
Dear Sorted,
Women have no special inborn insight into hair care. The knowledge is learned from family or peers and long hair care is a vanishing art for the most part. I have certainly seen enough women tumble on the long hair boards and be clueless about the needs of long hair. Even at knee length when I found Internet sites full of information, it was all new to me. Though there are still more women with long hair than men at this time, the level of knowledge is likely similar for both groups.
Elizabeth
Hi Elizabeth,
You are most probably right, but lets face it, I'm 25 and its the first time in my life I have grown long hair. Most Women at 25 either still have long hair or have had long hair long hair in the past.
When it comes to growing hair, Men are almost always first-timers, (or second-timers who didn;t bother to take care of it and shaved it off.) Women are old hands at hair. Given the shortage of guys with long hair, when I need help or advice I tend to turn to Women and of course the hyperboard.
Lets face it, outside this little online community and hair salons, who can a Guy talk to about hair?
Admittedly having spent a year hanging around here, I probably know a little more about looking after hair than some of my female friends do, they seem to have no regard for the damage from tight hair ties, excessive product use & straightening and Blow Drying.
What annoys me is why their hair still always manages to look better than mine! :-(
Not to worry Sorted, you see your hair the closest and worry about the flaws meanwhile your observers only see the beauty. Same goes for the women you mention. Ask them what they think of their own hair and I bet you will hear the same concerns.
Elizabeth
Not giving a damn about what other people think , whether it be the length of your hair, or anything else about you ,comes with age and maturity, it's called self confidence.at some point you realize that defining who you are by what others think is laughable. as long as you are happy with your hair or whatever, truly what does it matter to anyone else?
Liam
bah... i would say just stop thinking about it. there's nothing you can do but remind constantly to yourself that it's not that bad whenever you feel you're losing it and giving in to strong emotions. oh and i don't see the point of "preparing" answers.... Just answer honestly and spontaneously each time it happens!
just do not comb them, within a few months you will not notice new tangles/clumps :-)
good luck, just try to stay calm and not get overwhelmed by anything (except bliss) :)
-vincent
I disagree with the above answer. My hair length is easily past mid-back now (see website for photos), and if I didn't comb out the tangles, I'd get MORE tangles! Only if you want to consider trying out dreadlocks would I recommend following the above advise. What I do to avoid tangles during the day is any one of the following: 1) tieing it back (I have to use multiple hair ties, not just one); 2) braiding it; 3) putting it up in a sort of twisted "bun" (if I had a photo of that to share, it would make more sense to see it!).
Also, conditioning generously after shampooing helps.
As far as the personal sensativity issue goes, I guarantee you that the older you get, the thicker the "crust", --- and before you know it, you won't care what comments someone else makes about your hair! As long as YOU love it long, other peoples' opinions will eventually fade into the far far distance (where they belong!)...
Take care. Happy growing!!!
- Ken
haha!
sorry it wasn't clear! it WAS meant as "knots will not be a problem if you accept them (grow natural locks)" :)
your tips do seem MUCH better if one really wants to avoid the natural tendency of hair to knot though!
-vincent
Hello Will,
People say things all the time without thinking. I don't see the intent mattering if the words have hurt or made you uncomfortable. Teacher that I am, I tend to look at most things as a learning experience. If the haircut joke was not entertaining for you then next time I'd suggest not laughing. Instead you could firmly state that your hair is important to you. I'd even go so far as to ask the person how they think you feel about haircut jokes now knowing this is something serious for you. If their intention is good, the jokes will stop after that conversation.
When people ask about your length plans there is no need to even answer. "Why do you ask?" is always an appropriate response because it reminds strangers that you hair length has nothing to do with them. Anyone that makes you feel awkward and on the spot can be responded to in a similar way with, "I am not sure what your intent is in telling me that. Could you explain what you were hoping my reaction to be?" For the person who just pointed out that your hair looks clumpy it might just get them to realize the comment was rude and pointless. The tacky jokes fall in this category too and can get the same response.
Elizabeth
AJAY
