HAVING FUN WITH RETORTS. :-)

HAVING FUN WITH RETORTS. :-)

Justin

"They know everything there is to know about everyone elses business.....but their own!"
How often one growing-out their hair is met by someone who doesn't have anything else to do but try and start an argument to get a rise out of you. WORST thing to do is argue. BEST thing to do is agree and turn it into a fun experience for youself and drive the troublemaker nuts.........for he has nowhere to go.
Below are some fun examples, some of which (in the past) I have used myself to fling someone over my shoulder and render him speechless. Hope you guys get a good laugh out of some of these retorts. :-)
Q. "When are you going to get a Haircut?"
A. "Just as soon as I get to the Barber Shop."
Q. "Your hair is getting so long you are starting to look like a Girl."
A. "Really?" That's great...........hope she is a pretty one.
Q. "Long Hair on Men is out! Did you know that?"
A. "No. Thank you so much for your kindness in letting me know."
Q. "Your hair is getting so long that pretty soon you won't be able to see where you're going."
A. "Ha ha ha..........I know. Isn't is funny?"
Q. "Why don't you buzz your hair like mine? I just wash it and leap out of the house."
A. "Cause I always think before I leap."
Q. "Your hair is getting so long now that a Bird could build a nest in it."
A. "Really? That's great! Hope it's the Goose that lays Golden Eggs."
Q. "Just think what other people are thinking about you with that hair."
A. "I have and am still thinking."
Q. "Your hair is a mess!"
A. "Yeah, I know.........and so isn't my life. But you can help me and pray for me every day. I just KNOW you are a very special caring person."
Q. "How long are you going to let your hair grow anyway?"
A. "I don't know........but could you please write your name and phone number down and I shall be sure to call you and let you know just as soon as I know."
Q. "Well.......with that hair of yours you might as well go all the way and buy yourself a pair of High Heels."
A. "I already have."
Q. "What are you trying to do anyway, look like Jesus?"
A. "Yes. He was so nice."
And now..........for a common mistake which might take place in a store when viewed from the back. In this case the person isn't trying to pick an argument.........but the retort is a scream!
Q. "Excuse me Miss."
A. "Surely." (Said in the highest voice you can.) The person looks back and the expression on his or her face is priceless.
And finally..........this one is a killer:
Q. "Are you a Girl?"
A. "Yes."
Q. "No you aren't."
A. "Yes I am."
Q. "You're not kiddin me."
A. "I'm not trying to."
Q. "You're a Boy!"
A. "No I'm not."
Q. "Yes you are!"
A. "No I'm not."
(This goes on and on. They finally give up and leave.)
Moral of it all: "To argue with a fool makes two fools."

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- LOL
  
  Tomas
  
  Good stuff, thanks for that!
  
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- Re: HAVING FUN WITH RETORTS. :-)
  
  Blonde
  
  Moral of it all: "To argue with a fool makes two fools."
  I like that, those were funny! ~Peace~ Blonde
  
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- Re: HAVING FUN WITH RETORTS. :-)
  
  Plooe
  
  Below are some fun examples, some of which (in the past) I have used myself to fling someone over my shoulder and render him speechless. Hope you guys get a good laugh out of some of these retorts. :-)
  Those were great! I've got some,too!
  Q. "When are you going to get a Haircut?"
  A. As soon as I decide which ONE I want to get cut!
  Q. "Your hair is getting so long you are starting to look like a Girl."
  A. She'd have to be a hermaphrodite because the rest of me's all-man!
  Q. "Long Hair on Men is out! Did you know that?"
  A. Don't worry! It'll come back in again one of these decades and when it does I'll be ready but you'll have to catch up!
  Q. "Your hair is getting so long that pretty soon you won't be able to see where you're going."
  A.By that time, I'll get a periscope!
  Q. "Why don't you buzz your hair like mine? I just wash it and leap out of the house."
  A. Same here but I plan to get it long enough to cushion me when I LAND!
  Q. "Your hair is getting so long now that a Bird could build a nest in it."
  A. I wouldn't have to buy my eggs- no yolk!
  Q. "Just think what other people are thinking about you with that hair."
  A. Yeah- the women think I'm sexier than ever and the other men envy its thickness, length and the attention I'm getting!
  Q. "Your hair is a mess!"
  A. Did you mean to say- MESSterpiece?
  Q. "How long are you going to let your hair grow anyway?"
  A. As long it can!
  Q. "Well.......with that hair of yours you might as well go all the way and buy yourself a pair of High Heels."
  A. Good idea! It would be a great present for the women who ARE going all the way now that I've got this hair!
  Q. "What are you trying to do anyway, look like Jesus?"
  A. Who better to look like? It sure beats looking like Hitler with a short haircut or Mussolini with a shaved head!
  And now..........for a common mistake which might take place in a store when viewed from the back. In this case the person isn't trying to pick an argument.........but the retort is a scream!
  Q. "Excuse me Miss."
  A. No, you're the one who MISSED!
  And finally..........this one is a killer:
  Q. "Are you a Girl?"
  A. Nope! Go back to sex ed class to learn basic anatomy if hair alone threw you off!
  
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- Hahahaha n/t
  
  Surferdude
  
  "They know everything there is to know about everyone elses business.....but their own!"
  How often one growing-out their hair is met by someone who doesn't have anything else to do but try and start an argument to get a rise out of you. WORST thing to do is argue. BEST thing to do is agree and turn it into a fun experience for youself and drive the troublemaker nuts.........for he has nowhere to go.
  Below are some fun examples, some of which (in the past) I have used myself to fling someone over my shoulder and render him speechless. Hope you guys get a good laugh out of some of these retorts. :-)
  Q. "When are you going to get a Haircut?"
  A. "Just as soon as I get to the Barber Shop."
  Q. "Your hair is getting so long you are starting to look like a Girl."
  A. "Really?" That's great...........hope she is a pretty one.
  Q. "Long Hair on Men is out! Did you know that?"
  A. "No. Thank you so much for your kindness in letting me know."
  Q. "Your hair is getting so long that pretty soon you won't be able to see where you're going."
  A. "Ha ha ha..........I know. Isn't is funny?"
  Q. "Why don't you buzz your hair like mine? I just wash it and leap out of the house."
  A. "Cause I always think before I leap."
  Q. "Your hair is getting so long now that a Bird could build a nest in it."
  A. "Really? That's great! Hope it's the Goose that lays Golden Eggs."
  Q. "Just think what other people are thinking about you with that hair."
  A. "I have and am still thinking."
  Q. "Your hair is a mess!"
  A. "Yeah, I know.........and so isn't my life. But you can help me and pray for me every day. I just KNOW you are a very special caring person."
  Q. "How long are you going to let your hair grow anyway?"
  A. "I don't know........but could you please write your name and phone number down and I shall be sure to call you and let you know just as soon as I know."
  Q. "Well.......with that hair of yours you might as well go all the way and buy yourself a pair of High Heels."
  A. "I already have."
  Q. "What are you trying to do anyway, look like Jesus?"
  A. "Yes. He was so nice."
  And now..........for a common mistake which might take place in a store when viewed from the back. In this case the person isn't trying to pick an argument.........but the retort is a scream!
  Q. "Excuse me Miss."
  A. "Surely." (Said in the highest voice you can.) The person looks back and the expression on his or her face is priceless.
  And finally..........this one is a killer:
  Q. "Are you a Girl?"
  A. "Yes."
  Q. "No you aren't."
  A. "Yes I am."
  Q. "You're not kiddin me."
  A. "I'm not trying to."
  Q. "You're a Boy!"
  A. "No I'm not."
  Q. "Yes you are!"
  A. "No I'm not."
  (This goes on and on. They finally give up and leave.)
  Moral of it all: "To argue with a fool makes two fools."
  
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- Re: HAVING FUN WITH RETORTS. :-)
  
  david
  
  I live in the UK and some of the skinheads and buzzcut kids can be agressive. The retort I use if someone comes on all agressive is to say in a mock-gay-pleasant way: "If you are so keen on young boys with very short maybe you sould join the army and see a whole platoon of fit, short haired boys to admire etc,etc" it is bound to get to the macho idiots wound up. And then say with bite: "hopefully you'll get send to iraq and get your head blown off". I know that can seem bad to say but some of these guys deserve it.
  
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