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i just had a very bad experiance with my family (step-father and brother who are very abusive) and i got attacked and he punched me in the face and i fell into glass and cut open the top of my head and it made a really bad bald spot and i started yelling about it and he started making fun of me that im not a real man because of my hair and started attacking me again and ripping it out
and now i have like no hair left in the front and it's almost mid-back length in the back and my scalp looks like a bloody mess. i don't know what to do. i am completly screwed its so bad i may have to buzz the rest.. i just feel like dying right now
could anyone offer any ideas?
Dear Cactus Jack,
I am appalled by what I have just read. You have been the victim of a serious criminal assault here and it is unacceptable for you to remain in this kind of violent, abusive environment. I'm not sure how old you are (i.e., whether you are still legally a child and at school) and how easy it would be for you to get out and get temporary accommodation elsewhere - are you able to seek help via a teacher, parents of friends, neighbour or other relative ? My own view is that the police should be involved here and that your local child protection (if appropriate) and/or domestic violence agencies should be aware of what is going on.
Regarding your injuries/hair - try and take a photo of them if you can and seek medical attention immediately.
First things first - get to the phone and tell someone what's happened. You need local, practical help as well as support from this board.
With very best wishes,
Laurence
Since these are step father and step brother who are not of your flesh and blood (They are not your true family.)I would file criminal and civil charges against them as soon as possible. Treat them as if they are total strangers and sue them for as much money as you can get out of them. They obviously do not care at all for your well being. Find a good personal injury attorney who is willing to take the case on a contigency (no win, no fee) basis. Also try to have them prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. They could easily be looking at prison time for what they did to you, and don't be soft about it, they deserve it. You may have to move out of state and disappear to avoid their wrath when they get out of prison.
As for your hair, while regrowing it you might start out with a mullet and gradually grow it out since your hair in back is still intact instead of buzzing it off. Absalom
1: Hospital (might be able to save the damaged hair folicles on your scalp).
2: Police (your step-father and brother diserve to be punished, since they have broken the law).
You know it must be done.
-
Nichol
I hope you hear what everyone is saying. YOU are the most important thing here. Family forces will go to work almost immediately to try and make all of this okay. It's NOT okay. The cycle of abuse will have it that this happens again and again, and each time it does it will be WORSE. As others have said, you have to tell someone there in your community. The phone book should have help listed under ABUSE in the yellow pages. You could call the police. You could call a trusted adult in your life (and I know, there may not be many), but someone like a teacher, a counsellor, a youth leader, scout leader, etc. Don't wait.
Your hair can be taken care of second. Take care of YOU first. If you were one of my students, I would go with you immediately to get help. Find that person who can do that with you today.
Robert
i just had a very bad experiance with my family (step-father and brother who are very abusive) and i got attacked and he punched me in the face and i fell into glass and cut open the top of my head and it made a really bad bald spot and i started yelling about it and he started making fun of me that im not a real man because of my hair and started attacking me again and ripping it out
Sounds like you have way more serious problems than your hair right now. The hair will most likely grow back just fine with time. But right now you need to get some kind of help if you are being treated this way. There's no excuse for that kind of violence, especially from "family".
File charges and get him put in jail. Do it now.
Have they ever been abusive to you in the past, like this? If it is not the first time, I would file a lawsuit against them, as they are nothing to you in reality. They obviously don't care about you. Don't buz it! That will only make things wore, you are showing that they have won by buzzing your hair. I'm appauled to hear of a longhair getting abuse, but this kind of abuse really needs morew than a verbal retort. Go seek support, from anyone you can trust i.e friends, teacher, police. I would also go to your nearest hospital with someone like a friend to get your scalp (and face) checked out. You may have some glass crystals still imbedded in your scalp. Act quickly and your hair should be ok. If you leave the abuse to carry on, it will happen to you again and again.
Maybe why don't you spend the night with one of your friends tonight, for support, make your father in law realize that people like your friends parents are going to notice, just stay away from that psychopath. They are not going to be happy until you cut your hair, so don't, and stay away from them, forever.
Don't stand up to this abuse, hope everything works out for you.
yes, this has been going on for a while now. started out just verbal and quickly became physical
one of the big issues with them is they are very big into forcing people into what they believe by any means, especially their religion and they can get very violent about it. i choose not to follow their religion and converted to a diffrent one and my whole family told me right upfront that they were going to make my life a living hell from now on because of it. so in their eyes this is all justified.
sueing them will do no good;
just move away from their negative influence
-vincent
i would seriosuly call the police and report abusive parents. or something like that. a father mother, or even sibling does not have the right to beat someone in there family like that, no matter what happened. they will likely get thrown in jail if you call. Problem is, if they get out, they will probably come looking for you.
What religion encourages violence and ignorance like that?. They obviously aren't following their religion properly, as I can't imagine hurting other people being right in anyones eyes.
How old are you, if you're young, under 18, I would tell someone close to you about the abuse you are having, so they can keep an eye out for you. They may know what to do when things get out of hand like what happened today. I don't think you should sue them unless you have been severely mistreated by them.
Make sure you do take photographs of your injuries, incase when you're older you may want to sue. If the abuse does get worse, then I would say leave. My friend had been in a similar situation where his father used to smash his face in if he felt angry, and he is still living with them now, at 17. But it's made him an unstable, and sometimes he can be a complete arse. Stay low and watch out until you are old enough to move out.
So, your civil and constitutional rights are being violated, too. No one has the right to force their religious views and practice on you.
Robert
More detailed reply:-
1) Go to emergency/outpatients/whatever it is called where you are. You need medical treatment. don't do anything to your hair until the doctors and the police have seen it, and maybe not then;
2) Tell them that you have been _attacked_ by family members;
3) Ask that they call the police;
4) Tell the police that you want to file criminal charges;
5) Likely the hospital will bring in social services and they will find somewhere for you to stay. I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but you are now homeless. That's the worst of scum like this, they get to stay in the house and you don't;
6) The best time to file a civil suit for money damages, is probably after a criminal conviction is obtained. This could be some time later, so don't let it slide because you want to forget about it. Talk to a lawyer ASAP.
The only way that any of this will work out for you is to sue them, assuming they have any money, and realistically you need to get them convicted first.
I just don't know what to say.
Elektros, I agree with you man, he needs this well documented for evidence, before you even think of treating it. Having long hair is way down the list of priorities in what you are faced with now. I forgot to mention that in my post.
Seems to me even the most abusive families tend to control themselves
to some extent.
But when alcohol is added to the situation...all HELL can (and often does) break loose!
In the small city next to mine, two brothers spend the day drinking.
By the end of that same day, one of the brothers killed his
brother right in front of his nephew!
And now, not only have you been physically attacked, but
being attacked by people close to you can have VERY serious
psychological effects on you.
You need to put some distance between yourself and these hate-filled people!
You have my prayers.
Take care.
get over that feeling before caring about anything like your hair.
good luck.
-vincent
I don't know what to say that hasn't been said already....but I wish you the best of luck, and you WILL get through this. Put those idiots in jail, don't let them think they have a right to do that crap
And focus on your hair a little later; you're definitely not the first guy who has gotten rid of long hair (intentionally or unintentionally) to grow it ALL back later on, to longer lengths.
Best of luck again
So sorry to hear about your being assaulted, man.
As others say, get out of there. You should not be living in a place where you don't feel safe, because a home is like a dark alley - no one of the general public can see what is going on there.
As for your hair, do not cut it at first. Some would say do not cut it at all because that carries the message that you let them win. Some would say nothing will rub their noses in your defiance of them more than to leave it the way it is. Rub their noses in it for months.
Also, if you leave it the way it is, you will be preserving the evidence of the assault. What a crime victim does NOT want to do is clean up the crime scene. The more people who see what actually happened to you, the more support you will get. You can describe it in words, but NOTHING will speak so loud as the visual image of what occurred. You want to speak with the loudest voice you can, and that is the condition of your hair.
If you leave your hair the way it is, the front will soon grow out and cover the bald spot, while merging into the longer hair in the back. It will look quite decent then. But if you do decide to cut any of your hair, go through the two week rule as well as getting all the photographic documentation done first.
Be proud, man. And look out for YOU.
Bill
It's clearly obvious that you're being abused for expressing your individuality. If it were me, I'd beat their sorry asses one at a time (for those who don't know, I'm a black belt). But knowing that's just as wrong I'd consider you getting them help for not being as a loving family should be.
"Die and be free of pain, or live and fight your sorrow"
I forget where I heard that but what it means is that you shouldn't have to give in to the pain so they'll stop abusing you, instead give them what they deserve for treating you so badly.
P.S. Good Luck
This is a VERY serious matter. It "could" have been "Life-threatening." You sound to be in an extremely abusive situation..........and a dangerous one at that.
Go to the Police................NOW! See what they have to say. (Of course I don't know your age...........but under 18 it would be considered "Child Abuse.") Over 18 down-right ASSAULT! People who assault others are in serious trouble with the law and can be JAILED!!!!!!!!!!!
You need to get out of there RIGHT AWAY! The Police will know an agency to contact that will remove you from the situation right away if still under 18 years of age. Most likely you will need a Doctors "check" on your overall condition..........THIS WEEK.
Please...............you have to take action by yourself on this one and get to the Police 1st. Be sure and tell them of any and all other abusive things of which you have been subjected. (Any past Bodily harm things........Mental Crulity things etc.) NOT: "They wouldn't let me watch TV." (This would NOT be taken as anything.)
I hope you get out of there as fast as you can.
To begin with, I am sorry for you. I'm sure you put up a good fight :)
If you fear this may happen again, get out. You could try litigation, if you were so inclined. Take care of your injuries, and keep self confidence. If you do want to feel new, try buying new clothes.
Again, I'm sorry. I'll pray for you.
Ivix
Hey Jack
The first thing you need to do is go to the Police - you can't let this kinda thing alone, it won't go away, these people won't change otherwise. File charges, get your injuries documented by a doctor, (for evidence). Then get your butt out of harms way.
Leave home, go stay with a friend or relative you trust and don't go back.
If your still legally a minor go to social services and ask to speak to someone. They'll look to place you in an environment you feel safe, ideally with a non abusive family member, they won't be trying to drag you off to some kids home.
What ever you do DO NOT stay put.
Sorted
There's not much I can say that hasn't been said already, just offer support, and my advice, priority one should be to find a safe place to live, second should be stabilizing your hair situation, then third, if you choose, is to what extent of the law you want to pursue these two. It could teach them a lesson and they will watch themselves from now on, or it could generate more hatred and desire for revenge. You'll have to decide what's best for you.
Good luck, my thoughts are with you.
Really sorry to hear about your plight dude. This is a serious situation and I'd just like to reiterate what everyone else has said. You have to get out of there now. The next time might be much worse. You may even be killed. There are many good people out there who will help you, you mentioned that you are religious, your local priest will be able help you and may even be able to help you to find somewhere to live.
Do as the other guys have suggested and get medical attention and document your injuries. You should also write down everything that you can remember about the incident as it happened in as much detail as you can, as soon as you can while it it still fresh in your mind, If you take legal action this is very important to be as clear as you can about everything in court. You should contact the police and get them to take out an avo against your stepfather/brother. (an avo under Australian law prevents the persons from coming anywhere near you, I'm sure wherever you are there is something similar available to you.)
Above all be strong, tough times never last but tough people do.
before you cut your hair off consider wearing a cap over the bald spot until it grows back. Hang in there dude and let us all know how things work out for you.
Dear Jack,
First I offer a very large but gentle hug of reassurance that you have done *nothing* to deserve the way you have been treated. Your stepfather and brother are abusing you and that is not okay. Where is your mother in all this?
I have no advice other than to direct you to some people who do, peaceathome.org, a site about domestic violence. There is an online brochure there, http://peaceathome.org/pdfs/dmviolen.pdf, also available by mail that may give you advice. The site is aimed at abused domestic partners, particularly women, but has advice that applies to your situation too. If your mother is also being abused this may be information that can help her as well.
Peace At Home also has a National Domestic Violence Hotline telephone number if you are in the United States: 800 799 SAFE. They are there to help you or direct you to those that can.
Please be careful Jack, and know that you have many good people worried about you and caring about what happens to you.
Elizabeth
Sorry to hear about that, mate.
Go to the cops. you have constitional rights,whether you have long hair or short hair.
About the bald spot, it depends where it is. There can be a solution
