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i am a guy(18) and want to grow long hair. but my parents send me to barber shop to cut it . how to convince them. give some suggesstions please.
Eighteen is the magic number. They have no legal right to demand a haircut of you anymore. On the other hand, they have no legal obligation to support you once you turn eighteen, either. If they tell you to cut it or get out, then you've got a decision to make.
Convincing them is the win-win option of course. You've got to get it to sink in how important longer hair is to you. If they love you, hopefully they will cut you some slack.
My parents were so abusive over the haircut issue that I was conditioned to cower at every haircut suggestion, be it from parents, bosses, or others, by the time I turned 18. There were other issues, but hair was the main one. It was the obvious one everyone could see - where they wrote their ideas on me, where they marked me like a dog marks a hydrant.
It took me years to assert control over my own life. Once I did, and I realized how abusive my parents had been, I chose to live the rest of my life without them.
You know, if your hair means a lot to you and they attempt to run roughshod over that, it probably says they are really into controlling you more than they love you. You do hold the trump card. You can choose for them to grow old without you in their life.
Mom was a total control freak about hair. She was a real skinflint about clothing money, even tho the family was solidly middle class. Haircuts were a one-every-3-weeks event. Like clockwork. I hated every bit of it. By the time I was fourteen, I was a total wonk. Wearing no-style clothes and a short "standard" haircut. Took a long time (and much therapy) to sort it out.
I'm over 55 now, mostly bald, but with the longest ponytail I can grow.
Keep fighting. Don't give up.
Dave.
I was subjected to the same sort of control like Bill and my Mom was like Dave's too and it took me a long time to overcome the effects of that control and be myself.
However, I suspect that xxx is probably Asian and especially newly immigrant Asian families, even in the United States, can still demand control, even after their offspring have reached the legal age of maturity and its also difficult for the sibbling to assert himself.
Regards
Charles
"Dad, when I was 15, you let me go to the mall and buy my own clothes, even though they were hardly ever the same clothes that you or mom would have picked for me. How old will I have to be before you let me make my own decisions about when to get my hair cut, and how to wear it? All I'm asking is that You know I respect you and your opinions, even though I may not agree with them. I hope I'm not out of line if I ask for just this tiny bit of respect in return: that you trust me with something that is very basic, and very personal."
If my kid said something like that to me, it would sure make me think. Especially if the kid was doing okay in the *important* parts of his life: takin' care of business in school, staying clean and sober, and growing into an honest, fair and kind man. Good luck.
jp in san diego.
You are an adult andyou have the right to grow your hair as long as you want
I assume by this comment that you are living at home. Under their roof, I think they can retail a certain amount of control. If you move out and live life on your own, they cannot.