new thread
Hi guys. This is my first post on here. I'm really glad I found this hyperboard. I've been growing my hair out for about six months now starting with somewhere between 1 and 2 inches. It's around 5 inches now. When I first started, I didn't get too much opposition. My mom didn't like it at all, but thankfully she accepted the fact that I can make my own decisions (I'm 19 by the way). My dad actually liked it seeing as how he grew his hair down to slightly below his shoulderblades back when he was my age. The problems started though a couple months ago. My brother is getting married in August and aksed me to be in the wedding. My mom then just decided for everyone that I was going to get my hair cut. I managed to fight it though by saying I would leave it up to my brother and his fiance since it's their wedding...and since I knew my brother didn't care that much. So now the general consensus is that I have to "make it look better" or get it styled or something. So...anyone have any ideas what I can do with my hair at 5 inches long without cutting it? My hair is somewhat fine and kinda wavy. I think I have a picture somewhere if you want to see one.
hey what's up. i'm growing my hair and i'm 20-my sister actually got married last july and the haircut i had for that is the last one i've had, so it's been about a year.
more to the point of your situation, DON'T waste all your growth on an event by getting it cut, even if it's an important one. when i was 13 and had my bar mitzvah (i think that's the last time i've been in a synagogue, but regardless), i was growing my hair at the time as well but eventually cut it a couple years later. it was thick and somewhere between wavy and curly, and i was using a gel at times then to keep it under control, it was 4 or 5 inches long, which i don't waste my time with anymore these days. However, even with using lots of gel, it was kind of hit or miss each day as far as neatness was concerned. So basically, I made an early appointment with the hairdresser i was seeing at the time to get it blow dried and gelled. Dealing with this for just one day and paying 20 bucks for an appointment would be better than wasting all your growth. Don't let your mom use this opportunity to make you get your hair cut, which is really what her agenda is (just kidding, or maybe not?)
Or perhaps you're problem isn't messiness like mine was? Perhaps a stylist will still be able to make it better, but don't let them cut it
And the fact that I even had a hairdresser at the time for trims is also something i don't do today, in this second, more self-aware growing phase
First, YES post a picture. You will get much better advice if you post a picture. In my experience the expression "make it look better" is code for "make it shorter". My family tried the same thing and I'm 41! In my opinion your family is using an emotional ploy to control you. They are using the wedding as an excuse to force you to get a haircut. The fact is at six months you are starting into the "awkward stage" and there isn't much you can do to really make your hair look better except let it grow. In the worst case where family peace is at stake, a small trim won't derail your long-term long hair goal but it will set you back a few weeks at best and is very, very risky because a scissor-happy stylist could literally set you back six months! Avoid a trim if possible. To do that, the best thing you can do is experiment with hair gel. If you use a lot of gel you can slick your hair back and it will look very close to your short hair style (it will make your hair stiff but won't hurt it). I've had good luck with L'Oreal Melting Gel (it is a light gel). If you've never used gel before I suggest you try a light gel and see if that will hold your hair. If not get a heavier gel. Start your experiments well before the wedding. The best test of a hair product like gel is to wear it all day and see how it holds up. Good luck and please keep us updated on your situation.
And Aunt Martha from Montana will be visiting in October and you should get your hair cut. And dad's boss will be coming for dinner in January and you should get your hair cut. And they will be taking school yearbook pictures in March and you should get your hair cut. And your sister will be graduating in May and you should get your hair cut. They will always find another excuse IF YOU LET THEM. There will always be another reason around the corner.
The way to nip this nickel-and-diming-you-to-death in the bud is to put your foot down the very first time and say, "No!" Having long hair takes three years or so of non-cutting, and that means you will be a longhair 24/7/365. There is no closet for longhairs. If you are going to be a longhair, your family will have a longhair present at all family events. They are going to have to get used to that, and there is no better time for them to start getting used to it than NOW. If you get them accustomed to having their "cut your hair" requests granted, the fight to put a stop to it later will be tougher than taking the notion of it on the first time they get it.
if they don't like aunt X's funky short-reddish-dyed-hair hairstyle will they ask her to "make it look better"?
what about Uncle Y, who doesn't have much hair anymore and looks like a clown?
I wish you the best of luck with that wedding, but as bill said, you really don't want to cut it. :)
-vincent
Very well said!! And I'll add something that, as a teenager in the 1970's, I heard the women's liberation movement say: "I'm not going to let a man control me or parts of my body!". Turn about IS fair play. Tell your Mom and/or Aunt "I'm not going to let a woman control me or parts of my body!" Some street of EQUALITY we got here. Good Luck!!
Well said Bill.
Definitley go with gollans idea, and slick it back with gel. If its only for a day it wont be so bad. I remember I went to school with my hair slicked back one day and no one knew who I was. But your situation reminds me of what my parents do to me... every time we go out they say "can you do something with your hair?" They make me straighten it but recently I stopped because, why should I have to change my natural hair to please them?
There are quite a few things you can do to control hair without cutting it.
Some have mentioned gel, which does have the advantage of making your hair look shorter (except at the back). Personally I think gelled hair looks awful, but if it would make other people happy for a day... Sometimes gel can let you tye back hair that isn't otherwise long enough, but I don't think that would work at 5 inches.
There are other things beside gel to slick down hair, although I supose gel is the modern version (showing my age here!).
There's also hairspray. I'm surprised no-one has suggested it. It makes your hair feel awful, but again for one day it wouldn't be so bad.
Just wetting your hair before combing it helps control it, but if you wash and blow dry that's even better. Just be careful not to over-heat your hair, as you can damage it. It takes longer with it set on cold, so allow more time. If you don't have a blow-dryer, get one.
If you really want your hair frozen in place all day, then wash it, blow dry it, and zap it with hairspray! It might actually look good, although it won't feel good. Of course, it won't have the shortening effect that gel has, but all they said was 'do something to make it look better', right?
Glad you found it also. It is VERY helpful...........and it's also rather fun to "tune-into" daily.
I think the posting of Bill below is the best advice of all for you. Stick to your guns for if you don't, chances are very high you will be pushed around all the time and NEVER achieve Long Hair.
It is interesting how it works for most. At 1st when growing it out you get all the negative comments. But then once it is grown-out (about 2 years worth) you are getting compliments instead. But, the ONLY way to get there is to NOT get your haircut.
Best of luck to you.
Picture Purged
Here's a picture by the way. Sorry about the crappy quality...and the fact that I didn't comb it this morning. Thanks for all the advice. I'll try slick it back and see what it looks like with some gel. I have some time to figure something out. I'm definitely not going to give up or cut it though.
