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I'm hurting right now and in need of some encouragement. Last night I experienced some rudeness from friends about my hair. And one of them knows I'm sensitive about those things but she still seemed to not care about my feelings. I certainly let one of them know I was pissed off without losing my cool. It's tough because I really am trying to take care of my hair and they were comparing me with my friend who has semi -long hair like a liitle past his eyes and were saying how his looked nice and compared me with him and were saying- well he( my friend) takes care of his hair and then just kinda looked at me and turned away and said I didn't. I am shocked at people's rudeness however I refuse to be rude back to them. I do want to confront them and let them know that their attitude is wrong but i dont want to be bitter about it. And then its frustrating because this other girl tries to cheer me up and say she likes the hair and that I'm cool when it seems shes just kind of saying it to cheer me up. So this is a tough time as I feel like my friends have betrayed me and have been very insensitive. It seems that even over the past year that I've even developed a social fear when around groups of people because there is so much usage of words and talking and eventually it turns to talking about hair and they say something that to me is hurtful. I am a Christian and I want to deal with this in a Christian way. One person even brought up that passage in 1st Corinthians and I mentioned it was a matter of tradition, some seemed to agree but one didn't. I just need to be able to be socially confident and wear my hair with pride, but it's so hard. I don't want to be ashamed of who I am, but confident about who I am. So I really need some encouragement as I deal with feelings of anger, rage, and all kinds of bad thoughts. Your encouragemtn will be greatly appreciated as I surely am in need.
Thanks
"Will"
Some people are very thoughtless when making comments......most times they are just trying to be "cute" It sounds as though you are handling the whole thing in a very mature manner......so good for you and try to let go of it. All of us here know what you are going through and that you are cool !! ...and that what counts !!
A wise friend told me once: "What other people think of me is none of my business."
Makes sense to me....
Hey man, I know how you feel. When I had dreadlocks, some people would give the worst criticism ever (making comparisons between my hair and various mammillian dung)
I also understand the whole I Cor. passage coming up. I've gotten it occasionally from old ladies in my church. Ah well. I tell them that extremely literal translation of the bible (and of COURSE only the KJV, right?) works until you get to the part where Jesus says "I am the door". Hmm, perhaps extreme litereralism is overrated, eh?
Just don't let it get to you man. This is the "slap on the cheek" that Christ refferred to in Matthew 5 or 6. No real damage, just trying to hurt your pride. Just let it slide, and even offer them the other cheek! If you can out-insult them, it gets old for them real quick *example from when I had dreads* "Dude, it looks like a bunch of cat turds hangin' off your head!" "Nah, it's more like cayote turds: not as chunky, and a lot more wild". He couldn't top that.
That "Ball" Guy
When you HAD dreadlocks? You don't have them now? Did I miss something?
Oh ok. I was out of town at that time. Your hair looks great btw.
Do you really think that people that would talk to you like that and say such things about you based on your hair are truly your friends? I noticed that since Ive started growing my hair some people I knew have stopped talking to me but whatever, all the better, it shows your true friends from the ones who dont really care about you. Maybe your friends are just messing around but when they say that stuff, just dont smile, laugh or take it as a joke; I would give them a look and just ignore them and walk away.
Keep your head and spririts high. I had a few people yell derogatory terms at me while mine was gorwing. Even now some people feel the need to tell me "you should cut your hair" and i still can't understand that. i don't advise them on their hair style or anything else for that matter. Let slip out of your mind, like the water off a ducks back!
me.
Just tell your friends to go look in the book of Numbers where God tells the Nazarites to never cut there hair.
I got the same crap when I was growing mine out. I made it known that what they were doing was thoughtless and hurtful, and that if they didn't stop I was going to stop talking to them.
They stopped.
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Nichol
I would try to calmly tell them that you are serious about your hair, and how you don't appreciate their comments. They probably think they are lightly poking fun at you with no damage being done. You might even try to help put them in your shoes by finding a characteristic about them, then ask them how they would feel if you made such comments about them. Reassure them that you are not criticizing them when you do that, merely trying to demonstrate how they make you feel.
.. are sometimes the worst thing you can have - they will make fun of you, not realising how hurt you are. because they are friends, they are not inhibited enough to make a personal comment.
I would say nothing unless it happens again. If it does, tel lthem that you are serious about growing your hair, and if they don't like it, they'll have to put up with it. If they react badly, maybe it's time to change your friends, otherwise they will soon accept the 'new you' once they have found something or someone else to talk about.
And you have plenty of friends here on this board to support you.
Stress ends up taking time out of your total life = deading earlier. Deal with the stress than and there. Throw something. Get rid of that built stress. :) For example, if a bowl of jello is sitting beside you, accidently dump it on them. Oh look, your hair is a lot better than theirs. heh heh heh heh. I guess that why everyone stays away from me.
Don't stress out.
