new thread
Hi everyone,
I just started reading this webboard and it seems like I came to the right place for some much needed-advice!
I'm a 24 year old guy who's a freelance writer and therefore isnt involved in a workplace environment. I have never had long hair at all but have always wanted to go for it...something that would look clean and yet at least down to my shoulders (so I can do different things with it). A few people have actually told me I should do it, but I've never had the courage to do so.
Anyhow, I'm about at the stage where I normally need a trim (I had it last cut in early June, when it was really short), and I'm curious how I should go about doing this. I've read different things in terms of just letting it grow, or if I need a trim first, so I'm confused.
Right now I'm coming off a short summer cut and the bangs, when brushed down, are about at eye-brow level. It's beginning to get a tad fuzzy in the back near my ears and the sides are pretty much ear-level. It's definitely not long yet but if I let it go it should start getting longer quick (my hair is pretty healthy and grows fast).
My question is -- do I just let it grow? Do I have it styled and cut FIRST, a certain way, and then let it go? How often do I get trims, etc.?
I'm sorry that this is such a basic question but I've never done this before and I'm ready for a change. Plus, the work environment I have right now is open up and I dont have to worry about it...just about the backlash from family & (some) friends! Still, I want to do it!
ANY words of advice or encouragement would be appreciated...particularly on the styling of it. And I've heard all the "growing out" phases stories so I'm fully prepared for that also.
Thanks,
Doc
when I was growing my hair out I didnt get any kind of trim at all for over a year that way when you do go they know you realy want to grow your hair long.......
Doc asked, in much edited form:
Well, Doc, I'm betting your question will get a number of answers from different folks, and they'll all be a little different, so don't worry that your questions are too basic, at all. Each of us has our own experiences and our own perspectives. Here's mine:
In my work, there was no particular sentiment against guys with long hair, but I didn't feel I could just "let it go," as I'm the type who starts to look like a wild man after a while. And since I'm not likely to win anyone's "best looking dude" contest, it's important to me to at least try to appear reasonably well groomed. If I go for six weeks without visiting a salon, I get to feeling pretty grubby.
Anyway, when I decided to let my hair grow out, I learned that the first thing I'd need to do was switch hair stylists. The woman who had been doing my hair appeared to listen closely when I explained what I had in mind, but then she proceeded to cut it as short as ever.
After that, I tried a succession of salons and stylists, and for one reason or another, I never went back. One was apparently opposed to the idea of men having long hair (kept telling me how much nicer short-haired guys looked); one was just not very good at his craft; and the third one I tried was very good, and even had some good suggestions for the growing out period (be sure to let all of the sides grow out, and not just the back). Unfortunately, she was 8 months pregnant and the salon went out of business after she left to have her baby.
This whole search process took about six months, and my growing-out project wasn't much further along than when I started it. Finally, I was determined that no one was going to cut my hair again unless I first was convinced that there was an understanding between us. I booked an appointment for a haircut at a moderately up-scale salon near my work, and asked if I could meet the stylist before actually confirming. Two days later, I sat in her chair as she asked what I had in mind. I told her that I was looking for someone who could take care of my hair on a long term basis, but that I really wanted to grow it out. "How long?" she asked. I answered, "Probably a little longer than yours [hers was shoulder length], but I'm having a hard time finding anyone who isn't freaked out by the idea of a guy my age (mid 40s then) doing the long hair thing."
She didn't blink, but told me she wanted to give me whatever *I* wanted. I've been with her ever since.
I'd say it took about another nine months until my hair was "respectably long." During that time, I got trimmed every four-to-six weeks, and while there were periods of shagginess, my hair generally looked like it was *supposed* to be that long -- not just the result of carelessness or neglect.
All that was about four years ago, and today my hair is still growing. It's almost to the middle of my back, which is about as far as I would want it to go, but it has been longer than my hairdresser's for a long time. Some people like it, and I suppose there are some who don't. What I *have* noticed is that all sorts of people *remember* me now -- and that has both good and bad aspects. Waiters and maitres d' now greet me by name and I think I get better service, but then, I can't get away with anything because everyone knows it was "that old dude with the long hair."
Good luck, Doc.
. . . jp in san diego
good story jp in san diego im in my mid 40s also and i been growing my hair for 3 years and like you i dont think alot of people like it but i dont care i realy like it alot so im going to grow it at least to my mid back .....thanks for the story
Doc,
I was in a similar situation to yours about a year ago when I first started growing my hair long. I had never really had long hair before, and didn't know how to proceed. I like my hair neat as it sounds like you do. I started growing from a cut like yours, and just got trims as I needed to keep things from getting overly frizzy. A year later my hair is about an inch and a half from my shoulders, and I love it!
I urge you to give it a try...after all who knows how long before you start balding! Get a stylist you trust and let him/her know up front that you are going long! My stylist takes about 1/8 of an inch of my ends every three months and this keeps the hair neat and manageable. Long hair is sooo cool. Girls really like it!
I've gotten some "backlash" from friends (mostly rigid guys who think long hair is effeminate on men). Surprisingly, my very conservative family has said nothing. My wife's family loves my hair. I've decided that this is what I want and now (at 30) is the time to do it. Happy growing!
Floyd
DOC--
You're probably our favorite kind of guys out there -- one who's ready to do what we've done and overcome the excuses for NOT growing your own hair aslong as you'd like.
When I firest started growing my hair long ten years ago, I kept it trimmed short on the side for the first few years. Actually looked good on me, but required a lot of profcessional maintenance and made it hard for curly-haired me to keep a neat ponytail without stray locks escaping and looking kinda sloppy. If I did it today, I'd probably look like a country-western singer.
Now, although my fine-ish hair is only mid back/tits length, I'm still going. I only see a stylist no more than once a year when visiting a bigger city and insist only stylists who also have long hair (since I'm in Alaska, it's kinda hard to get out a lot as well as find a truly competent longhaired male stylist where I live).
What I DO do is get a deep conditioning treatment and shave the fuzzy hairs off on the back of my neck that would stand out at the sides of my ponytail. Provides a clean look without doing anything to trim the actual hair except for a very small amount for split ends. At a stylist, I'd say you'd need to go no more than once every three or four months for this. See how your hair behaves.
The more you have a stylist fuss with it, the longer it will take to get it down to or over your shoulders. Going over the shoulders allows you to do more with it easily, I've found.
However, one of the advantages to having to take 2 or 3 years to get your hair to cover your shoulders (the minimum I'd recommend for doing a lot of differnt things with it) -- is that is gives you time to get used to having longhair, and others to get used to you with long hair, too. Once it's long enough for a nice pointail, you may find it tempting to keep going for a long ponytail and see how long it will go on you. Check your progress every Christmas, take pictures, and compare as you go. . .
As long as your hair is reasonably clean and neat, you should find you can be comfortable and look appropriate in any situation.
Enjoy your freedom!
well... here's my 2¢ worth...
first, just let it grow. my experience with stylists is that they generally will not cooperate with a guy trying to get longer hair. that's not to say ALL stylists are that way, but you'll need to look around a bit. maybe you have a sympathetic friend who is willing to give you trims--(?) be sure he or she knows what they are doing.
second, as it gets longer, it'll start being an annoyance- a test of how badly you really want to grow it out. start looking for hats and/or bandanas that you like unless you are going to restrain it using gel. it has taken me 3 years for the front hairs to stay tied back all day (i used to wear a 'mullet').
third, you're going to deal with some backlash, but it's YOUR hair not theirs, and if they really are your friends, they will support you no matter what length your hair becomes. you can grow a clean, neat head of hair down to your butt if you take care of it.
finally... patience... human hair growth only averages ½ inch per month; it'll take a couple years for the top to reach your shoulders... and longer still to stay tied back & out of the way (you'll find this necessary if you plan to grow it much past your shoulders).
congratulations on deciding not to let the fashion world dictate how you look. your independence will strike fear in the hearts of those hell-bent on controlling you.
Hi guys,
Hope you don't mind me butting in... As a female admirer of men with long hair, I thought a site might be of interest to some of you. It's actually a site for women with long hair set up by a male hairdresser called Brent Jones, but it has some briliant advice (Just don't let your girlfriend/wife catch you with her curlers!). The address is:
Re: hair care site address attempt#2
Re: hair care site address attempt#2
Re: hair care site address attempt#2
Re: hair care site address attempt#2
Re: hair care site address attempt#2
Hello again...
It doesn't look like the address appeared, so I will try again...
http://www.longhaircare.net/treat.htm
There.
Cheers, Angee
Ask someone whose hairstyle you want which stylist s/he uses. Make
sure that person's natural hair is similar to yours as well. Go to
that stylist and tell the stylist what kind of hairstyle you want. If
that hairstylist does a good job with your hair and doesn't try to
discourage you from growing your hair, you probably found the right
stylist who will help you get the style you want.
Hi everyone,
I've already written to a couple of you but I just wanted to tell everybody that I REALLY appreciate all your words of wisdom and encouragement!
I think one of the main problems someone like me has in growing their hair out is that I need to be convinced that it's a good idea...that it's something that I need to do personally to make a change and just plain have fun!
One of the great things I've seen is that a lot of you guys have told stories about being in your 30s and 40s and doing this for the first time. Heck, I thought I was "too old" to do this for the first time at age 24!!
The more I think about it, the more I'm going to do it. Some of you said to find a stylist...others said to just let it grow for a while. I can tell, though, from all of your experiences that you havent regretted it, and for the first time, I'm really, thoroughly convinced that I'm not going to, either!!
A future fellow longhair,
Doc
(who will still need advice and guidance, so I oughtta be around a while!)
Hey there Newguy
listen to everyone elses advice it is pretty good
I used to have short hair and bleached it blond too. then I got sick of seeing everyone else with that style I shaved my head bald. september
97 and decided to start anew well its been 2 years and my hair is 2 inches below my ears and my bangs touch my chin. I had to switch
stylists because my last one was scissor happy so be careful out the
my hair coulda been longer but now Ive a decent stylist and get it cut bout every 3 months and she just trims about 1/4 off the ends to keep
it clean and sharp also wash every day and use a good shampoo and
conditioner Ive spent alot on different brands and currently use
thermasilk moisturizing its works great I also blow dry on med heat
with a diffuser so i dont torch my hair and it comes out with good body,managablity and shine.remember,your hair is yours no one elses
enjoy it.
happy hair growing
christopher k.