new thread
Hi everyone! the story is this: im 17 years old and i have being growing my hair for almost 2 years and next month ill be going to hong kong as an exchange student with afs for a whole year. I will stay with a host family and have to go to school also. The problem is that hong kong schools requiere all student to have short hair!! i talked to my host brother by icq and he said that i have to cut my hair. What can i do? those are the school rules but i have just become informed of that fact and wasnt aware of this and.. hell no! i will not cut my hair for any reasons! im willing to live their culture and all but cutting my hair is the only thing that is out of discussion. Before this i talked with the people from afs of my country and they said 'so whats the problem? just cut your hair, it's no big deal'. Im thinking of writing an email to the hong kong host school but i dont know what exactly to say.. can anyone help me with ideas to write the email?
well, thats all thanks for the support
Honestly I'm not quite sure what to say to this.. but I seriously think that cutting your hair is a major NONO haha
In this letter you will write or email or however you are doing it, maybe you should ask if you can put it in a ponytail, or do something special to it so you dont have to cut it and it wont be just hanging down..
You have probably thought of this already, but yeah.. Ill post again if i think of anything else
yes, i will tell them that or that i may use a hat or braid it whatever. I just cant understand what harm do i do because my hair is just longer than the rest, do i bother someone? Its not only hong kong, in my country there are schools which do not permit long hair? whats @#$ wrong with these people?? what right do they have to make me cut my hair? they should have told me before i did all the paperwork, not a month before! some people say that i have to respect their culture and cut my hair yes or yes. And what culture is that? short hair culture? anyway im just angry for the moment. Iam very wrong or the rest of the people is? Well, thanks for the support in this forum :-)
yes, i will tell them that or that i may use a hat or braid it whatever. I just cant understand what harm do i do because my hair is just longer than the rest, do i bother someone? Its not only hong kong, in my country there are schools which do not permit long hair? whats @#$ wrong with these people?? what right do they have to make me cut my hair? they should have told me before i did all the paperwork, not a month before! some people say that i have to respect my culture and cut my hair yes or yes. And what culture is that? short hair culture? anyway im just angry for the moment. Iam very wrong or the rest of the people is? Well, thanks for the support in this forum :-)
That sucks man. You have a right to be angry. Thats a stupid rule man. I dont really know what to say that can help other than good luck with the letter. If they tell you that you have to cut your hair, are you willing not to go to Hong Kong?
Aside from telling the host school that your hair is long because you are a Hari Kristna, or that it's long for some other religious reason, or a medical reason, your toast, bro. I'm wondering if you knew all this when you signed up to go to Hong King. Could you reapply for a place where you can have long hair, like, say France or New Zealand? Anyway, it's bad news for sure, but unfortunately this is one of those little moments where real-life infringes on what we personally want to do. I'd explore other options and then, if there are none and I still want to participate, get the hair cut, and go. Hair grows, man, it never stops till your heart does. The sacrifice would be worth the adventure if you have your attitude plugged in right. Otherwise, it looks like the Hong Kong deal is off, eh?
haha im working on that...
I'm wondering if you knew all this when you signed up to go to Hong King.
>No, in fact i was informed of it after i did all the paperwork and there was no turnback...
if i had known i th Could you reapply for a place where you can have long hair, like, say France or New Zealand? Anyway, it's bad news for sure, but unfortunately this is one of those little moments where real-life infringes on what we personally want to do. I'd explore other options and then, if there are none and I still want to participate, get the hair cut, and go. Hair grows, man, it never stops till your heart does. The sacrifice would be worth the adventure if you have your attitude plugged in right. Otherwise, it looks like the Hong Kong deal is off, eh?
Ok, thanks for the advice!
Of course this is a bit of an exageration, but I can't help but be reminded of the Jewish brain drain from nazi Germany.
It sounds like the HK schools want diversity, but they want it their way. Tough noogies on them. You can't get diversity without differences. Compare organizations the recruit strictly on talent vs those that recruit based on appearance, crede, family ties, etc.
Who wins in the long run?
Followed by, it seems like the authoritarians could save face by making it understood that there are exceptions for foreigners.
I'm assuming that walking around HK with long hair isn't like being a woman and walking around Saudi Arabia without a veil. I mean, aside from this school policy my understanding is that it's a very cosmopolitan place.
Seems a bit strange - whenever I have been in HK the older students seem to have quite long hair - in fact hair generally in HK is encouraging.
Which school are you going to and where do you come nfrom?
Yes, my host brother told me that if i dont cut my hair they dont allow me to enter the school and they will deduce points against me if they have to deport me. I mean, dude, what do these people smoke :-) ?
Im from argentina and i'm going to lee shing pik college http://www.plklsp.edu.hk/
Everyone, thanks for your support!! really!!
Just say "NO". Don't go. In the USA, kidnapping is illegal. In the middle east, the kidnappers cut of more than hair.
Try alternate exchange student plans--a country other than Hong Kong if it's really true that they don't allow long hair. I wish you good luck with your education plans.
Try asking them if you can wear your hair like women do there, e.g in a ponytail. Tell them your culture is long haired or something.
Hope you keep your hair, if you think so much of your hair, you will not sacrifice it.Cya man
There are two reasons you can get a hair rule overturned. One is if it is seen as unfair to everyone. The other is if it is seen as unfair to you. Since this is in a foreign country, the latter tack is what is likely to be appropriate for you to follow.
In a recent court case in Rhode Island, it was held by a court that anti-longhair rules were unfair to students in general because it was an abuse of power, but they also considered that it was unreasonable for the student in question because the rule had been adopted after he had already paid his tuition for the year, and he had been a longhaired student at the school the previous year, so they took his money knowing he was a longhair. Under these conditions they said the rule as applied to him was unfair.
What you have are some "contract law" issues to deal with. The exchange program (you called it "AFS" I think) surely has an agreement with each school and with each student. These agreements most certainly will require things of BOTH parties. You may have agreed to "obey all rules of the school" for example. The school may have agreed with AFS to not discriminate against students. To these contract provisions the law may add some of its own - such as that unreasonable requirements by either side will not be enforced.
You may successfully argue that an agreement to obey behavior rules does not apply to hair length because, unlike putting on clothing, "having long hair" is a matter of your body - it is not a form of "commiting acts of behavior". You can put different clothes on, but cutting off two years of hair growth alters your body for long after you leave the school.
There is also the issue of fairness - after you have signed paperwork that does not say anything about hair length, their attempt to add such a requirement later may be seen by a court as a unilateral effort to modify the contract without the other party's consent. It takes both parties to agree, to alter a contract.
You don't have the time to go to court and resolve this by fall, of course, but you can make noise in that direction. Get the support of your parents, and then LEAN ON AFS. You have cut the deal with them. They also have cut a deal with the school. They are the party that is in the middle and that is obligated to work this out. They can tell the school to back off or they won't send them any more students, or they can arrange for you to get assigned to another school even if it is after their deadlines. They really don't want the threat of litigation or bad publicity over your case hanging over their heads, so you may get them to go to bat for you in this case.
Be aware that, just because you will be expected to follow the rules of the school, some rules may be inappropriate for you. I'd doubt exchange students would be made to cite the Pledge of Alliegance to the Flag, for example - it's inappropriate for a citizen of another country. If you were a Christian going to a school in a Muslim country, it would be inappropriate for you to pray to Allah. These are examples where the strict concept of "you must follow all the rules of the school" may not apply. And there are reasons the hair length rule may not apply. If you are a Sikh would be one reason, but if they failed to tell you of the rule until after you paid already or it was too late to get another school, that could be seen as another inappropriate reason. Modifying your body is not the same thing as modifying your behavior. It's in another league, and you need to make it clear to the AFS that you feel such a requirement without advance notice is unreasonable and unfair to the point that you are going to make a LOT of noise about it.
Point out, too, that learning to respect the culture of other peoples in an exchange program is a two-way street. Most schools in America do not discriminate against long haired students. If they are going to accept students from America, they are going to sometimes get longhairs. The students in those countries have just as much a need to learn about the ways that Americans might be different, as you have a need to learn that Hong Kong Chinese are different.
Best of luck man.
Bill
As always, Bill is right on.
Now, back home in England, many years ago, there used to be a guy called Rhodes Boyson. He was always speaking out on the subject of schools and education, and was a beleiver in strong discipline and also in strict enforcement of school uniform (which most schools have over there anyway). He was very right wing and generally quite a scary character.
Anyway, a TV interviewer once asked Mr Boyson whether he thought that boys should have to have short hair cuts in school. I can't recall his exact words after all these years, but it was something like "No, because they can change out of their uniform, but they can't alter their haircut". Coming from someone like that it was a big surprise, you could see that the interviewer was caught off balance. Of course, he was right.
I don't think the OP was from America, in fact I don't think he said where he was from. Clearly not an oriental though. I think abiding by the rules should be restricted to behaviour only. There's no way it's reasonable for anyone to expect a foreigner to look the same as they do, and to be expected to make alterations in appearance that would take two years to correct is completely out of order.
Many years ago (19th century?) I'm told that all Chinamen wore their hair in a queue, i.e. a pigtail. They would have been mortified if they had been forced to cut it off. And now, the boot is on the other foot. Don't hesitate to labour that point.
There again, AFS may tell you that you have to cut all your hair off, and when you get there you might find that there are others there with long hair! Wouldn't that p*ss you off? Don't imagine it couldn't happen either. It could.
There are both a bulletin board and chat feature on the AFS web site. One more thing you can do is raise hell among the other students. Get support every way you can!
This page has a link to both.
Good luck!
Tell them YOUR TERMS! In YOUR Culture, Long Hair is part of the American scene. YOU are an AMERICAN on visit for one year.........they are NOT! If they still say you have to cut your hair.................don't go. If they accept your offer, you will KNOW if they really want you as an exchange student. If not............they could care-less.
Why be a "push-over?" (For them?)
Since nobody else has mentioned this, I will. You might want to consider using a wig. I certainly don't consider this the best option, but it's one you may want to consider. And if you do, practise putting one on before you go. It can be tricky, especially if your long hair is thick.
You've decided to go to another country, in fact another entirely different culture. Perhaps you might think about according their rules and ways of life some respect. If a Beijing exchange student came to America and insisted that he had to wear a "I love communist China" shirt every day to class because it was part of his culture, you'd be pissed off.
Traveling is all about adapting to the local environment and learning from that experience. If you can't handle something as minor as a temporary change in your appearance, perhaps you're really not open minded enough to explore the world yet. If you insist on eating McDonalds everywhere you go, you're not going to learn anything about local culture. If you insist on keeping your hair, you're going to be seen as just another arrogant foreigner. RESPECT the culture you're in, don't diss it bro. Just my 2c.
With respect, you are dead wrong. Respect for other cultures cuts both ways. We all need to respect eachother's cultures but must recognise that the other person has his own values.
I don't know how long your own hair is, but I suspect it's not long enough to recognise the semi-permanent nature of a short haircut for a longhaired person. The OP said he had grown his hair for two years. This means it would take two years to grow back. Respect for other cultures only goes so far, and not _that_ far.
I speak as someone who lives in a foreign country myself.
Well I had shoulder-length hair for 10 years, so I completely understand how much effort it takes to grow and maintain it. Utimately I cut it not because of need, but because I wanted a change. I had to deal with some amount of crap from people in order to keep my long hair.
It's not like Fu is temporarily traveling to HK on vacation. He's being invited as a guest to live and study in a culture with certain values and rules. I see a difference. As a tourist, I would expect to make less changes in my behavior than if were living in a foreign land as a guest of a family. Anyway, I know the folks on this board are somewhat defined by their hair length. It's a community and I respect that. HK is certainly a large, very conservative community. I might not agree with the principals behind it, but if I made a decision to live with a host family and go to local schools, I'd make an effort to respect their cultural values - just as I'd expect a foreign exchange student to the west to respect ours.
With all due respect, please don't say I'm dead wrong. It's just my opinion. You're entitled to yours & I respect that. Preaching absolutism, black/white, right/wrong without the shades of grey that we deal with in everyday life just doesn't jive with reality.
Rob Roy
