new thread
Hello again everyone! I know it's been awhile since I've posted, but the events of the past month have been traumatic and for awhile there I wasn't sure if I even wanted to continue as a member of this planet. In short, I lost my girlfriend of some 7 or 8 years about a month ago. It has been a very trying, tough, almost overbearing emotional nightmare for me. This was (and I guess still is) the first and only woman I've dearly loved. I did a lot of stupid things, but we won't discuss that.
Now...on topic. Here's is THE big hair mistake I made during the last month. Compared to what has happened, hair shouldn't be a big deal, but when dealt the ego blow I was, hair is VERY important. I love my hair.
Hint: Never trim your hair when it's in a braid!
I had my hair pulled back and braided, and
the ends looked rather....well....what's the word
here...ratty? So I got some scissors and trimmed it.
Looked great! Well, great until I let out the braid.
The back was crescent shaped, long on the left, short
on the right. Rather than try to start a new hair
craze, I saw my stylist who promptly let me know he'd
take off as little as possible but that he would be
taking off.
Now I sit here with 7 inches less hair than before.
We're talking near the waist all the way to above
mid-back.
I hate it! But...well, what can I do? I guess I'll have to be patient and let it come back in its own time. My hair hasn't been this short since I can remember!
So keep in mind - never trim your hair when braided! Even an old timer like me can use that advice.
Peace, all!
Thanks for the reminder-warning. Hair really takes on various shapes when it is bound, braided, etc.
And, my sincerest condolences on your loss. It's real, and it's really painful. On one score at least, hair and love have something in common: they both take a lot of time to grow/heal and learn from.
Robert
Sorry to hear about all your troubles, Rokker.
Wow, I think you were getting it from every direction during the past month!
God, getting all that really negative stuff in one lump can
be almost too much to bear.
Though it seems you are taking it fairly well and coping with
the hand that was dealt to you.
Good advice about not cutting when the hair is in a braid.
I remember years ago, my baby sister want her hair shorter.
She had this very long braid that went all the way down her back. So, not knowing anything about hair cutting, I simply
took a pair of sharp scissors and cut my way through it.
Of course, then I ended up with the same results you mentioned.
So I combed her hair straight down and trimmed it carefully,
straight across. Thank God it came out looking great.
And since she WANTED it shorter, she was pleased with the results.
You have 'lost' seven inches, but when I first started reading your post,
I thought you had chopped ALL of your hair off because of
all the stuff you were going through at the time.
Glad you didn't! And in about a year, you will get it all back.
Who knows, maybe it will look even better!
And one last thing: We all live day to day without ever
knowing for sure what Life holds in store for us.
Sometimes everything seems to be going our way...with everything
falling so neatly into place. While at other times, we get only
the bad stuff...and in heaps!
Hope things turn around for you, and that things start
getting better for you soon.
Good Luck!
Thanks for the kind words. Even kind words from people I've never met on an anonymous, yet friendly, family-like board make a LOT of difference!
Thanks!
I'm really sorry to hear about your loss.
When you say "In short, I lost my girlfriend of some 7 or 8 years about a month ago" I take it you didn't mean she passed away?! Because that's how I read it as. I hope life deals you the right cards from now on. Best Wishes
No, she didn't pass away. She moved on. She found someone she apparently likes better than me. I'm heartbroken, even devastated, to the point that I swallowed a ton of prescription pills and ended up spending two nights in a psych ward!
I'm trying to move on now. Things are getting better as the days pass.
In many ways it would have been easier for me on a personal level if she had passed away. That would have been closure. The way it is has made me feel less of myself as a person and is a huge blow to the ego and feeling of self-worth. But I'll perservere.
By the way, what I said above in no means I wish she passed away. To the contrary, I wish her and her new guy the best. But - I just wish it was still "us" instead of "them".
Have a nice day!
Thanks for taking the time to post the reply.
Man, I didn't realise it was this bad. Don't try that again.
I know that can be a huge, even tremendous thing to get over.
My best friend has slowly been dying inside because his girlfriend, who he had some great times with, has been saying she hasn't got time to go out, which is a plain lie, she hasn't even broken up with him, she's just let the so called relationship linger hoping that they'd both forget about it in time. It's been eating at him for so long. They don't even want to see each other anymore, and the most difficult thing is, they are in the same school, where they have to see each other all the time. It's made him very angry.
But this is nothing, not even a scratch on what has happened to you.
Yea, that's the best thing, you're not an ugly man so I bet if you are willing to let go of your old relationship, you won't be short of girls for long.
Hang in there man, it's hard. The wounds will heal, be yourself, you don't need other people to make you happy. God made everyone individual.
It's nightime for me actually, but thanks anyway.
I wish you many nice days to come.
((((Rokker))))
That is a lot to go through and the truncated hair along with all the rest it is not trivial. I am sorry you are hurting in so many ways.
Elizabeth
What a bummer. That is 14 months of growth gone. Form now on be sure to have your hair completely loose when trimming it. Do not try to trim it even when it is in a ponytail. In a ponytail the hair at the sides is lifted up a few inches while the hair in the middle is not. If you were to trim it while in a ponytail the hair at the sides gets the least amount of trim and the center the most amount of trim. The end result when you let your hair down is a crescent longest on the sides and shortest in the middle. Absalom
... but there is a little lesson here about 'attachment'. When we get too attached to people or things (such as hair), a loss, or even a change in the status quo, can result in severe emotional turmoil, such as what you are experiencing now.
The key is to learn 'acceptance', to embrace change rather than resisting it. So with your g/f, you have gained all of the experiences and lessons which that relationship undoubtedly brought. Just try, if you can, to embrace the change (separation) instead of resisting it (by the sound of it, you cannot unmake her decision anyway). Of course, it would be unnatural not to feel any loss, but the point is to not let such events shoot us down in flames.
To be 'detached' means neither apathy nor stoicism.
Case in point: attachment and love are two seperate things, though most people think that the two are inextricably linked.
Once we learn that they are not, our lives are changed for the better. This si true freedom.
The same with your hair. You didn't want to lose that length, but it HAS happened... Here you show that you have learned from the experience - you will, as you say, never cut your hair tied again. You can apply the same learning processes to 'larger' issues, such as the breaking up of a relationship.
I hope this helps - it is difficult to explain such concepts on a web board post.
Huey
