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Hi guys, I am considering trimming my hair back to waist length which would would mean trimming off about 15 inches. I really don't want to do it. I have a mix of coarse, medium, and fine hair. I also have a mix of straight, wavy, and curly hair. Straight hair is ideal to grow to 3 or 4 feet long but when you add some curly and wavy to the mix it really complicates things and causes severe tangling. Are there any special hair care products for my type of mixed up hair? I need the world's best detangler. I definitely have the wrong hair type to grow really long but have managed to do so by keeping 9 or 10 soft cloth hair bands along its entire length. Washing and drying requires 4 hours even with a hair dryer. I use the low heat setting roughly equal to Phoenix Arizona in the summer (about 120 degrees F.) which will not damage hair. I know this because there are people who live in hot desert climates up to 130 degrees F and yet have long flowing healthy hair. Anyway, if you guys were in my position, what would you do? I will observe the 2 week rule before deciding on the trim. Absalom
I'd have a perminent grin stuck on my face! Seriously, though, you'd said on here before that you are using Mane and Tail to wash/condtion your hair. I've heard good things about it, but I'd advise you to try one of the pricier brands such as Nexus, Physique, Aveda, etc. They have shampoos made specifically for detangling long hair. You could always try detangling hot oil treatments (altough you'd have to buy enough for 5 heads!).
I really don't want to see you cut it. I know from what I read one here that you really want knee-length. Don't let a few tangles or unmatching locks get in your way!
Do anything, and I mean anything, to prevent the trim. Go to salons, try new products, and then, if all fails, and it is really what will make you happy, do the trim.
Hi Redleader, I was using Mane n Tail conditioner but did not get the best results. I am now using Aussie Moist conditioner. I am currently using Matrix Biolage shampoo. I am also using Biolage leave-in conditioner. I will look into other salon products that are specifically made to detangle very long hair. Thanks for your input. Absalom
I definitely say trim only 1" at a time.
Are you oiling your ends? I've used just a touch of coconut oil, macadamia, and jojoba, which really nourish those dry ends.
Consider a weekly heat treatment. Apply to the length of your pony, fold into a manageable length, and wrap in a heating pad.
Have you tried CO-only washing? I don't want to harp on this, as I've posted it before, but washing with the right conditioner can prevent the damage done by using harsh shampoos designed to remove built-up styling products we don't use. I've found that condioners like these can even wash out heavy coconut oiling. These light conditioners don't in fact do a very good job at conditioning the hair, and you'll still need to moisturize and detangle.
I never blow-dry my hair anymore, just wash in the evening, and go to bed with the wet hair hanging over the pillow.
After years of breaking off above the elbow, my hair is finally growing long, without damage.
Absolom,
First, there are going to be few of us here who have hair the length of yours to speak from experience! Mine is mid-back and that's where I keep it. It strikes me that there are a few, and Hair Religion is the one that I'd like to see comment on this. I do wonder if you have used a braid to keep your hair in for several days at a time? I use a braid every so often. They are not perfect, and they can come lose along the way, but they also keep hair from flying about and tangling.
Is there much damage at the ends of your hair due to tangling?
Robert
Absolom,
With hair only to my mid back, I'm not sure I'm overly qualified to jump into this discussion. However, I do know what you mean when you describe "mixed" hair. Mine is both straight and curly. The hair that is still black is fairly straight, but the other 40% is gray, which is very coarse and wirey, almost kinky. The combination causes my hair to "clump" together (reminds me of Spanish moss).
Most conditioners don't do a good enough job getting the disparate types of hairs to release from each other. The best product I have found for this is the Paul Mitchell Detangler. I don't know what stores you have out your way, but if you have CVS there, I know they carry it. I have also found that the spray-on Aussie leave-in conditioner makes the drying process easier.
Hope this helps.
Absalom, you are the last guy I'd thought to be asking that question. You can't get a trim because you're a role model to so many guys on this board. If you do decide on a trim, take off only 1 or 2 inches. That's not much to regret.
My hair is never completely detangled and I just live with it that way.
Ed
I think after all the good advice you've given, it's only fair to say wait for 2 weeks... after all, you've spent many years growing your hair, and such an achievement shouldn't be altered on a whim.
I think there comes a point when you have to trim though - if it makes you comfortable and happy, then it's what you need to do.
Good luck man.
wolfeyes
Even if I don't have your length - my hair barely reaches my waist when I stretch it or when it's wet - I have a quite bad tangling problem myself. My hair is pretty curly (see pic) and tangles easily and thoroughly, and sometimes I have to spend up to one hour detangling it with my fingers.
A way to avoid tangles in the first place is to tie it with two or more ties - that will keep it together and prevent tangling. A side benefit is the better ventilation of my back in the middle of the hot and humid New England summer season.
I don't use anything besides an anti-dandruff shampoo that I get at the CVS (I have problems with dry scalp and that shampoo has helped quite a lot). A side effect is that my hair has become easier to manage after I switched to that shampoo.
I don't use hair dryers - usually a trip outside will get my hair dried within 30 minutes. During the summer or in a warmer climate it wouldn't be a problem for anybody, but during the winter you would get at least a cold unless you are as hardened against the cold as I am. I have no problems spending several hours outside in sub-freezing temperatures wearing nothing more than shorts, sandals, a sleeveless shirt and a sleeveless jacket or vest.
Regarding the summer weather, here in New England we have temperatures in the 90s and sometimes over 100, with 80% humidity (fog at 80 degrees is quite common). So that it's much worse than Phoenix...
I wouldn't cut it.
A Linux Longhair
Absalom lives near my San Francisco home, in Richmond, California. "Sub-freezing temperatures" and temperatures "sometimes over 100" are not in our life plan. [grin] It would be rare for him to experience temperatures under 40 or over 90 for any appreciable time.
We get cool and damp weather and hot and dry weather. The other two permutations of that (such as "hot and humid") are rare. It is often breezy here, so drying outdoors is not practical on many days if your hair is long.
Bill
Life is not complete until you've experienced frozen hair. :-)
And beard :-)>= (that's my beard with icycles)
Been through that, several times, while skiing. If you are high enough in the mountains to go through the clouds the water droplets freeze on your hair and beard. It was quite a sight when I entered the chalet where I was staying - with "dreadlocks" of ice in my hair...
A Linux Longhair
)
LOL! That reminds me of my visit to Montreal in February 2003. Early Sunday morning, I spent about 4 hours walking around the river front and the streets of Old Montreal. It was cold enough to freeze the nuts off a bridge!
When I passed a bystander who commented that he liked my "style", I thought he was talking about the long hair and beard. Later, when I saw my reflection in a shop window I realized he must have been commenting on the two stalactites of ice growing from my moustache!
You guys do realize that freezing your hair isn't good for it, right? The water that gets inside the cuticle expands when it freezes, and this ain't so good for the hair, ya know. Your mental images are great, though. :-)
JE
Hi!
Am not really sure how short the longest hair has to be to qualify.......mine is at about 13-1/2" at present average. I HAVE had it at waist length in the past, though this was merely a tail. (Never should have cut it.)
It would kill me to have to cut hair such as yours.
Perhaps (if you have not already) try Alberto VO5 "Hot Oil." It is moisturizing and contains vitamine E. For your length you would need several tubes of this stuff. If anything like myself, you will be amazed at how (when hair is wet) a brush goes right through the hair without narry a tug nor a snap. It works like magic! I know of no other product that will produce the results of "Hot Oil." It makes all a breeze.
I think I am the only that writes about this product on the Hyperboard and it never has created any interest. As to why, who knows. Jajoba Oil, seems to be all that is talked about.
But for what it is worth, here is the routine:
1. Hot oil is applied to washed hair and only left in for 1 min. before being washed out.
2. Shampoo next. (I use a mild shampoo for kids.)
3. (Optional.........but I do this.) When hair is about 2/3rds dry I put in some Aussie "Leave in Conditioner," Making sure the ends have the greatest amount.
Good luck to you in what ever decision you decide. Waist-long hair is hardly anything to be ashamed of. Wish mine were that long right now.
all the best,
Justin
Like a couple other people said, just trim it a tiny bit at a time. I would do like an inch or 1 1/2 every 2-3 months to try and taper off the bad ends over time without really going backward in length. Then, while you are doing this, I would suggest a different kind of product than treatments or oils (which may work fine for you). Paul Mitchell has a product called Gloss Drops that contains no heavy oils, silicones, etc. A squirt or two of this is all you need to quickly finger comb (followed by a brushing) into your tangle-prone areas before you go out. It may seem a bit expensive for such a small bottle ($12-$15) but it lasts a really long time and takes down the frizzies that like to tangle so much (makes is slick but not heavy or sticky). It's quick and simple and I use it if I'm going to be out in the wind or hot weather with my hair down.
It might be enough to get you through the drawn out trim off process. You've had the patience to grow long hair so I know you have the patience (and help with products) to get through this part too.
Note to everyone:
We talk about hair teaching patience due to the long periods of time it takes to grow long hair. This mindset shouldn't disappear when it comes to maintence trims or feelings of frustration due to problems with it. Don't just start hacking away, take it slow and in steps and the patience you developed up to this point will pay off for you.
(if you are in a traffic jam you don't just start smashing into other cars, you wait and slowly make your way through it).
Hi Absalom,
First of all, I do know what you're talking about, even though my hair is fine and not wavy. I know about tangles, so I wear updos affixed to my scalp 99% of the time. That being a more difficult option for men than for women, can you try wearing ponytail "buns" that hang about the nape of the neck, maybe with the help of a snood?
Also, at home, a "bee butt" bun would work, where you start the same way you would with a regular bun (ponytail at nape), but instead of wrapping around previous coils for an ever-widening cinnamon roll effect, when you wrap, make each new coil as tight as the previous one, wrapping right at the same spot, squeezing the older coils down and down. The first coil or two wind up being straightened out inside the remaining coils. See photos of Karen Marie's dressed-up bee butt bun here: http://www.wuvie.net/SPIRALBUNLARGE.JPG, and of course, you don't have to wear the barrette, unless you want to. Use a fabric hair band or two instead to tie off the top.
Otherwise, Absalom, your goal is to grow to your knees. I strongly caution against cutting before you achieve this goal, or else you may never try again and won't be able to say you accomplished it. Since you asked for advice, my recommendation is to continue growing, make the goal, and then trim after you wear knee length for a month. Take photos of that achievement. I think you'll be glad you did.
Otherwise, as others have suggested, trim in increments. 15 inches is a huge amount for all at once. Let me tell a story to illustrate this. You know of Dave Decker, whose hair is much like yours, though beyond knee length now. When he visited last spring, he swore he wanted me to trim 9 inches off because his ends were so thin. I was willing, but suggested we take trimming in increments. I trimmed off 3 inches, then took a digital photo to show him the result, and when he saw how much better his ends looked, he opted to trim no more. He retained 6 inches that would have disappeared, had I not taken the process slowly. Was he ever glad for it, too. So I recommend that if you do decide to trim, do it in smaller increments and view the result before trimming more. You may decide not to. Even better, wear your hair for a day or two at the slightly shorter length before trimming more, and see if the new length does or doesn't do the trick, meaning decrease the tangles to a manageable amount.
I think your 9-10 soft hair bands is a great idea, but I think the hair dryer is a bad one. Let your hair air dry. Detangle, put in the hair bands, and let it dry that way. Wet hair in a hot climate is a cooling thing, kinda nice.
You don't wash every day, do you? If so, stop it, if I may be so bold as to state that in an imperative voice. Also, you've heard of the Conditioner Only method of washing, right? CO washing might work for you. Many curly haired people do this. Have you tried it?
Next, have you tried any leave-in conditioners that are NOT silicone laden? Giovanni and Beauty-Without-Cruelty make very good ones.
Lastly, have you ever heard of the Hairglove? For a good photo: http://www.hairglovecycle.com/ While they don't make them as long as you or I might need, there's a fundamentally good idea in them, and my guess is they can be fairly easily made from ordinary fabrics, and without snaps, but instead use those fabric hair bands over a piece of fabric. That might help contain your hair on busy yardwork days, and such.
I hope any of this helps! I really hope something solves your tangles problem!
JE
Thank you everyone for your advice. I have decided not to trim in the immediate future and if I trim later it will be in tiny increments of 2 inches or less with several months between trims. I am going to try out a variety of salon quality hair care products as well to find out what works best for me. Again thanks a lot. Absalom
Dont do it Absalom. Youre hair is awesome. I would kill to have you length of hair. I read on one of your posts that you use Biolage leave in conditioner and you said it works good on your hair.
