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Hi everyone, I've been tryin' to grow my hair long since july 2002, but i cut it medium length in september (2003). Now i have just had my hair trimmed on pretty regular basis (once every 3 months). The problem is... on the front, it looks awesome, it's light brown, with some highlights, some little curls and it's just fantastic, everyone loves it and envies it. (Now, in the front it's far shorter than in the back and in the sides, because a month ago i had it cut, in fact, it was getting too much long and i had to keep it down and it was horrible, or to get the hair parted in two sides, and it was still worse. Now it reaches the half of the nose, but the curls keep it above the eyes) Girls love my hair and the majority of them tell me to grow my hair longer (there's also a minority who wants my hair shorter, but they are just a couple of ladies). So what's the problem? Well, it's the back of the hair! I've always been made fun of my hair since I'm growin' it out, because of it! The more it grows, the more it seems to get frizzy (the front is not frizzy at all, so why is the back?!?!?!?!) and it's an hateful thing. It looks really huge (which could be normal if it was shorter than it is, but now i don't think is normal anymore). Recently, the jokes about it are becomin' even worse, because I'm passin' my holiday in a small village, full of villains and closed-mind people, who keep callin' me "caparezza" (who is a reeeeeeeally ugly italian singer, whose hair is really different than mine, but it's curly and frizzy too). Now, in september I'm movin' to another high school and I don't want to be made fn of in there, that's why I'm thinkin' about cuttin' it short, and I want to ask you guys some questions, before I do something I can whine about later.
1. Has anyone of you had his back hair like mine? I haven't seen any other guy or girl with such a hair and I want to know if it'll stop gettin' frizzy or if I should have to live with it, even when it'll be shoulder length (consider that when the hair is wet, it gets about a inch below the shoulders, but when it's dry, and frizzy, it gets up and it misses about 2-3 inches to reach that line).
2. Do you know something to do in order to keep it less frizzy? I mean natural remedies, like shampooing every day, shampooing just once a month, conditiong every time I shampoo, never conditioning, massagging the hair the more I can, never massagging.
3. When it's wet it obviously isn't frizzy at all, so I'd like to know if there is something I can do to keep it that way for at least 4 or 5 hours.
4. How would you act when made fun of like I am? I think there should be two different ways, one to react to guys of my age and one to behave with children. I like some suggestions.
Thanks to everyone, this board is gorgeous, love!
P.S.: the photo was made last summer, before cuttin' it, and the hair was all the same length, while now, as I formerly said, it's far shorter in the front.
Hey, and welcome to the board.
Although I have straight hair (I hope my picture is showing, 'cause I don't know how to get it to show), I have the same problem so we're in the same boat here. I have straight hair all around, but my hair in the back and ONLY in the back gets very frizzy. I had it down past my shoulders once and couldn't stand the frizziness (which some people did comment on) and chopped it all off, and also because my mom suggested that cutting the 'bad stuff' out might help 'cause the 'new hair' might grow out to be straight. As soon as I did I started regretting it and I started growing it out again right away. And my mom was wrong. So you just have to face it, buddy, it may never go away. My hair is way pass my shoulders again now and I've come to terms with it, and you will too. It doesn't take as much patience as you think. I'm not sure if you can have it straightened since you have curly hair (which I think is really cute), but I wouldn't recommend it anyway 'cause that's just damaging on your hair.
Now, what do I do to keep the friz down (I've come to terms with it, but hey, I still want it to look good). Just like you, I noticed that it's not frizzy when it's wet. So I try NOT to wash my hair too often, maybe like once every 3-4 days, depending on how oily it gets. And I find that good conditioners help. I've heard good things about silicon based conditioners and I intend to try it out. Oh, so far, of all the shampoos, I've found Toni and Guy's "Insight: Moisture Injection" to be the best for frizzy hair like ours.
And kids actually make fun of frizzy hair? I never knew kids did that. Just tell them that unless they have frizzy hair then they will grow up to be wimps (like, they'd end up with no penis or something like that). There's nothing boys are afraid of more than incomplete growth. As for other guys your age, beat the crap out of them and sleep with their girlfriends. Or just tell them to shut it.
And my final thoughts on cutting: I believe you should have long hair only has long as you LIKE having long hair. If the frizziness bothers you and you really can't live with it then I think cutting it might not be a bad idea. But you must think ahead, are you going to miss long hair? Do you prefer the long haired look? Don't be like me and waste two years trying to grow it all back out unless you're sure. As for the teasing, I know it's hard to ignore, but changing yourself just to make stupid people shut up really isn't worth it.
Love,
Kiat T.
I feel for you man. Guys with curly hair get the worst of it, but (IMHO) ours looks much better when really long.
Some frizziness will always be present, but you can experiment to find what works best for you as far as a washing/conditioning regime goes. Most people find they need to condition every time they wash (and even wash a few times with only conditioner). My hair is pretty oily, and I don't usually condition every time I wash (I wash about 2-3 times a week).
A day-long solution to the frizziness that I've found to work well is to put a bit of conditioner in the hair after showering, work in, and let dry like gel. It doesn't flake like gel, and keeps the hair wet looking for a good bit.
Hang in there man, it is worth it!
Hey man, you have totally awesome hair. I use shampoos and conditioners made to soften and my hair, otherwise it would mostly look like yours.
Okay, here goes. See a professional stylist. Don't let them do any real serious cutting though. But professional stylists make a living at knowing how to help the rest of us with their hair.
One reason the back is frizzy is because you sleep on it. I have to work harder at the back of mine than any place else.
Another reason the back is that way is because you can't see it. Yeah, that sounds dumb--I'm laughing right now thinking about how I worded that sentence. But it's true. I work hard to make the front and sides look their best because that's all I can see without mirrors.
There are products that can relax the curls some and will end the frizzy part fast. But first, man, I'd recommend you go talk to a professional stylist and explain, first, your growing out goals (so they don't chop away at the hair), and then the problem with the frizzy stuff.
It's awesome hair, man, totally--the kind other people want to touch, I'm betting. Hang in there dude!!! Josh
Hey man, you have totally awesome hair. I use shampoos and conditioners that are specially made to soften my wavy / curly hair: Matrix Smooth Look (orange containers). Works well.
It's okay to see a professional stylist. Don't let them do any real serious cutting though. But professional stylists make a living at knowing how to help the rest of us with their hair. They know "products" very well and can help you with the frizzy hair without damaging it or loading it up too much with heavy solutions.
I work hard to make the front and sides look their best because that's all I can see in the mirror. Sometimes I hold a hand mirror and turn backwards towards the bathroom mirror to see what the back looks like, but I don't have access to hand held mirrors at work, other places, so, usually, the back has to take care of itself. I swear the back of mine gets the frizzy stuff sometimes because I don't work at it like I do the rest of the hair.
First, man, I'd recommend you go talk to a professional stylist and explain to him / her what your growing out goals are (so they don't chop away at the hair), and then the problem with the frizzy stuff. I know they can help you. It beats hours and days of worry, trying things that cost money and don't work, etc.
You have awesome hair, man, totally--the kind other people want to touch, I'm betting. Hang in there dude!!! Josh (Sorry I screwed up the first posting. I was just sort of "talking in my head" as I typed and never read through it before I hit "post". I hope this is better.)
Paul Mitchel super sculpting glaze? it specially for curly hair (but I use it now and again on my wacy/straight hair just for fun) its like a serum more than a gel. It does not at all dry crispy (unless you use way way too much). You apply it to your towl dried hair then leave it to dry naturally, it gives great shine too, tho unfortunately it has no UV protection : (
What can I say? You may consider it a problem, but you and your hair look great. You say that everyone loves it and envies it. Believe them an ignore those who make the snide comments and only wish that they could look anywhere near as good.
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If ever there was a reason to grow long hair... *grin* I think you have it there!
OK lemme tell you something about frizzyness and curlyness at the back of your hair - It happens... and it'll continue to happen unless a) you cut the bottom layers of the back really short 1-2 inches and let the upper layers grow over them. OR b) you let it grow 2-3 inches past your shoulders.
See My picture attached, its the first time in 12 months my hair has looked anything near "smooth2 from the back.
Yeah I shampoo & Condition every 2-3 days, I condition virtually everything I wet my hair in the shower and I use leave in conditioner practically everyday. I also use a bit of straightening balm (light gel) to get rid of a kink that appears in my crown.
Wet look gel? Naw... your better of with a bit of leave in conditioner.
Slurs from adults I treat with contempt, I let them know that think they are ignorant. If its during the course of conversation all I do is turn away from them and just stop speaking to them, it makes the biggest impact on their mind that they have said something offensive. If they give it the big one afterwards - I'll give them an earful. Strangers, I'll just tell to "F*** Off" (always in a very calm poliet voice, its more infuriating.) Kids I normally just tear apart, cos I'm far wittier than most 12 year olds.
Hope that helps.
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Curly hair is very different to straight hair, it generally needs to be blowdried or it will nearly always result in a friz bomb, growing will not fix it. Hence a leave in cond in this case may not sufice, yet a gel will be ideal, then you wont have to blowdry. A good gel will also act like a leave in cond aswell. In fact ingredients wise there is very little difference between some except gel has holding ingredients.
And a high Alcohol Content - great for drying out already dry and frizzy hair... You have to be very choosey about the gels you use in these circumstances so I'm not sure I agree with the recommendation, though if he wants a wet-look - Wet-Look Gel will certainly give him that.
There is no alcohol in it. I dont know what you are on about?
Ok I see where your coming from now having re-read the posts. I musr say that I didnt mean 'every' gel, I was refereing to paul mitchel styling glaze. However there are similar 'gels' avail which are also alcohol free. I can think of several.
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Well, I've included a picture of my own neck from 2 months ago.
I really don't like the way it looks, but even now I can see that it's getting better as it gets longer.
My advice would be to see if it doesn't get better once it's longer.
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Good for you, just follow their advice (to grow your hair longer)!
I had the same problem many years ago when I grew mine. People used to make fun of me, or even worse. Eventually I learned to ignore them, or reply in such a way that I had them shut up.
You have about the same type of hair as mine. If you let it grow longer it will settle nicely under its own weight. It will take a year or so, but it is worth the wait.
When my hair got longer I used to be called '[Mario] Kempes' - an Argentinian soccer player who brought his team to the top at the World Soccer Championship in 1978... A pretty frequent name that I am called is Jesus.
Just ignore the idiotic comments, or find some replies that would reveal what idiots those who make those comments are. With some training you will eventually grow a thick hide and a sharp tongue.
I have the same type of hair, and I had the same problems until it grew long enough to settle under its own weight. Now I am receiving compliments about it - mostly like "I wish I had hair like yours" from women... Just be patient, you will get there. See my picture above.
I have never used anything. When it grow long enough for a ponytail the problem was solved - permanently.
You can just ignore them. Or, if you like doing it, return the favor - some stinging comments on their hair or appearance will put them off. Something like "at least I have more hair than you to hide my ugliness", you can always find something.
A Linux Lonmghair
stop thinking about what you look like and what girls and villains think of you. They will never be happy with how you look, they just want you to conform to their short hairstyle, and then they will find something else to whine about to get you exactly like them.
just let your hair grow and it will sort itself out. The frizzier looking back is probably due to the friction with your pillow when you sleep. I know the hair near my neck is knotting up a lot faster than the rest of my head. (whee)
good luck
-vincent
