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Hi guys, i've been growing my hair for about 3 years, its about 14" at it's longest, however, when I started growing my hair I knew absolutely nothing of how to treat it, i just blasted my way through and tangles, and used to wring my hair out and be very rough when drying it after washing. Unfortunately over the last few months I have noticed that my hair is now in an awful state! It is broken throughout and very stressed and tangled, the hairs that I have broken are very curly and horrible. Now the big question, should I cut it short and start again? or is there a way I could grow out all these annoying horrible tight curls and knots? I want long hair and would prefer to not cut it but I cant keep it long in this condition, it really looks awful, and it's beggin to make me feel depressed and less confident, I hardly leave the house without wearing a hat or gelling it down to keep it as flat as possible. Please help me.
You haven't said too much about your current hair care procedures, aside from that you don't seem to be wringing it out or being rough while drying (blow-drying?) it anymore. The fact that you've been growing it out for three years and it's only up to 14" long probably means it's all been breaking off, as you should have had about 18" of growth in that time.
The deal is, if you want your hair to grow long, you have to take really good care of it. Otherwise, cutting off the damaged part won't help, because it'll still get damaged again.
You need to put a good conditioner/detangler in your hair every time you wash it, and comb it out with a wide-tooth comb while the conditioner is in it. Don't blow-dry your hair, let it dry naturally.
Eventually, you'll need to trim off the damaged part. I suggest starting with 1", and after that, get 1/2" trimmed off every month until it catches up.
Knots are a clear sign of damage, but curliness may just be natural for you. Whatever you can do to prevent tangling will improve the condition of your hair, as brushing or combing out knots is a major enemy of damaged hair.
Since looking into the correct way to look after my hair I have been washing it 2-3 times a week, first putting conditioner on it, then washing and rinsing, then conditioning and leaving it in. After about 10 mins i rinse the conditioner out and wrap my hair in a towel on top of my head (my girlfriend had to teach me to do this) and let it dry until it's stopped dripping. then I take it down and let it dry naturally. When it'd dry i then brush the bottom 4 inches and work my way up my hair to the top.
The problem is, my hair is so badly damaged ( it looks like it's been screwed up into a ball cause it bends and kinks in all manner of strange ways) that 20 - 30 mins after I have brushed it, it sort of knots on it's own again? Plus because of the massive amount of breakage these little jagged strands are of all lengths throughout my hair? Any Ideas?
I still recommend a 1" trim to start, then give it a couple of weeks to see if it's ok. I suggest that you make the decision about your next trim at the end of that time. To maintain your length while growing out, you could trim at a rate of ½" a month. You might even consider layering, which I don't normally recommend, but it's better than losing all your hair. Just make sure they only take off damaged hair, which you're going to lose anyway.
Occasionally I put coconut oil thinly through my hair, apply heat for about ½ hour, and then wash out. Condition after any deep heat treatment like this, deep treatments don't take the place of conditioner. I also sometimes use Cholesterol cream, but it has a powerful fragrance that might be inappropriate for a guy.
Get some jojoba, spread a few drops on your hands, and toss through your hair.
I suggest you get a powerful spray-on detangler, like the one that people with cornrows use to take out their braids.
Considering your current hair care routine, you should be able to grow it excellently long after you get rid of the damage.
Your girlfriend sounds very helpful. Maybe she could trim you?
I tend to agree with Katherine, though before you trim you might want to post a picture of the damage. Its easier to give advice when you can see the problem.
But Katherine is right, you seem to have got a good haircare routine in place now, once you remove the damage by trimming a little at a time you'll get yourself into much better shape. Though I would recommend 1 inch trimmed every 3 months, as we all know what hair dressers think 1/2 an inch is. :-)
Her advice about jojobal oil should also help keep your hair separated and less likely to tangle.
Thanks for your great advice you guys and your positive attitudes towards my problem. I got my girlfriend to do my first trim today of about 1 - 1 1/2 inches, she also cut some of the really tangled bits. I'll be sure to keep you posted at regular intervals to let you know how it grows out, hopefully in a couple of months I should be able to see some nice hair growing out! cheers guys!
