new thread
It is with my head hung low and with shame that I post this message to all you guys with long beautiful locks. I posted a few days ago that nothing I could do with my hair would please my boss. The dress code says "Hair must be kept neat, clean, and out of face." And that is all. After I was told it could be as long as I want and all that as long as it was neat. Then on Tuesday I received the dreaded e-mail. It said I had been warned and (sic) "in short, look around the company and take cues from others for appropriate hair styles." I guess neat, clean, and out of face is very open to interpretation for some people. And the human resources officer, (a woman) was CC'ed. She's got a real short spikey cut. No help there! Then before I left work, let's call him Jim. goes, "I hope you'll do the right thing."
I was facing the decision of my beautiful wavy hair with over a year's growth or a job. What makes me most ashamed was that long ago I resolved that I couldn't do things I didn't beleive in anymore. I went and got my hair cut. I didn't get but about an inch off the top, but about 3-4 inches of the back and sides. It was a very traumatic experience. And what's even worse is that hardly anybody understands why something like this can create sadness. They just don't get it. I tried when I was 20 to grow my hair, but did not have the resolve to go past a year. Now at 30, I have the resolve, but I guess I let logic win since I need to eat and have a roof over my head. But logic doesn't always feel good.
But, this only spurs me on to seek out a job that I like more and working with people who can see the forest inspite of all the trees. This isn't quite as bad as the guy who worked for this same company who was gay. When "they" found out, he was basically pushed out of his job. Now that's a sad state of affairs. I thought he was a good guy.
In closing, I'm gonna win the war, I might have lost this battle, but my hair will grow back. In year's time, I'll be back longer past where I was, and hopefully I will have found a new job. But a positive outlook for the future won't stop the real tears now.
I know this is long and drawn out, but I appreciate you guys letting me post.
That's a good outlook, it's one battle, not the war. I'm at a similar age and some circumstances as you on this one, coming up on one year, hoping I don't encounter this at work. I've been prepared to hunt for a job again, and it sounds like you can be too. Be true to yourself.
"....with my head hung low and with shame....."
I do not think you should have anything to be ashamed of.....in the real world we cannot always have what we want, when we want......and these days keeping employment with a decent income is difficult. Longhair is only partially about appearance, it has a great deal to do with independence. I think you have a great attitude and your longhair experience of the past year has greatly influenced your values. Please stay on the board and share your job hunting adventure with us. Good Luck
Everyone on this board will sympathise with you - a real setback, but you have to eat, and as you say, your hair will grow back just as soon as you find a more reasonable employer.
Good luck with your job search. Keep in touch.
The indirect talk about haircuts indicates he has no legal right to tell you to get a haircut. If the company had a clear policy about hairstyles, he should be able to tell you how short or long you can keep your hair. Maybe you can find out how long you can let your hair get before you are required to get a haircut. If you find another job with an employer who cares more about productivity instead of short hair, maybe you can break the news by saying to Jim "I did the right thing. I found another job!"
Good luck.
Bragi,
Are there women in the company with hair that was at or beyond the length of yours?
Are they in violation of the (hair) dress code?
It sounds like you were adhering to the dress code and you may have a firm base on which to fight from, but will that further your goals? I don't think so.
There's no shame in your actions because you have a goal in mind and can see beyond the difficulties of the moment and have learned a valuable lesson that will probably stick with you. There are better jobs out there, and I'm sure you will find one. :-)
There are lots of women with much longer hair, of course they are not in violation fo the code. But, you guys from other parts of the US and other parts of the world (maybe) don't know what its like to live around here(Small town American South). It's so ultra-conservative and difference is frowned upon, and the thing is to be in the "right crowd" and so on. I don't buy into any of that crap whatsoever. But I'm getting off the subject.
Hi Bragi. Call me a radical, but have you considered legal actions? Sounds to me like they're not adhering to their own rules. I'd team up with the gay guy who got fired and sue the company you work for. I think the case is really working in your favor. Aside from getting lots and lots of money, you'll also become a hero. Consult a lawyer and think about it.
Love,
Kiat T.
Isn't it sad that many in society still evaluate someones job performance on the length of his hair. More likely those "rules" come from those that feel the need to demonstrate their power within the organization or that they are follically challenged and are jealous. Obviously you could find a lawyer to take them to court and find a judge to rule that their rule on the "length" of hair was ambiguous and only the appearence of hair stipulated.
But your idea to seek another position with a company that allows you to wear your hair neat and clean and "long" allows you to "win" in the long run.
I find it quite distasteful that situations like this exist today. Everyday in corporate America I here about "diversity this" and "diversity that". All they seem to equate to diversity is whether your black or white.
I have quite a few "Bible Beating Christian Hypocrates" in management here at work (not that I'm not religious) but they walk and talk God. Their actions though are hardly Christian. I've even talked with some of our support people that have found interesting pron on their leased laptops when they turn them back in and all I hear about is "Inapropriate Use of Assets". Blah Blah Blah!
Some of them have even stopped making eye contact with me since I started growing my hair out. The only thing that has changed in me as a person is my willingness to express myself and my values in a more outspoken way. I guess that makes most of them uncomfortable because they either can't or won't. I have noticed more guys though starting to grow their hair out in the engineering teams. Hopefully, we'll increase our numbers here.
Bragi, it's unfortunate that you had to cut your hair, but don't get down about. Change is always good. It should show you the difference between a bad company and an "Employer of Choice". Take the time to dust off the resume and pursue another employer and at your discretion interview them and feel them out for their culture. I do know one thing - from the short time I've been at this board - everyone here will support you and treat you with respect. Whether your hair is long or not - you're still a long hair at heart. Keep the faith.
and hopefully I will have found a new job.
But a positive outlook for the future won't stop...
...the real tears now." ~Bragi
Having those 3" - 4" inches (6-8 months of growth) trimmed off,
must have been a very traumatic experience for you
as you sat in the stylist's chair.
And you must have felt quite 'alone' because
how many people truly understand how it feels to lose their long hair?
Do you think a PONYTAIL would have fir the code description: "Hair must be kept neat, clean, and out of face."
You stated that your first attempt at having becoming a Longhair
was when you were 20--but that you did not get past your first year.
And now, at 30, you are still not allowed to make your own
decisions concerning the length of your hair?!
6 - 8 months of growth will grow back before you know it. And by the
time you leave that place, I hope they will realize that
they are losing a good worker because of 'dress code.'
In the meantime, let those tears flow because
they are an honest reflection of how you truly feel in your heart...
...and there's nothing wrong with that.
I hope you find some comfort in the fact that at THIS VERY MOMENT,
you hair is growing--and that you are still heading toward
your goal of being a Longhair...
You already have a good attitude, so that is a big plus.
But don't forget that you also have the support of everyone on this here!
Good Luck on your continuing Journey!
It is with my head hung low and with shame that I post this message to all you guys with long beautiful locks. I posted a few days ago that nothing I could do with my hair would please my boss. The dress code says "Hair must be kept neat, clean, and out of face." And that is all. After I was told it could be as long as I want and all that as long as it was neat. Then on Tuesday I received the dreaded e-mail. It said I had been warned and (sic) "in short, look around the company and take cues from others for appropriate hair styles." I guess neat, clean, and out of face is very open to interpretation for some people. And the human resources officer, (a woman) was CC'ed. She's got a real short spikey cut. No help there! Then before I left work, let's call him Jim. goes, "I hope you'll do the right thing."
A ponytail wasn't good enough... Don't get me started!!!!!
The only reason I think I cut my hair was because I have never gotten fired and didn't want that on my record.
What state are you from?
I'm from Georgia.
Hey Bragi
So sorry to read your story. I know the pain that can come from something like this. I wasn't forced to get a haircut but about 5 years ago I started to grow my hair - it was much as you described yours but because of some people's nags, one day I decided to have it chopped off. I woke up at about 4am the next morning, looked in the mirror and wept for two hours. It really was awful. I felt low and sad for a whole year until it grew back.
It sounds very much like the people you work for aren't worth working for. How long have you worked for the company and what type of work is it? I hope time will be a healer for you and for the time being, like you said having food to eat and a roof over your head is more important than having long hair. In the long term maybe you could find a different job and grow your hair long again.
I wish you every good fortune for the future,
RM
I've been working there about 10 years altogether, and it's a bank/bank holding co.
Nil Illigitimus Carborundum.
No, that's not real Latin - it means
"Don't let the b*stards grind you down"!
Thanks guys for all the encouragement/understanding/advice.
I think that I've learned a great lesson this week, and have hopefully become wiser as a result. I'm just gonna redouble my efforts to keep the hair growin'. BTW, I'll have a full beard by Wed. :-)
