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My Mom wants me to cut all of my bleached hair off and leave just the length my roots have grown out to be left. I know she means well but my feelings were sort of hurt when she implied I'm not too attractive looking to other girls with my long hair. I'm too attached to my long hair and want to keep it. Please help.
Thanks! ~Blonde~ =)
Tell her you wouldn't be interested in any1 who doesnt like you for who you are
Oh I feel so terrible! My Mom is only trying to help me. She really didn't mean that, what she meant was that I'd be MORE attractive to girls if I cut my hair shorter, she wasn't trying to hurt my feelings in anyway. I really appreciate the advice though guys, thank you very much.
Some women like long hair and some don't. Maybe suggest that you are only interested in women that like men with long hair.
Your mum was trying to coerce you. She may not find long haired men attractive, so in that sense she may beleive that she is helping. Whether that is really helpful is quite another matter.
Hi Blonde!
Well, good for her. But YOU don't want this.
A statement such as this is "Verbal Abuse." (Doesn't sound as if she "meant well" by attacking you in this mannor. She should be ashamed of herself. Does she have this info of hers documented? I doubt.
By all means keep it. If she continues to hound-you tell her that if YOU are to have your hair cut short than SHE should also................and SHE should go 1st! (See how that grabs her.) Don't be fresh by any means, but be stern and polite. Also tell her that at present the world is full of desperate troubles which "if" she chose to do so she might be puting her mind to better use. Perhaps she should try to help the hungry and sick rather than worry about your hair which is NO THREAT to the world and you like alot just the way it is. It is YOU expressing yourself. Self expression is very important to every Human. To be yourself is essencial. Do everything you can think of on this "Hair Topic subject" to prevent her from controlling your life. That would be especially abusive and later in life you may suffer until the day you die because of the way she treated you which is WRONG!
Good luck Blonde. Please let us know how it goes.
Your hair looks great.
Justin~
Not just to you, but any young person (you look like you're in your teens):
Tell her that it's important for young people to establish an identity that separates them from their parents, and that if they suppress their feelings they will just re-emerge when they become older, and the re-emergence will probably be more painful and inconvenient than anything that occurs during the younger years.
Explain to her that because modern society lacks any formal initiation into adulthood, various informal types have taken hold and that longhair on men is one of them.
Also explain to her that since modern society makes it difficult for men to earn a decent living until they are as many as 10 years past puberty, whether or not you can attract women as a teenager is actually not that important. Yes, you heard me. Teen dating is not important. Maybe you just don't care, and if you don't that's fine. Really. Maybe you only want to find that one special person that likes you for you and settle down for the rest of your lives instead of "being attractive to women". I mean, what's up with that anyway? What does your mother want for you? To become like that Sam Malone character from Cheers? She's probably homophobic, but none of this stuff has anything to do with being gay, and even if it did she couldn't change that.
Or, maybe you shouldn't explain this to your parents at all. Maybe you should just let them get upset and fight them a little. A little conflict is good and "part of the game". Years later, they will actually respect you more--it's the hidden payoff. Hopefully they don't pull out the big guns and start threatening not to send you to college or something unless you cut your hair. Then you have a hard choice: Either you will be a slave to your parents, or you will be a slave to whatever job you have to work to get around their prohibition. Ask them why they are forcing you to be a slave and only giving you a choice of masters.
At least some of what I'm saying can probably be backed up by experts if you google around. However, even if they buy these explanations they will probably still stew about it. My parents still bugged me about it in my 30s!!!
If your parents haven't seen Dead Poet's Society, they should see it.
Were you planning to trim a bit of the bleached hair off every few months? If so, just explain to her that you don't want to lose it all at once, but that you'll gradually remove it. Tell her how much your hair means to you.
And say that the girls who wouldn't have you just because of your hairstyle, aren't really worth having anyway.
Say "I can find my own girls without my mom's help, thanks".
Love,
Kiat T.
Blonde, you're right that your mom is trying to help you. But she may not understand what is important to you. And that's your job -- helping her to understand.
People on this forum have told you lots of things to say, but you have to speak from your own heart. I think your hair looks really cool, but, as you've said, it may be damaged. If that is what your mom is objecting to, then you should agree to get a third person's opinion -- such as a professional hair stylist.
And you must feel comfortable. It sounds like you still have a good relationship with your mom. That's really valuable. Talk with her but also listen to her. People get rigid when they think you're not listening. Try to find a solution that both of you can live with. And good luck!
Simple: dye the length of your hair to match the roots, which I assume is a darker color. This would solve the artificial color problem. Maybe this would be a compromise?
Some women do like men with long hair. Yup, yup, yup.
JE
