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I am a longhaired female who has grown to admire longhaired men very much. I've always liked you guys, but I do so much more now.
I have had very long hair most of my life. As soon as Mom would allow me to grow it,("you can't have long hair until you can take care of it yourself",)-I did.
I was messing around with the color for awhile and eventually damaged it, of course. I had the damaged part cut off and was growing it again when I went to a very famous salon in NYC for a 'student haircut'. They just cut it off. What trauma. It was like having a ghost limb! (Not to make light of those who actually do.) I kept 'feeling' it being tugged by my backpack or purse and when I went to pull it away there was nothing there! Freaky. I also felt really funny walking-out of balance for quite some time. So if you are considering cutting your hair-caveat-it WILL feel weird.
I also have a question. Not one single man I've ever dated in my entire life has expressed loving long hair or exhibited any signs that they did. Seeing all these men and women who love long hair is kind of a shock. Do you longhaired men really like all the attention just because of your hair? It's kind of fetish-y, (fetish-esque?)
A man who grows his hair long is doing so because he likes it that way and (hopefully) those closest to him do as well. Certainly, we all have attributes other than long hair that can attract attention, such as intelligence, wit, or warmth--likewise, some of the attention we get for long hair is not necessarily positive. I doubt it's a fetish any more than having short hair is a fetish.
Wren,
Hello there!
Well this depends on the guy. A lot of guys with Longhair are simply guys who have let their hair grow. Nothing more to it than that. They keep it that length because it "has always" been that long and/ or because they like how it looks.
For those of us who are growing our hair out for the first time in our lives, things are different. I know that in my case I am much more aware of my hair, the reasons why I am growing it out, what I hope to accomplish by doing so, and of others reactions to it. I am not alone in this.
I am also aware that there are some guys out there who view their Longhair as central to their being and their identity as a human. It is a very spiritual thing for them so they are very aware of their hair and of other Longhairs in general.
Like I said, it all depends. My personal tastes are very much for Longhair on men. I really like how it looks on the right guy. So, I am also aware of how much attraction it draws to me with my hair being long. I am not sure if this rates as a fetish since I do not exclusively pursue Lonhair men but I do prefer them.
I hope this answers your question.
Madoc
My site. Warning! Bi/ Gay content! (Nothing X-rated just that I like guys too!)
Dear Wren:
Well, I suspect that a lot of guys have at one time or another thought it would be cool to have really long hair, but simply never acted on it. When I was in high school, one of my friends (whose hair was the standard crew-cut length) used to tell people he wished he had hair like the comic strip character Prince Valiant (perfect, shoulder-length pageboy), but he never did anything about it. I thought it would be fun, too, but for me at that time (and I think I was like most guys) it was so far out an idea that it couldn't possibly be taken seriously, even by ourselves.
As someone else pointed out here recently, there may be something addictive about being a longhair, because we seem to like it more -- or at least become more obsessed with it -- the longer we have it. I started letting mine grow about five years ago, and I enjoy it a lot. A while back, my sister told me that, "Long hair on guys is out of style." I answered that I didn't know or care about that, but that long hair on *me* is *my* style. Frankly, I enjoy the distinction of being in this kind of minority. I'm not at all "good looking" but for better or worse, I'm no longer nondescript. People like head waiters tend to remember you, and if you've been nice to them in the past, they're usually extra nice in return. At least that's been my experience. Fetish? Nah. Obsession? Maybe.
. . . JP in san diego.
Wren,
You say no guy you've dated has expressed a love of long hair. Perhaps you've been dating the wrong guys;) Some guys think their long hair is stylish or cool, while others may count it as a central facet of their very being. I happen to lean more toward the latter. Having been variously long and short haired during different points in my life, when I foolishly lopped off my hair I too felt "phantom hair" pains. Long hair was really not a cosmetic issue for me, but rather more of a way to feel complete and less naked, so to speak. I never liked to tie my hair back into a ponytail, preferring to have the locks cascading down my shoulders like a comforting blanket. Not having hair brushing by my face really did make me feel incomplete. My own hair wasn't really a fetish for me, but simply an integrated part of me. As for long hair on women, I must confess that's a bit more fetishistic for me, as I've always really loved long hair on the women I've dated.
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Yeah, I want to add a strong "me too" here. Ponytails just don't work for me. It's incredible how often a guy catches his reflection or his shadow out of the corner of his eye, and how often he feels and sees his hair when he turns his head. When these things happen, I expect my mane to be there, and it's got to be loose around my head. If I put my hair in a tail, I will almost immediately afterwards see a guy who does not look like me at all and, dude, that pony tie right then has got to go.
Well, right now, I would be extremely happy were my hair long enough to put in a tail. I have been growing it out now for almost two years. My hair _is_ long. Almost long enough to put in a tail. Almost but not quite.
It is long enough however, that it falls forward and blocks my vision if I look down even just a little bit. Long enough that I find it a major distraction at work when trying to talk to other people. I have to cock my head to one side to keep my locks out of my face so I can see the other person.
I keep on telling myself that I do want Longhair - and I DO want Longhair. I just want it NOW! This in between stuff is driving me nuts! Arrgghhh!!!!!
There. Sorry about that. I feel better now! (grinning widely)
Madoc (keeping the faith and keeping long - really!)
My site. Warning! Bi/ Gay content! Nothing X rated, just that I like guys too!
Although I primarily prefer to, and do wear mine down, I do find myself in more or less the same predicament - constantly having to flip it out of the way talking to someone or presenting, - which is not a problem for me - and just like you say, it is a only minor distraction. Fortunately, for me and several others, my hair length is not an issue at my office and noone seems to care (Has not impeded my career - I manage several groups at a norther California fortune 500 company).
But I will tie mine back just in a fabric scrunchies when I do want it out of the way when working outside, driving with the windows open or on the Harley - the resulting tangles just cause too much breakage otherwise which more or less defeats my objective of growing out to the max.
I tie my hair in three situations only:
- At job interviews
- When the weather is hot (over 30C/85F) and humid, or when it's too windy (in order to avoid tangles)
- When I have to do some work where my hair would get in the way
Otherwise I wear it loose during the day - and braided while sleeping so that it won't get tangled.
Nick