new thread
Here is the deal, My freshman (high school) son has long blond hair.. nice and clean and braided at school... however Our Drama Teacher... Says until my son cuts his hair he cannot even try out for any school plays... Last year as an 8th grader he was in plays and just pinned his hair up and wore hats etc. What should I do now?... btw... we support our son and his choice of hair.
If there's one thing I learned from teaching, it's that parents are in charge at school, not teachers or administrators. At least where I taught!
I'd file a complaint. I'm not aware of any school district that would give a teacher that kind of discretion. Of course, the teacher can select who will fill what role in a play based on personal preference, but not because of hair.
I'd start with a complaint to the administration. If they aren't help, contact the board of education.
Districts want happy parents. Let them know you aren't one at this time.
Well I called the Principal and he said to talk to the teacher himself and make sure that is the case. I just think it is really dumb for this teacher to say this... I mean if he were smart he would let my boy try out for a part and then just not give it to him. Additionally I am hearing from some X students of this teacher that the teacher is shooting off his mouth in church about how he is taking on issue of my son's hair as a personal mission. Church is LDS...
Ask if this applies to girls on an equal basis. Do they have to cut their hair too or is it the opposite where they have to grow their to a certain length?
Then ask how professional productions deal with parts that require different hairstyles, colors, body types, etc. that the individual actors may not have. If he is clueless you can mention wigs, coloring, padding, etc. There are ways to change people looks in non-destructive ways that have been used for centuries...in case he doesn't know, which seems to be the case by his non-sensical position.
Sounds like he is making an effort from some sort of screwed up moralistic viewpoint as opposed to one from a drama class requirements viewpoint.
What kind of school is this BTW?
It is a public High School but in a town that seems to be run by LDS= Mormons. I hate to group them together like that as many seem so nice and kind.
My son's (both have long hair) have always liked the way long hair looked in old movies and on old family photos so we never minded them having it long. We lived in California and there was no real bias but moving to this small community we find it here and there.
He was in Plays last year and pinned up his braid and wore hats. This year they are doing "As you like it". At this point he says he dosent even want to be in the play anymore but he should have been given the right to audition.
Esmerelda
Acting is one of the very few pursuits in which there can be bona fide reasons for short hair. However, this teacher's talk about a 'mission' shows that he has some other warped motivation, perhaps based on Sy Paul's words in Corinthian's.
This is not appropriate, not least because it is unconstitutional (against separation of church and state). Please point out to the principal, the school board, and whoever else will listen that this is illegal, not because of sex discrimination, but because of discrimination in a public school on religeous grounds, i.e. for failing to observe one fool's interpretation of the bible.
Yes Actually they do. In fact we have recieved several teen pamplets from "well meaning" people that say that a mans hair should be short. Long hair is feminine.
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I really don't have the patience, nor the time for people who think like that! If long hair is 'feminine' what's wrong with a any man likeing it? I find short hair looks dull and boring, long hair has character and you know the guy is usually very cool and good to hang around with if he has long hair.
Wierd. I know a few Mormons and they don't have such a belief, but then I'm a long way from Utah. Maybe they left Utah and went East to get away from the church!
There's a theory that the best way to get rid of religeous nuts is to tell them that you are a Catholic! I've never tried it myself. I'm an atheist and don't really care what people say about scripture. Whatever your own religeous affiliation, you should point out that you are not Mormons and don't subscribe to their beliefs.
lol actually I am Catholic! :)
You must talk with the teacher yourself, and in person. I am a teacher of 16 years and a parent and I have long hair. I cannot tell you how face to face conferences make a difference. There is little room for misunderstanding.
Go calmly, but firmly. Ask many questions before you makes statements. Give the teacher every opportunity to explain what his policy is, what is concerns are. If it is all as your son reports, then ask questions about hair and gender. Would he require a buzz-cut boy to grow hair for a certain role--or wear a wig? Would he require a girl to cut her hair in order to be considered--or just have her wear a different style, or wig?
If your son's hair has any connection at all with personal philosophy or religion (for instance, if you hold as one of your tenents that the integrity of a person's body is inviolable)then you may consider telling the teacher that your son's hair is a matter of your religious/philosophical beliefs and what he is asking would violate it. You owe no explanation of that AT ALL. Your beliefs are your right and you do not, in this country, yet, have to explain or defend them.
Good luck and let us know how it goes.
Robert
I can't give any advice on this issue, but I would like to say I truly admire you for supporting your son. So many parents think that long hair immediately defines their kids as being bad kids, or they worry about what others will think if their kid looks the least bit different. (My father flipped out when I got my ear pierced at 18 because he was worried about what people would think of *him.*) It's refreshing to see parents who see that it's not what's on the outside that makes the kid; insteasd, it's their heart and their mind.
You'll find some good advice on this board. Good luck!
Jeremy
Well let me just say I think it is awesome that you support your son with his decision about his hair preference, I wish my parents did...I get so much complaints from them its not even funny...and my dad had long hair once that was down to his shoulders so I don't see why he's being so hypocritical. Anyway good luck with the whole situation and let us know how it goes.
Steven
Why do your parents ob ject to your long hair?
Esmerelda
Well part of the reason is my dad was in the air force so of course he wants me to keep my hair short at all times. My mom was supportive in the beginning but now she wants me to shorten it because she's afraid I won't be able to get a job anywhere.
Steven
How long is your son's hair?
I know its partially irrelevant but I'm just curious. Also sounds to me like you need to talk to the teacher directly... he is obviously out of line here..
ooohhh come on......
threaten legal action and they fil fold like a house of cards....
anyway a teacher cant discriminate like that...just go to
the principal
easy task!!!
Dave
Though it sounds extreme, threaten lawsuit for discrimination and possibly harasment.
Assuming he is attending public school, there is usually no rules against males with long hair and if any rules or policies weren't stated in the handbook, that is cause for legal action though probably not necessary, once letting the teacher and principal know you will do it if you need to.
This teacher is implementing her own biased rules.
stand strong with your son and dont back down.
peace,
Eddie.
It seems to me that the root of the problem is the teacher's narrow minded view of the Christian response to long haired men.
Unless this is a school directly connected to a church, he has no right to impose his opinions on his pupils, and in your situation, I would tell him so.
Unfortunately, however, you cannot prevent a teacher from discriminating against a particular pupil. In almost any other type of schol, this is less important, as the pupil can still study and do well in examinations, but in a drama school, a teacher can prevent a pupil getting good parts and thus showing what he can do.
When I was at school, a group of pupils (who were discriminated against because they enjoyed acting!) set up an 'underground' show and acted plays during midday breaks. Your son may have to look for similar ways to counter a negative reaction at this stage, but once he becomes known in the wider world, his hair, which is awesome, will be a great asset.
I would follow Robert's advice. You are looking for a true
victory, not just a symbolic one. Talk to the teacher first and
get the true story firsthand. Then be clear about what you want
without being confrontational. If that doesn't work, you will
have plenty of opportunity to escalate to the principal (is this
a school policy?), school board (discrimination), media (church &
state issue). But start by inviting cooperation. If you invite
a confrontation at the beginning, you will just make your job
harder.
Yikes... this teacher sounds like a real pain. I don't have anything to add to the advice already given beyond that I agree with starting with the diplomatic approach. This kind of crap burns me up and I'm really pulling for you and your son. Let us know how it turns out!
I would goand tell that teacher what for !!!!
te;ll him that that is discrimination against long haird people, and say if your SON isent allowed to have long hair in a school production then say it is no different from any girl having long hair in the play !!!
I would goand tell that teacher what for !!!!
te;ll him that that is discrimination against long haird people, and say if your SON isent allowed to have long hair in a school production then say it is no different from any girl having long hair in the play !!!
Sex discrimination won't work as a legal issue. It should, but the judges have set bad precedents due to bias. Separation of church and state puts you on very firm ground, OTOH. It appears that the Mormon church has this policy and the teacher has tried to make it school policy on the grounds of his religeous belief, which is unconstitutional. He can't do that.
I would speak to the teacher and advise him, politely, that legal measures may be taken. I personally wouldn't want to go that route but if it's that important to your son than you gotta do what you gotta do.
I've been teaching 15 years. I could see the drama teacher being honest with him by telling him that his hair will exremely limit him in the roles he could do. But to state that he could not even try out.....that's going a little far. That being said, long hair just might not fit the roles of the particular play/musical they are doing.
Last year, one of our junior high's did the musical "Groovy". Some of the boys actually let their hair grow for six months for the musical. But some of those boys would also shave their head if that is what the role called for.
High school drama steps it up several notches over the junior high drama. Your son does have to be realistic about his hair and the roles he might want.
I knew people in college who cut their hair to land a role that they wanted. It's all about choice and priorities.
But you wrote something about his guy referring to your son's hair at church........that's a different story. In this situation, you do have a reason to be upset.
Consider this.......If someone forced the drama teacher to let your son do a play, it probably wouldn't end up being a positive experience for him. Your son might just decide to get out the situation in the end.
I would discuss this calmly (take a deep breath ;-) with the principal, giving him the entire story from your point of view. This teacher might do similar things with other students (not even dealing with hair.)
Good luck.
(Could we see a picture of his hair from the back? I applaud you for not showing his face or posting his name!)
At the high school where I teach, I see students with long hair, facial piercings, weird hair colors and makeup. It's not a problem, and it's too bad when supposedly responsible adults turn it into a problem.
To be judicious, to appease both parties, I would reccomend he wears a short haired WIG, covering his braids at school at all times. In this manner, both your son would be satisfied as he wouldnt have to cut his hair off, and the teacher would have no reason to expel him. Its best not to take a legal course that would be detrimental to his future career.
To be judicious, to appease both parties, I would reccomend he wears a short haired WIG, covering his braids at school at all times. In this manner, both your son would be satisfied as he wouldnt have to cut his hair off, and the teacher would have no reason to expel him. Its best not to take a legal course that would be detrimental to his future career.
To be judicious, to appease both parties, I would reccomend he wears a short haired WIG, covering his braids at school at all times. In this manner, both your son would be satisfied as he wouldnt have to cut his hair off, and the teacher would have no reason to expel him. Its best not to take a legal course that would be detrimental to his future career.
