new thread
Just yesterday I was shopping in a department store when my path
just happened to cross with another guy who had a ponytail approximately
the same length as mine (almost mid-back).
We glanced at each other without saying a word, but as I walked
away, I could feel his eyes watching me & my tail until I went around the corner.
I had the feeling that he would have liked to say a couple of words to me
about my hair--you know, just a comment or two.
So here's my question: What do you think is 'appropriate' in this
kind of 'situation'?
Should be just nod and 'acknowledge' each other as being some kind of 'Longhair brother,
or would a word or two be more welcome?
Afterall, we all appreciate be acknowledged for 'who' we are!
I think this is a great question. As a "short hair" committed to growing my hair out, I frequently see guys with long hair that I'd like to comment on. I refrain, for fear they'll think I'm hitting on them. I saw a long-haired guy in Starbucks the other day whose haired appeared to be the same type as mine (coarse, curly, etc.) I really wanted to ask him about it, but shyed away 'cause I thought it would be weird if I stood up, crossed the room, walked over and said, "Hey...I like your hair. I didn't want him to think I was making moves.
I've wondered the same. One of my buddies cousins has hair down to the middle of his back and I started asking him a couple of questions like "When did he start growing it?" and When does he get it cut?" and he got really uncomfortable. It's not the same as chatting here - where everyone is really talkative about everything. I guess it must have to do with ones comfort zone.
...question, LK. As far as what's 'appropriate', I would think there is no clear answer, except for...it depends. For example, someone may be obviously introverted or having a bad day, in which case I'd see do nothing! But, on the other hand, you may notice someone is in a happy outgoing mood, in which case a word or two may be 'appropriate'. So, I'd say "it depends". (perfect lawyerly response, isn't it!) :)
I was in a work release program for a misdemanor so you usually get to know the guys well. One guy had hair with the back down to his shoulders but the middle was bald. I asked him how long it took for him to grow it out and he said a year. He said when he was younger he had a full beard and hair down to his waist. You just have to find the right way of talking about it. I know I would feel uncomfortable if some weird guy came up and asked me about my hair.
A nod of acknowledgement would probably be the best thing, especially between strangers.
You were quite cool in this situation.
I often find myself in his position when I encounter another longhair and quite often the other longhair reacts rather nervously if he realises I'm watching him even from afar, though what he's thinking I can't say.
That why I think some kind of acknowledgement would at least show you aren't hostile.
Try:
"Cool hair man!" and flash a thumbs up.
I'd just nod or say something like, "What's up, man" and leave it at that.
--
Splat
I'd just nod, maybe a smile, and leave it at that. I wouldn't waqnt the guy to think I'm hitting on him! If the guy is scruffy looking, I wouldn't do anything, but if he was reasonably tidy, and looked cool, I'd smile. Maybe a 'Cool hair, man', if he looked cool.
...the other Longhair was a clerk in a store?
You could ask a question...and THEN throw in a comment about the hair.
If the other guy felt like talking about his hair, he would
probably do so at this point.
I have to admit that I have NEVER talked to any other Longhair
about his hair.
And I really doon't know what I would say! Hmmmm, maybe
I'd mention how long it took to grow or something like that.
I suppose some longhaired guys would be uncomfortable talking about
their hair, but others might really enjoy it.
In fact, I once saw this one guy standing in line
with a long, curly-haired tail that he allowed to spread out
over most of his back.
Like a peacock's tail, almost...and he was as proud as a peacock himself,
as he would shake his shake his head from time to time while
waiting in line;
had a big smile on his face, too! And when the clerk commented
on his tail, you could tell he was very PROUD of his hair...
...then again, he seemed vVERY extroverted with earings and
big leather boots...sort of 'pirate-looking'.
I sort of wish I had that attitude (well, not quite THAT much!)
Anyway, my point is that people react in many different ways--
and no tow people are alike.
I typically just nod, perhaps say 'hi'. I don't know. I don't think trying to engage the other person in conversation is the best idea... Might come off too eager.
Love,
Kiat T.
I've found that strangers are very flattered if you ask if it's ok to take their picture. Whip out a digicam. Position them so you have a clear shot of the side or back, without their face. They think that's very amusing.
Also, ask if you intend to post, but it shouldn't be any big deal to them as long as their face isn't in the picture.
I have generally found it half and half. The other day I was walking along and I turned my head and saw this guy with hair a little shorter than mine smiling at me from a car that had stopped at the lights. I have come across others who may not smile but do turn and look.
But I have also met others who just pass by without look or comment. I myself generally look, but don't comment or smile unless the other guy has done it before.
Well, I guess you can say whatever you want, since it seems most of us tend to eye up each other anyway. I'm sure they'd understand.
I was in a garage today, and the guy serving me had a long tail. I could see him looking at me as I stood there and feel a kind of mutual respect thing. So when I said thankyou, I just added "nice tail by the way" and he smiled and said I'd have one in no time.
It's not often I'll talk to a stranger like that, but I'm trying to better myself and make people feel better about themselves in the way I speak and act.
So yeah, talk to someone if you feel like it - I'm sure most of the time it'll be accepted warmly.
wolfeyes
