new thread
I found this site while searching for links on selling hair and was really surprised to find there's this whole site dedicated to men with long hair. At any rate, I'm thinking about chopping it off to conform with society's passe standard in regards to men with long hair. Sad isn't it?
Ignore my last post which was blank.
Anyway, if you find it sad to chop your hair, why do you want to do it to conform with society's passe standard for men with short (not long) hair?
What kinds of pressure are you under from your peers and the society around you.
It's your choice but all I can say is don't cut it. It looks great on you and it would be a great pitty for the world to lose another fine longhair.
Please give it a second thought
Charles
If you cut your hair, do so for your own reasons, not because of what other people think. I assumed the image included in your msg is of you... it must've taken alot of time to grow it to that length. Think about that before cutting it off. A good rule of thumb that has been suggested here is to wait 2 weeks to give yourself a chance to reconsider. When you cut, you do not betray me or anyone else here; but if you cut because of outside pressure, you betray your own principles and right to be an individual. Chances are, if you cut to satisfy someone's criticism, they'll see that as a license to nitpick other aspects of your life... so think very hard before chopping.
Brian,
Just another piece of information.
I have a longhaired friend who cut his hair short because of pressure from his girlfriend. Well, shortly after losing his hair, he lost his girl and regretted cutting his hair in the first place.
Give it serious thought
Your hair is gorgeous. It will take only a few minutes to chop it, but years to grow it back!
Take it from someone who is now growing out from a SHAVED HEAD...
DON'T DO IT, YOU WILL REGRET IT!
Steve
I find your hair wonderful; i would like very much to have hair like yours; don't cut it.
Ah, how long did it take to grow your hair so long?
Joe
Hi Brian.
I'm not surprissed to see how many feedback you already had regarding your tentation to cut your beauriful long hairs. A lot of us crave to have such hairs and it would indeed be very ashamed to sacrifice those to meet some society standards.
Like Charles pointed it out. You would be very disapointed to do so in order to please the others and later realise that it wasn't necessary.
Your decision has to come from you and for you.
Also, I beleive in waiting 2 weeks before to do anything in case you would like to reconsider.
Keep us informe please
Jean
Wow...thanks for the feedback everyone. I'd like to address some of the questions posed and points made.
First of all, I started growing my hair over 9 years ago (at the age of 14) from a shaved buzz-cut head. It just grew and grew and grew. I was blessed with a fast-growing healthy head of hair and I am grateful for it. In the past year I've had about 7-8 inches cut off to where it is now which is about tail-bone length. It was just nearly impossible to manage at that length. One thing I should mention here is that it's shaved on the sides and grown out only on top and the back, so the overall effect isn't as thick as it could be. No one realizes this until I pull it into a pony-tail. Okay...
I'm currently not working and searching for acceptable employment in the computer field. I've been working in the high-tech arena for 4 years now with this hair and it hasn't been much of a problem up until now. The jobs I'm applying for and attempting to secure are with your typical hoity-toity corporate types who have traditionally frowned upon individualism and freedom of expression. Having long hair is wrongfully and ignorantly associated with concepts such as drugs and rebellion, etc. Prospective employers have actually commented on the length of my hair and whether or not I would be willing to cut it. It's difficult to understand the rationalism here considering the circumstances: no face to face interaction with clients, not selling products to consumers - in traditional method anyway. Should we not be judged upon past performance, character, and technical ability? Why does the length of my hair become a deciding factor? Beautiful and long kempt hair is not tolerated while obesity and lack of personal hygeine is prevalent in almost every working environment I've been in. I'm not trying to make direct comparisons, but I find the fact that I've been singled out for having long hair is just as ludicrous. I've interviewed extensively at many companies. I feel fully qualified for these positions yet no offers have been made. It's only logical to me that the reason for this is the length of my hair.
I love my hair and don't want to cut it. I feel that I wear it well and would regret it so much if I did. The pressures of cutting it are coming from the work environments I have put myself in and am looking to put myself in. This is driven by the necessity of monetary gain to fuel my true love in life; music. Unfortunately music isn't paying the bills (yet).
May I offer some observations as a devil's advocate? I sympathize with your situation, not because I have long hair, but because I discovered somewhat late in life that I am not someone who fits well into traditional workplaces. (I'm now happily self-employed, thank you very much.)
The drug association is silly, of course, but not necessarily the rebellion part. Would you be willing to admit that you keep your hair long in part because you value the identity it gives you as an outsider, as someone who does not submit to convention? If that's true, then your hair communicates powerfully without you ever having to open your mouth. Now imagine how that appears to an employer who doesn't know you from Adam, doesn't have time to get to know you, and simply wants to hire someone who can do the job without rocking the boat.
After all, if they decide to let you call the shots relating to your appearance, why shouldn't they expect you to want to do the same about your job duties? your work environment? The workplace is a de facto community that operates according to its own standards and customs. A degree of conformity to those standards and customs matters a lot in workplaces where teamwork is crucial. Not surprisingly, very few workplace cultures reside on the cutting edge, where conventional notions of personal appearance aren't considered important. That's not an excuse, just an acknowledgement of reality.
Like it or not, you and your hair are a walking repudiation of mainstream values that most companies live by. Your charge -- and it's a difficult one -- is to convince prospective employers that (1) your long hair doesn't really mean what it is generally recognized to mean and (2) in all other respects you are willing to fulfill the needs and wants of your employer. In other words, you have to make it very clear to them where your individual identity ends and your identity as a member of the community begins. But don't expect them to want to go to too much effort on your behalf when there are other people, some of them more willing to conform, who might be in line to do that job. Perhaps a better alternative is to confine your job search to computer companies that employ men with hair as long as yours.
You seem to assume that employers only hire people based on their competency. You also seem to assume that one's role in the workplace is open to negotiation, with employee and employer having equal roles. Have you ever worked with people who were very competent, yet clearly unsuited to the workplace culture? That's what most prospective employers consider when they make hiring decisions.
When I had a corporate job that involved hiring, finding someone whose personality and demeanor and work habits made him or her a good fit in our department was at least as important as his or her knowledge and skills. Interestingly, it wasn't until late in the game that I realized that *I* didn't fit into the workplace culture. This made my coworkers and my employer unhappy. That's why I'm now self-employed.
You should only do what feels right for you. If cutting your hair seems like an intolerable concession, then don't do it. But since you insist on the right to look exactly as you please, you must also accept responsibility for the consequences of that choice.
For example, you blame prospective employers in the computer industry for making an issue of your appearance. You could just as easily blame the music industry for failing to provide meaningful employment that would allow you to keep your long hair.But both represent circumstances over which you have no real control. All you have control over is which one you choose to accept.
It sounds like you handled your boss's heavy-handed attitude quite well.
Brian, you do *not* have to cut your hair to get a good computer-related job. There are so many high-tech computer jobs now
going begging for lack of qualified people that I strongly suggest
you leave off the "hoity-toity" firms with the shorn hair, blue and
grey suits, and pant cuffs and go with the smaller *growing*
businesses, the more leading edge ones who care only about your
computer abilities. With these organizations, you can stay in the
background, at least for the first two years or so, and seldom have
to interact with a client. Your superiors will do that. What these
next-gen firms want is your developer/engineering abilities. There
are plenty of long-haired guys working with computers. Join them.
You have *no* obligation to anyone, not even society as a whole, to
cut your hair, any more than you have to cut off your leg. Also,
with the small, more laid back, but more productive, inventive, and
innovative firms, you get very good stock options for the time when
the firm takes off. You're still young, and would benefit from that,
perhaps becoming a millionaire early in life as so many have done (but
starting pay is often low since these firms have little money)
Keep your long hair, braid it, bun it at the back of the head - it
can look great - , but never succumb to "society's" demand that you
cut it. It is a part of you. You want it; you keep it; it's *yours*.
In the interest of long hair,
OM
****************************************
I have a great job for a company called eCHARGE. I interviewed with a really big beard and shaved head.
The hiring manager was VERY conservative (3-piece suite at all times).
Guess what? I got the job, beard is never a problem.
Now the beard is huge (and getting bigger), and to top it off, I am growing out my hair and aiming for MAXIMUM length.
Steve
P.S. They think the long hair thing at work is cool, and are giving me full encouragement.
You are one lucky cat...they hiring in the Dallas area?
Glad to see that you're still holding out for the right job that will let you keep the long hair. Keep me posted on how things are going.
Lee
Imagine my surprise at scrolling down the postings and seeing
that I'd posted two messages to a particular thread- but memory
of making only one. I've ruled out drug-induced anmesia, and alien
mind control, and all my other personalities denied making
this post, also.
It seems that someone else (another Lee) posted something also.
Now, I can certainly understand someone missing that there is already
a Lee on this board, since I'm a very infrequent poster. However,
since I'd _already_ posted a message into the _very_same_thread_ I
conclude that the probably just slipped by this other Lee's
attention. But... can you spell "confusion?" The FAQ for this board
(quite properly) asks that posters use unique posting names.
All Lees, repeat in unison:
"We are Lee.
You will be assimilated.
Resistance is futile!"
Only in my dreams could I grow my hair as long as yours :-)
One way you could deal with this dilemma is to indicate in your resume and during interviews that you would be willing to cut your hair if necessary. If it's a really great job that you want very badly, it might be the compromise you have to make.
Now this raises some interesting questions. Would you really want to work for a company which intrudes into its employees' personal lives to the point of dictating their appearance? Does the company have a similar policy governing the length of *women's* hair? If not, it is clearly a case of gender discrimination. If you keep your hair long due to religious beliefs or cultural customs (Sikh, Native American, whatever) and they wanted you to have short hair, I'd think that would raise issues of dicrimination on the basis of religion and ethnic origin. Suppose you had a "significant other" who liked you with long hair ... might the employer's policy of requiring you to have short hair have a negative impact on that relationship?
So much depends on how badly you want a given job and whether you'll be lucky enough to find a company with a circumspect attitude towards long hair on men.
Why would anyone offer to cut their hair? It is bad enough if asked. If he offers, someone may say YES, when it may not have mattered...
I'd kill for hair like yours Brian.
OK! I see your problem, its the employers.
As a matter of interest, which part of the world do you live in?
I'm an IT journalist with a major newspaper in Malaysia and I have long hair, and so does one of my colleagues in my section and more in the other sections including our sports editor.
In the course of my work, I've also realised that California-based computer companies, especially the smaller ones are pretty easy about longhair. Like Sun Microsystems had Miko Matsumara trotting around the world evangelising Java and he had very long hair.
He subsequently left Sun and joined Biztone.com and he cut his hair real short and looked like a bloody geek but he is growing it again.
Check out http://www.biztone.com/team.html
His boss Darryl Carlton denied that he had forced him to have it cut and Miko said that he did it on his own accord.
Anyway as others have suggested, why don't you look for a job in these smaller and more innovative companies. Avoid the IBMs and other more conservative East-coast ones.
I find it utterly ridiculous for a company to make such a fuss over long hair on an employee who is behind the scenes.
Well, To get round this prejudice, why don't you tie it into a pony tail and fold it over so its does not look very long. Perhaps that may get you round this problem.
You obviously don't want to do it, it pains you to do it, so don't do it, otherwise you will be very unhappy.
Charles
Brian,
The guy in the pics is not me, its Miko Matsumara when he was at Sun Microsystems.
Hmm, I sense a problem here.
"The jobs I'm applying for and attempting to secure
are with your typical hoity-toity corporate types who have traditionally
frowned upon individualism and freedom of expression."
Why are you applying to stodgy, fuddy-duddy companies? There are
PLENTY of computer jobs (in computer companies and without) at
places that aren't so terribly uptight. And just because you don't
work for a huge firm doesn't mean you have to put in 70-hour weeks
at some chaotic, barely-afloat startup, either- there's plenty in
between those extremes.
My own experience at a large, fuddy-duddy megacorp was maddening.
Entire networks that weren't connected to each other, absurdly
buggy in-house software, whole floors of workers sharing one single
login password, and other isanities were everywhere. And I couldn't
do anything about any of these problems- nobody could, without
being senior management, and there's just no point in waiting around
in workplace HELL for thirty years do so.
The fact is that we computer people are in demand- HIGH demand.
That means we can pick and choose- but I do think you've been looking
in the wrong places. Of course, some 'puter skill are in more
demand than others. What part of the field are you in? I've got
a few years of Sun Solaris sys admin/configuration experience, long
shaggy curls, and don't have problems getting offers.
Lee
sectari@pacbell.net
Lee
Mainly LAN/WAN Networking, Routers and Servers. I have a little
Solaris experience modifying zone files but not much.
I wish I knew more UNIX.
Cut it, Brian...I did...you'll love it!
I think that this remark is off subject.
Maybe I'm wrong but I think that this board is for those who want to have long hairs and need help and encouragements in that matter. Not to be told to cut our hairs, especially when they are as beautiful as Brian's one...
Jean