new thread
Hello everyone!
I'd first like to introduce myself.. I'm 24 years old and loved long hair since high school days. I live in a tiny but famous place called Singapore and this place have a unique law that requires all male citizens aged 18 and above to go through a compulsory, 30 months (2.5years) military service. I served in it during 1994 to 1996 and afterwhich, I decided to satisfy my innermost desire to grow out my hair (which I REALLY couldn't for the past 21 years with all the school rules etc.).
During the year when I was a freshman in the University, I started to grow my hair out to chin level. Afterwhich, under girlfriend's, family, friends and "self" pressure, I hacked it off (the growth stage is between March 1996 to March 1997). Everybody started to comment that "wow! how handsame you look", "that's more like my boy", "you look so charming", "long hair is really not for you"...etc. Yes, I'm a pisces and really cared for and liked to look in my best. But why must long hair be my nemesis??
After the "mistake" that I've made, I started to grow it out again. This time round, with MORE determination. The growth period this time round was from March to December 1997 (cut again?? You might say). Yes, in December 1997, I hacked them off again but this time, it is totally out of my own will. This is the reason why:
In Singapore, after the compulsory 2.5 years military service, we are supposed to go for an annual training lasting for the next 13 years. Each training stint is about 2 weeks. We supposed to observe ALL military rules for this period of time including a (unreasonably feudal, conservative and opressive I would say), "cut the hair to a standard military cut". I did not know this before my first call up after the compulsory service. I thought that since we had done the compulsory service, subsequent service would entail RESPECT from whatever authorities especially our personal grooming and items, since, furthermore, we are doing EXTRA for the country (which not everybody likes it or have the time for it). But alas, when I booked-in to my first In-Camp Training (ICT) in December 1997 with long hair, they immediately summoned me to the displinary office and told me in a straight and commanding voice to cut off my hair. They even warned me that if I ever have such hair during my subsequent callups, they'll send me to military jail. I felt that I LOST MY RIGHT AS A HUMAN BEING!!!
I endured the training after I had my standard military cut and decided that I should STOP cutting my hair after this service to maximise whatever length I could before the next service (sad but true). And finally, I had the best chance to grow out my hair during the next 2 years and I really did not cut any inch of it. Finally, I got a mid-back length (growth between 8 Dec 1997 to 10 Dec 1999) and sucks...you know what happened again. I was called up again and I really had to part with my hair once more!
This time round, I asked my hairdresser to try and keep intact as much of my cut ponytail as possible. She did it by cutting at the nearest possible point to the root of my hair. Now, I had kept with me 15 inches (1.3 feet) of my cut hair.
I'm really feeling like I've lost something now and really yearned to have my hair back. The system in this country really lacked justification and I really wanted to make it right but with little help. I love this country but in this aspect, it might force me to migrate. I also wanted my hair back immediately but I know it will take another 2 years to have that length. But knowing that I have another military training in March 2001, the conclusion is that, I can NEVER have any length below my shoulder (unless after 35 years old). I'm feeling empty and lost having being oppressed by a country's system, a system that makes a country look like a zoo. How unjustified!
P.S. Pardon me for this long post. Millions of apologies! Thanks so much for "listening/reading" if you've read to this point. Merry Christmas and Happy New Millenium!!
I really cry for you Jin. From your long post it is obvious long hair is part of your identity, something that is an innate part of your soul and that will unlikely ever change. You are not alone. Not all longhairs feel deep identity issues with their hair like you do, and I do, but quite a few do who frequent this board.
That's a long time.
When something is part of your identity, you don't do it to satisfy other people, you do it for yourself. All people draw the line somewhere when it comes to pleasing others. With us that is the case with our hair. People with majority identites are never threatened, of course, but those of us with minority ones do need protection. Sadly, that protection has been piecemeal - for religion and nationality for example - rather than across the board. You are young; let's hope protection for us becomes commonplace in your lifetime. In the meantime, you must do what you can to protect yourself now.
(here omitting your description of much sadness and repetitive hair cutting against your will)
It is sad that you must choose between your country and your identity, but do not blame yourself. Your identity is not something you can change, while their rule is something they can. So this problem is their doing, not yours.
You are not the first man from Singapore to post on here with this predicament. As I recall another man a few years older than you was on here about a year ago. His feelings ran just as deep. It's a tough choice to make to leave your country, but your identity is not going to change and you only have one life to live. Thirty-five years to not be yourself is half your lifetime. You've already given them a third of it, and that, man, is more than enough.
No apologies needed for that here. That is why we are here.
I feel for you too. Up until last week when I found this board I thought I was the only one with the "identity issues" and attachment to my hair since forever. It was to the point I wondered if I was normal. It's a relief and a great feeling to know others (males in particular) can have this too.
I feel for anyone who has to compromise this.
Just had to voice support if it helps, and a thankfulness for others who feel the same.
Rick